Veneration

3. Policy of Truth

"Hey! Hello? Aziraphale?" Crowley's voice pipped up.  The demon was sitting upright now with a smug smile.

Aziraphale startled. His thoughts had been a thousand years away. "Uh, what?"

"You kind of blanked out for a second there.  We were talking about Medeshamssstede." Crowley pulled out the sibilants.

"Um, yes. Well, so, we-we're going to talk about that." There was no use in pretending. No point acting as if he didn't know what Crowley meant.

"Yes, let's.  Let's..bring it out of the shadows, so to say."

Aziraphale hadn't seen Crowley for almost another century after that.  When they did meet, the demon had a dozen urgent matters to talk about. He didn't mention the monastery.  Aziraphale was greatly relieved.  He told himself Crowley never knew he was there - not at the monastery and certainly not spying on his activities.  He had just been reading things into a...an eye twitch.  The angel tried (but failed) to put the incident out of his mind entirely.

"So...." Aziraphale tried to begin.

"So."

"Um...I was..."

"You were lurking." Crowley said with drunken conviction.

"Just...just checking their herbs. They had yarrow. But it was cow parsley..."He trailed off.

"Huh.  And then, what?  Little bout of angelic voyeurism?"

"Um.  D-divine Intercession?" Aziraphale's tongue stumbled. "I thought, maybe. Well, I..I didn't know you quite so well then.  We weren't working together yet.  And, and I thought maybe I was supposed to...."

"Divine Intercession? Uh-huh. I see. Well, that clears everything up." Obviously it did not.

Crowley stood up and paced behind the settee where Aziraphale sat. He dropped his elbows onto the back, steepled his fingers, rested his chin on them and frowned in deep thought. "Now...forgive me, I'm rusty on this...But as I recall, Divine Intercession doesn't require direct physical proximity. Seems to me that it can come from, oh, I don't know, outside a room?"

Aziraphale swallowed and searched for something to say.

"And why would that poor human need Divine Intercession? Was he being....coerced? Tricked? Deceived? Did he seem confused? Drunk?" Crowley paused between each question, "Young Edmer wasn't marked for any special purpose, divine or infernal. Just a regular, run-of-the-mill human, free to choose his own vices." Crowley dropped his arms forward and turned his head toward the angel. "So, I'll ask you again. Why were you lurking there?"

Aziraphale didn't have an answer.

"Do you want to know what I think?" Crowley asked.

"Um, no." Aziraphale answered weakly.

"I think." Clearly he hadn't really been asking a question. The demon moved closer, "I think that maybe...maybe just some small part of you..." His mouth now hovered next to Aziraphale's ear. "...stayed to watch me ssssuck cock." He snapped his teeth lightly.

Aziraphale drew a sharp breath in. His ears burned. His heart squeezed and he felt like it would pound out of his chest. Not that that would actually harm him in any way, but it was a starling feeling none the less.

"Am I wrong, angel?" Crowley began circling back around slowly. "Tell me you don't think about it.  Tell me such a prurient thought doesn't slip in from the edges of your mind sometimes, weaving into your pious, virginal, angelic ideas." Crowley was now standing directly in front of him.

Angels are not good liars.  They can fib, prevaricate, dissemble, and speak in lofty abstracts.  But they can't outright deny a truth.  Crowley was right and the angel knew it. Aziraphale did think about it, a lot.  Angels weren't supposed to have those kinds of thoughts -- and absolutely not have the feelings that such thoughts arose in him.

Aziraphale felt decidedly like a small bird facing a python. It was an irrational feeling. He was the stronger of the two and could easily smite Crowley with a touch, a word or even a thought. Despite his meek, self-effacing manner, Aziraphale possessed Heaven's serene fortitude and was immune from emotional manipulation or intimidation. But still, he felt tingly, as if he was a wire vibrating with electricity. It was disquieting, dangerous. It was...thrilling.

Crowley placed his hands against the settee on either side of Aziraphale's head. He leaned in until the were face to face."You think I can't see it in you? Can't smell it on you?"  His moved his mouth next to Aziraphale's left ear, whispering "Your desire radiates out of every pore."

He moved his face back to Aziraphale's.   He placed a knee on the settee next to the angel's leg, leaning in further, caging him.  "It's in there, screaming at me, in everything you do. Your coquettish glances, those artfully obtuse innuendos, your foodgasms, your...natty little bowtie! Calling out: 'Please! Please, Crowley, kiss me! Please fuck me!'"

Time stopped.  The demon's mouth was inches from his own. He's going to kiss me, the angel thought. Right here, right now, Crowley is going to kiss me.

But he didn't. Crowley made a low noise in his throat and stepped away. He collapsed into the seat next to Aziraphale.  He pressed fingers to his temples, clearing out the evening's alcohol.

Then the demon sat back and stared straight ahead. He placed his hand over his mouth and exhaled slowly. "Well, I should leave." He stood.

"Leave?" Aziraphale unfroze. "Wait! No, you can't go. I'll admit it.  I think about it, about that." Quietly. "About you." Silently. About us.

"That's why I'm leaving." Crowley said, shrugging on a black jacket, pointedly not looking at him.  "Wouldn't want any prurient thoughts breaking out.  Terrible things! Frightening for good little angels."

Anger flared. Now Crowley was just being a jackass. "Don't patronize me, Crowley! I'm not a child!" 

"Oh, I'm well aware of that." He finally glanced at Aziraphale, darkly. "Rather uncomfortably aware, if I may be frank." He turned and walked out of the sitting room, waving a hand up in a quick, half-hearted farewell.

Uncomfortably aware? Did he mean..? Before he could stop himself, Aziraphale leapt after the demon.  He reached Crowley in the short hallway leading to the main store, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him about face.  Without thinking, without even thinking about thinking, he kissed the demon full on the lips.