Love & Lost

C H A P T E R ❽

While ordering for both of us, Forty doesn't advert his dark stare from me. I don't even focus on what he's telling the waiter, the only thing that's repeating in my head is the name, Kayden. His name causes a cold shiver to run through my spine. I'm not even sure how Forty knows about him but I can't tell him everything, at least not yet.

The waiter leaves and Forty is still staring at me. I look down at my drink to distract myself from this upcoming conversation.

"Again, who's Kayden, princess?" He pushes the subject and I'm not grateful for it.

"He's Soul's older brother, why do you ask?" I act as if it doesn't bother me but I know he can see threw my fake facade.

"Last night when I stayed over, I was sleeping until I woke up to the sound of you mumbling his name. You sounded scared and desperate for help." He frowns. I need to learn how to stop sleep talking.

"That's weird, I guess it was just a bad dream." I look him in the eye challenging him to continue his investigation.

"I took you out today because I want to get to know you better. That means being honest with me about everything. I won't judge your past because I know that everyone in the world has secrets that they don't want anyone else knowing about. With me, you don't have to worry." Forty looks so sincere, I'm on the verge of crying but hold back my tears.

"When I'm ready." Is all I say before focusing on the food that's being brought to us. The waiter places my plate in front of me first before continuing with Forty's and asking if we need anything else, before walking away.

"Fair enough, so what do you like doing besides baking?" He asks as we both dig into the delicious meal in front of us, garlic hitting my nostrils.

"I used to horseback ride and I miss it. I also like reading." I admit and remember the time I tried riding again after I broke my leg from the horse.

"Why did you stop?" He looks really interested in getting to know more about me.

"I fell off one time and the horse ran over my leg, I tried riding again but got too much anxiety." I shrug and he laughs.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't be laughing, that's sad." He continues to laugh and I can't help but smile at the angelic sound.

"I have videos of 12-year-old me on Morphine, wanna see?" I pull out my phone as he nods his head quickly, accepting the offer. We sit there going through the old videos and I have a smile on my face as he starts laughing again.

"That is amazing, please send me those." He pushes aside his finished plate and I do as well.

"No can do, those are private." I shake my head at the thought of seeing those online with thousands of views, reminding me of the time Kayden threatened to expose me at the age of 14 when I told him I wouldn't do what he asked anymore. I can't help but let the tears escape and cry into my hands, excusing myself from the table and speed walking to the ladies' room. I place my hands on the marble counter and stare at myself in the mirror.

"You're stronger than this. Don't let anyone else in, it's safer that way." I say to myself and try drying my tears as they stream down my face.

Soon the bathroom door opens, revealing Forty with a concerned face. "Baby what's wrong? You can talk to me." He wraps me into his arms and leans against the counter for support.

"Everything in my life gets fucked up by people because I choose to please everyone instead of listening to what I want and I'm sick of it." I cry into his shoulder as he rubs his fingers gently up and down my back. He smells so damn good.

"I feel like I'm not free and all I want is to be free from him." I continue to release all of my stress.

"Please tell me so I can help you, Elle." He kisses my forehead and I debate on whether or not I should tell him about the situation.

"You will be disgusted by me." I cry again.

"No, you could never disgust me, love." He squeezes me closer to him.

"I can't talk about it here. Can we please leave." I look up at him to see he's eyebrows creasing together.

"Of course, let me just pay and we can go to my place if you want." He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, before drying my tears. We walk out of the empty bathroom back to the older woman standing near the front.

"Put it on my card Elsa, we need to go." He kisses the lady's cheek and she nods her head as we make our way to the exit.

"How do you know her?" I quietly question as we walk down the street to his parked i8.

"She's Williams's mother." He speaks and I suddenly see the similarity in my head. They both have the same twilight hair and light eyes. Good looks must run in the family.

Forty opens the passenger door for me and I slide in with ease, closing it behind me as he strolls to his side of the vehicle. The drive is peaceful, the only sounds are the soft breathing from us both and the quiet music playing in the background. I feel his hand on my thigh, rubbing circles around it and I smile, leaning against the cool door. His touch causes my stomach to whirl around.

〄

Forty opens the door to a very costly looking apartment, with ebony modern walls cascading down the lean hallway. It's not the type of place you would call home, it looks so dull and isolated.

He directs me to his orderly living room and takes a seat on the couch, patting the spot next to him, with his large calloused hand.

"Tell me from the very beginning." He holds my hands in his as I sit on the couch next to him.

I look away from his drastic, captivating eyes and laugh. "Where do I start?"