Amend

Chapter Three: Alana: I Can't Leave You

I Can't Leave You
       ~Aware: Long Chapter

I stretched while reaching to feel for Richard's body and just as I expected, it was already gone and the spot was cold, meaning he's been gone for a while. What time does he wake in the morning, he's always gone so soon, too soon. I rolled over while still smelling the lingering cologne in the pillow he rested his head on in our time spent together, I clutched the pillow to my chest as a tear slipped out of my left eye. Many others bounced afterward as I sniffled and buried my face into the pillow, taking a heavy whiff of his disappearing cologne, wishing it'll linger just a little longer. I was silly, more than silly, I was acting as if he was going to be gone forever and while I knew it wasn't, I hated the thought of him going for just a few hours because I couldn't get enough of Richard. Ugh, Richard. Hurry back, I miss you so much. I rolled back onto my side of the King-sized bed and stared up at the ceiling, it won't be too long before I have to head back to the basement, but I had time because it was still mostly dark outside, probably around five in the morning. 

I knew that I was going to sleep for a while because I was rather sore from last night activities and not only was Richard creative last night, he was energized so we went for a while, but we both were pleased at the end of the road. He was a man that could go for hours and was harder than a brick at the drop of a dime, he was perfect for the bed scene, perfect for the dangerous scene, but was he perfect for a wedding scene? It was a question I pondered on, did Richard even see me that way? Obviously he saw me some type of way because he was constantly coming around, even when I knew that one day, all that would change. One day Richard will get bored and look for someone more interesting, because someone like me could only contain a man for so long, Richard probably didn't even want me and I'm over here mourning like he's gone forever. Silly me. No, stupid me. 

I reached up and wiped at the tear streaks that were slowly drying while rising up and glancing around, it was mostly dark inside the room but I still could make out the room rather well. It was put back together, considering Richard propped me from place to place, from the vanity to the bed, from the bed to the vanity chair, from the vanity chair to the floor, from the floor back to the bed. It was endless, the rounds we weren't were so long that I stop counting after my fourth orgasm and I knew that he was probably going to be continuing after he had his fourth one with me as well. The vanity chair was pushed up taut to the vanity, the dresser drawers were all closed shut and not left array like we had left them before both collapsed into a deep sleep, and the bed was mostly made around my body, he had put the room back together before he left. I nibbled on my lip as I spotted yet another fabric folded at the edge of the bed, as well as another cardboard box sitting atop of it. I smiled lightly at the sight before slowly stretching down and grabbing ahold of the items, I smiled at the note that was written in Richard's scribble: Handling business, see you tonight, Beautiful and I couldn't fight my smile as it grew and spread from ear to ear.

There was definitely something Richard felt towards me and I was going to savor every moment of it, even if it was temporary. What hurt the most was that if Richard was to move on, what would I do? I'd be in love with someone I could no longer have. I didn't want anyone but him, I didn't see myself with anyone but him. Couldn't no other man come in here and sweet me off my feet like him, no other man could make me smile or laugh like him. I would be devastated, utterly and completely shattered on the inside and I wouldn't know how to pick up my own pieces. Deciding I had depressed myself enough, I slid out of the bed and cradled my new belongings to my chest before sliding out of the bed to exit the room. And the walk was like yesterday, head down and completely zoned out of the area around me. Richard had stolen my heart and left me speechless, clueless, and useless to any other man because I didn't want to ever be in another man's arms. I didn't ever want to be held by another man or touched by another man, Richard was the only one that could be near me, no one else was allowed.