It All Comes Back To Me Now

Part 4-Final

I am waking up from a deep sleep, yet not a well-rested one. I notice my surroundings have changed from the last place I remember, Lance's basement. I am currently in a nice bedroom that gives me the feeling of dejavu. This is so surreal.

There is a scent that I recognize, it is jasmine. I recall always loving the smell of jasmine. It reminds me of my childhood home in Minnesota.

Getting up from the bed I start to dress. Out of routine, I grab my camera that is on the dresser and head out the room. "When did I acquire this?" I am thinking to myself. Entering the living room, which opens up to the kitchen, I see a man I know. It is Lance. He is cooking me something to eat before I head out on a photography job. All these details of my current life start flooding my brain. I suddenly begin realizing this same experience has been continuously happening to me, again and again, ever since I ran out of my wedding.

To get a grasp of what is taking place, I rapidly sit down on the couch. All the while, trying not to make any noise. I do not want Lance to hear me. I need to figure out what is going on without him.

Holding my head in my hands I feel a ring on my finger. "It is just as beautiful as the first time he gave it to me." I sigh to myself. However, I notice some markings on the inside that were not there before. It looks like a date of some kind. I recollect it marks the date of significance. I can tell it is brand new.

Looking down at the shiny silver ring with a sparkling pink gem in the center, begins to elicit memories I feel I had never experienced. These memories that are old yet new reveal to me that I am engaged to Lance, which explains the engraved date. I also come to believe this is our house, although, I sense this household used to be shared with someone other than Lance. I cannot figure out who.

Full of disbelief, I start searching the house ever so stealthily. I am looking for pictures that assure me of this life. I need to know this is my reality and not just some poorly thought out dream. Truth be told, this instance feels as if I am dreaming. Yet, it is one of those dreams that convinces you it is real. I have to know the truth.

I whisper to myself, "This isn't right." I begin hyper-ventilating, but am able to get a hold of myself. I continue searching this house.

I am in, what I deduce to be, my bedroom and I see a couple pictures hanging on the wall. I see a photograph of me and a man in a black and white setting. The man in the picture has his back turned, but he is looking at me. Viewing the photo straight on, I am unable to see his face. What I do see very clearly is a tattoo on his right arm, bicep. The shirt he is wearing is covering half of it, but what I am making out are initials that read S.G. at the bottom half of a heart. "S.G.? Who is that or what is that?" I say to myself. I am doing my best to examine this photograph, but I hear Lance calling my name.

"Jules?! Foods ready!"

Recognizing I have to talk to him about the picture disturbs me. Does he know what S.G. stands for or is it a name? This, I am intent on finding out. Walking slowly towards the kitchen, picture in hand, I see Lance.

"Can you tell me who is in this picture?" I am saying in a solemn tone. Holding up the picture ever so steadily while pointing to the man with the tattoo, I patiently wait for his reaction. Dreading the answer, I feel my heart beating fast.

"Oh, that's, uh, us, yeah don't you remember? Our engagement photos." He smiles at me and continues to plate the delicious smelling food.

"Lance, this is not you. You don't have a tattoo, do you?"

Just to be sure I walk over to him and pull up the short sleeve t-shirt on his right bicep. No tattoo. I check the other arm just in case I got the location wrong. Again, nothing there. Struck with terror, I am taking little steps backwards. I forget there is a small step that leads into the kitchen. Tripping over it, I fall hard onto the wooden floors. The strange reoccurring feeling undermines me.