Wanderlust [ editing ]

17. Gone (Abel's POV)

  I begin walking back up to Lamar's apartment. I get near the door and slightly turn the knob. Just as I'm doing that I can hear feet rustling and some whispering on the other side. I open the door and see Cash sitting on the couch watching Tv, Lamar on his phone and Hawk drinking.

  "So how'd it go?" Cash asks.

  "Don't play with me." I quickly reply and they laugh.

  "Where's Krissa?" Lamar asks.

  "Her friend Jessica picked her up. She's staying with her tonight." I reply.

  "So y'all together?" Hawk asks.

  "I'm not really sure. It's hard to say" I begin "Bruh, I told her I love her." I say and all the guys eyes widen and the room is filled with "YOO" and Hawk's ignorant ass yelling "OHHELLNAAAWOHOHOH."

  "Yo, chill." I snap.

  "Nah. YOU chill with that love shit." Hawk says.

  "I think it's sweet." Cash adds and Hawk throws a pillow at him.

  "I didn't actually tell her I love her. She just kinda assumed and I didn't deny." I say

  "Well" Lamar gets up "Do you love her is the real question" 

  "Yeah, do you?" Cash asks

  I think to myself. I don't fucking understand. How can I be in love? I think about Krissa and how sad she looked tonight and last night then I picture her smile. I imagine her arms hugging me and her soft lips kissing me. I think for a few more minutes that feel like hours and I finally open my mouth.

  "Yeah" I say "I do."

  "Alright then we support you." Cash says.

  "We're your boys yo. We're here for you. If you wanna settle down with Kris then do it! It's your life." Lamar says.

  Settle down? What is that and how do I do it?

  I groan and plop myself on the couch.

  "I can't settle down, man." I sigh.

  "I guess you can say I want to, but I can't. I'm young. I don't wanna be whipped already!" I throw my head back in frustration.

  "Do what you gotta do, but think about Kris. Don't date her if you're gonna hurt her." Cash says and for some odd reason that heats me up.

  "You think I want to hurt her?!" I raise my voice and stand up "I care about her like crazy!"

  "Then don't hurt her. Stop thinking about these other hoes that don't even want you. They're not gonna give you what you're looking for." Lamar says.

  "Yeah, man. These hoes only want the dick. They don't care about anything else." Hawk say.. Idiot.

  I sit back down. I put a pillow on my head. They're so fucking right.

  "How do I stop doing this shit then?" I ask muffled with the pillow on my face.

  "I don't know" Lamar says "you gotta figure that out on your own."

  I sigh "Thanks, man" I say and give Lamar a man hug and dap the rest of the boys.

  I grab my keys off the counter and and open the door.

  "I'll call y'all if anything." I say and they nod.

  I start walking down the stairs and all that is running through my head is the word Love. How can one little 4 lettered word be SO damn complicated?