Lilla (GT)

Maria (17)

He is so clumsy. I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever thought that I would meet someone as clumsy as I am. But I did. And he's a giant prince. So, it's funny. In my head. I guess he's not that bad, minus the whole cannibalism thing (which is a huge thing that's scaring me right now). I walked over the him (well, his head. He was so big that I couldn't be anywhere on the bed without being with twenty feet of him, and the bed is bigger than ten of my houses combined!) and used a forehead third-o-meter (I'm going to call it that for the rest of my life) to check his temperature. He hot. Very hot. One hundred twelve degrees Fahrenheit (forty-four point four in Celsius). That's higher that what it (is supposed) to take to boil water, but I think the mass and gravity of this planet messes up that whole thing, so he's not boiling hot yet. I looked at my phone to check the time: 9:27. I looked up to find Alex curiously staring at my phone.

"Phone." I said slowly and loudly. I meant it be a joke, kind of like when someone asks something obvious and you talk to them like you talk to a baby when you're trying to teach them a new word. Well, he didn't take as a joke.

"Phone?" he asked. I'm gonna laugh. It's just... the way he said it.... He sounded like... like... like a confused child to be honest. I bit my bottom lip in an effort not to laugh, and almost succeeded.

"Did I say it wrong?" he asked earnestly.

"Uh, no, you got it right." I assured him. Then I got the best and most horrible idea ever. I am so mean and this is so malevolent, but I don't care. I HAVE to do this.

"What does it do?" he asked.

I smiled. That question works so well with what I'm about to do. He's gonna hate me for this, and so am I, but I can't not do it.

"It makes lights and sounds." I said slyly. "Here, I'll show you."

I am a very bad person. If you ever meet someone who doesn't know how a phone works, but knows some... other types of technology... don't do this... it's very wrong. That's why I'm doing it for you.

Okay, it's probably not as bad as I made it sound, but... still... don't do this.

I looked up the loudest video of it that I could find, turned the volume all the way up, and played the video of an explosion to someone who doesn't know what a phone is, but definitely knows what an explosion is, and what it sounds like.

Whatever happened next happened fast. First (obviously), he freaked out, which lasted half a second, and then, and this is why I feel really bad about doing this, he put his hand over me so that I had somewhat of a shield, and stayed like that for five seconds. Well, apparently this dude is smarter than I realized because he figured out what I did pretty quickly. Fingers crossed that I don't die. I think how hard I was laughing cancelled that out, though.

He lifted his hand. I expected him to look mad, and instead I got someone who was practically laughing at themselves. I would have gladly been mad. Wait, that didn't make sense. You can't be glad about being mad, can you? You know what, I don't care. I would have been. But he wasn't. He was obviously embarrassed, because his face had gone from its usual pale shade to something with a clear red tinge. He was also giving me that "why you do that to me, man?" look. I like that look. That look makes me happy.

"You are so mean." He informed me.

"Oh, I'm the mean one?" I asked sarcastically. I thought-thought- I would be able to argue that case, but my only evidence is that whole... that thing... and I don't actually have evidence for that either, plus I think he might hurt me if I say that, so, yeah... whoops.

He cocked his eyebrow at me. WHY HE HAVE TO DO THAT?! WHY ANYONE HAVE TO DO THAT?! WHY JESUS LET ANYONE DO THAT?! MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHY CAN'T I DO THAT?! And I'm also out of witty remarks, so I just huffed at him. And I'm not even sure that's thing. But he didn't say anything. He just kept looking at me like that. Ugh. I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.

"Okay, maybe I am the mean one." I finally succumbed to his stare, "But it's nice to know I have protection if there ever was an explosion."

He thought for a moment, then said "Hmm. I don't know about that now." I could tell he was kidding, so I played along and pretended to be offended.

"Ugh! Well I never!"

He laughed. Then said "You mean other than five seconds ago?"

"Oops." I said. Actually, that made me think of something. My phone is about 5 inches, and he's about a gazillion feet tall, yet my phone still scared someone who... actually I don't think he can even see it very well. That amazed me.

Then I started thinking of that terrifying question that was always in the back of my mind: how tall is this dude? (Yes, that is what I'm scared of. Not being eaten, or stepped on, or anything like that, just a simple, probably really big, number... No. Actually, get me out of here. Everything is terrifying) Well. I guess I have two options: ask or don't. Decision: ask. I NEED to know.

"I have a question." I started.

"Okay...?" he prompted.

"How... tall are you?"

"My feet or your feet?" He asked. What?

"Umm, both." I answered. Why not, right?

"Seven and a half feet in my feet and...." He said first, probably because he could remember it better. Also, that's already tall, "fifteen hundred in your feet."

Did he say fifteen hundred? I heard fifteen hundred. Like, as in on thousand five hundred feet tall? Like that tall? Woah.

"Woahsy." I said.

"How tall did you think I was?" he asked.

Um... giants don't get offended if you think they're shorter than they are, right? "Like, a hundred." I answered honestly. He pursed his lips, but not in a "oof you" way. It was more of a "I'm trying not to laugh way".

"You... were a little off." He stated, smiling. His eyes were totally laughing though. It made me blush a little.

"You tall." I said, still a little dazed by his height.

"If you think I'm tall, you should see Andrew, or my dad." He said.

"I have seen them. They are also tall." I responded.

"My dad is two thousand feet tall."

"WHAT?" I accidentally yelled. "HOW YOU DO THAT? WHAT IS HE IN YOUR FEET?"

"He's like, ten feet in our feet. We just... don't stop growing like you do." He answered. "My grandpa's like, fifteen or twenty feet tall in our feet."

The next thing that happened was very.... Weird and out of place. Alex sat up, gave an irritated grunt, took off his shirt, and threw it across the room. That was random. Then he laid back down like nothing happened, and now I'm just confused.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Stupid shirt! It's HOT!" he answered. I guess that made sense. And he's also... with a really elevated temperature. I refuse to call him "hot" because that's not okay (at least I think it isn't) if you're dating someone. I simply won't say that he isn't "hot". No one that I've seen that's like me has the ability to look like that. Like, muscular. Food is too expensive to have that much. Alex was quiet for a couple minutes, and I started to wonder if he had fallen asleep, so I craned my neck to see, but I still wasn't tall enough to see over his arm. He moved a little, then sat back up and- wait, since when was I in his hand. I just realized that I've been in his hand the whole time. That is really weird. I don't remember him picking me up, but okay. I sat still. If he wanted to hold me, I wasn't going to oppose (or climb off. His hand is dangerously close to the edge of the bed) I sat awkwardly waiting for him to lose consciousness, but it didn't happen. He was still sitting up. I decided to use this time to think about existential stuff because... why not? My first (and only) thought was (a realization) that... and don't judge me for this... Alex was human. Yes. Sort of. DON'T JUDGE ME! Seriously, he's just a really, really big human. Like, huge. But, still human, I think. Maybe. Okay, now I'm done thinking. I want down. This boy needs to put me down now. I WANT DOWN.