Let her go

18

It was a day like any other; with Ellie immersed in the usual tedious, passing activities such as reading, listening to music and aimlessly wandering around the back garden. By now, she had fallen into a pattern; a loop with an aching thread of finality, where the days would stretch on into oblivion, copiously interminable regardless of what salvation she tried to find. Until, finally, her freedom would arrive in the embodiment of nightfall.

It may seem elaborate, insane even, but Ellie honestly was, safe to say, addicted to Cassie's company, in such a manner that she actually spent those free hours contemplating on her regardless of the lack of Cassie's presence.

She did not expect, in all her omnipotent selfishness and self-proclaimed positiveness towards their precious conversations that tonight would be the night her wishes receive aid.

Ellie: if you ask me, you'd get along much better with the blond one.

The topic was, as usual, especially after having exerted all prior topics, band members. Particularly, their favorite band and which members would be best suitable for the girls as their romantic interest. It was a sort of game that not only indulged their imagination, but also their confidence and sanity.

Cassie: please. i know for a fact that the red-haired one fits my personality.

Ellie: umm, i know your personality. the blond one's better. the red one seems to have a history of depression and you don't strike me as someone like that.

She had said it on purpose. Their conversation had already evolved from playful to restrained and they had both gone into calculating their answers before sending them. Ellie was deliberately pushing some risky buttons and, as she expressed it, "leaving out the truth in aid of soliciting the truth". She needed it to be out. By now, Cassie had been struggling to keep up and hold onto her walls.

Cassie: i've told you before. you shouldn't pretend to know me.

Ellie: why do you think i don't?

Cassie: we are not going over this again. it's pointless, you have no idea what i've been through.

Ellie: and what do you think i don't know?

Cassie: God, Elle, you are such a pain.

Ellie: nice of you to notice. now spill it, because you know i'm not letting go.

Cassie: sigh, curiosity killed the cat, Ellie, but fine. i sincerely hope you won't regret asking... and i hope i don't regret answering.

Dear diary,

I did it.

Cassidy finally told me her story. Honestly, I'm not an idiot, I knew she was depressed, it couldn't be more obvious. Or maybe it's just obvious to me because I know her well enough to foresee her actions before she commits them. Either way, depression is definitely nothing to take lightly, but I have faith I can help her get through it. Sure, she's tough to deal with, but I got this far, didn't I?

Love,
Ellie