Sparrow: A Novel

Chapter 1

My name is Sparrow. At least, that's what I've often told anyone inquisitive enough to know.

Six-year-old me had neither the concept of a palace or what it meant to keep my identity a secret. In time I learned all about bowing before his and her majesty and how to mask my true feelings. I adapted well on account that I loved her Majesty the Queen as my own mother. Likewise, taking into account that the palace took the place of my birth home when I was only six summers old. I can't really recall much before I came here, but I never cease to find myself pleased with all I have. Even the humble life of a slave afforded me much, and my sunny disposition didn't allow me much room to dwell on things I had no ability to change. I found myself satisfied just as I was. No one owed me a thing more and I dared not think of life outside the one I knew.

What I did not take into account was how my duties— my whole life actually would be jeopardized by me becoming a woman. A process so monumental, yet common made more of a commotion when it happened to me because you see... I am a Eunuch.

It didn't start out this way. Honestly, I should not have ever been one. I didn't fit the criteria but they called me one anyway. It was her majesty's way of protecting me. However, I have not always been one and I wasn't the kind who aids the king and princes. I was in charge of keeping the women. I was the harem eunuch and I never ceased to be grateful that I worked with women, like myself, instead of serving a prince. Maybe you can see why it never really dawned on me that I would be in the way of the women, like every girl that's grown up before me. I never gave it much thought since, let's be honest, I saw females every day, we were all the same and the only thing I really had time to focus on was my duties.

A sand-laden breeze kissed my face as soon as I emerged from the silhouettes of the palace. I relished this time at night when I could venture out into the gardens. A chance to think, to be alone. This time was not allotted to everyone, I knew that. This time was not given to me either— I seized the time. But no one seemed to notice... Ever so gracefully I wafted into the garden making sure to follow the entirety of the path before finding a resting place. Every flower twinkled with dewy splendor. Every leaf, twisted with elegance and the moonlight gleamed, lavishing the entire garden with its pure light. Greater perfection could not be achieved.
I plucked a flower then took a seat in the dirt, not caring about how it would stain my tunic. Here I was not Sparrow as they called me in Hebrew. Here, I was Shalom. A girl of fourteen summers. A girl with dreams big enough to surpass the morning sun. I did not dream because I hoped they'd come true. I dreamed because I could. Because my dreams fueled my life. I was driven by vigor, love and a desire to do what I did well. I felt entrusted with servanthood, who else really made this kingdom go round? We were the tack of life along with food, drink and a place to sleep. I found myself privileged to serve not only a family but the royal family!
Right now, however, I dreamed of dancing with the sun and the stars. Of endowing myself with flowers and running barefoot through meadows. I dreamed of feeling the sunshine on my face and allowing the sounds of nature to lull me to sleep. I dreamed of happiness and a sense of freedom I would never know. My dreams did not leave me discontented. Only with a longing to savor my imaginations. At this moment the feeling I loved was peace... how befitting?

"You're a very strange eunuch. Sometimes I wonder if you were ever male at all." Prince Alexander propped his chin on the heel of his hand, careful to exaggerate the motion in order to show his boredom and displeasure. What was I to do? I tended the women, not the princes. He asked me to entertain him, was song and dance not entertaining enough? "What else would please my lord the prince then?" I asked hoping to sound as innocent as I meant it. "Perhaps you would like—"

"No, no. Continue." He waved his hand. Which was more of a nonchalant flip of his wrist. "Do that thing you did again."
Which thing? I had no idea. So I did everything again. His amusement was unbidden on his face, much to my relief. I was starting to get somewhere. "Micah!" he motioned the servant to come closer. "How good of you to join me." he motioned to me. "Isn't he brilliant?" I bit my lip. I wasn't a he but it was assumed that I was. "I tire of just having you. What if I had two?"