[ITNOL #3] The Promise of Forever (COMPLETED)

Chapter 44

#TPOFWonAgain

A/N: One of my favorite chapters alongside with ITNOL's Chapter 13. Yieeeeeks! Sorry for the grammatical errors and misspelled words. Thank you, enjoy reading!

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"Mmm..."

Did anything happen last night? Did I slept with a stranger? I could recall moments vividly...but then turns out everything was blurry. Naalala kong may humawak sa likuran ko kagabi then boom, wala na akong masyadong naalala. What the hell happened last night? Lakas ng nainom ko kagabi e. Did I pass out big time?

I opened my eyes, blinked it twice for clearer vision. Nasaan ako? Bakit parang...unfamillar tong lugar na to? I couldn't remember someone who could possibly took me here. Si Robin ba nagdala sa'kin dito? Hindi naman siya yung tipo na dadalhin ako sa mga ganitong lugar. I rolled over at the other side of the bed and I cussed and cussed and cussed when I saw who's beside me.

It's Ogie.

I'm here...beside him.

Pero bakit siya andito? Akala ko ba si Robin ang kasama ko kagabi? Why is he here? Ano to, identity crisis? Seryoso? All along, the man who was in my blurry vision was Robin and now turns out it wasn't him pala? Tinutukso ba ako ng tadhana? Did we really share the same bar last night and ended up bumping onto him? Hala, baka kung anong nasabi ko? Putangina, alam na ba niyang anak namin si Nate? May nasabi ba akong hindi maganda? Ano ba, Regine! Gaga ka kasi! This is trouble, literally!

Anong gagawin ko?

Should I run away?

Yes, I think I should.

I was about to get off the bed when he grunted and little did I know that he was holding my hand tightly as he could. Hindi ako makagalaw dahil sa higpit ng pagkakahawak niya sa'kin. Wala akong nagawa kundi manatili sa kamang iyon, kasama siya. I hate to admit but I wish this moment will last forever. I miss him. I miss sharing the same bed with him, I miss waking up early and seeing his face would be the first view I would see, I miss sleeping beside him and sleeping inside his arms. Pero alam ko...matatapos din sa isang iglap ang pangyayaring ito.

I can't help but stare at his sleeping face. He wasn't snoring, he was just sleeping peacefully. I raised my hand and softly caressed his vigorous black hair, playing and tying it on my fingers. My fingers trailed down to his eyes, nose, lips, memorizing every grail of it, because I don't know when will I experience this again. Or probably, never again. The deity just gave me a chance to make things fall in place, pero alam kong babawiin niya pa rin ito sa huli.

Ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko buong buhay ko.

"Ikaw lang...ang tanging mahal ko." I uttered, softly as I can, not to wake him up nor disturb his sleep. A tear escaped from my eye. It feels so right, but all of this is so wrong. We have to accept that we aren't meant to be for each other, regardless of how I love him so much. It hurts. It damn hurts.

I was startled, when I saw his eyes wide open. Teary-eyed, he was saying something I couldn't attain for. "B-bakit sa tuwing nakikita kita...nasasaktan ako? Masakit dito o.." turan niya sa kanyang puso. "B-bakit sa tuwing magkasama tayo, nararamdaman kong tama ang lahat kahit alam nating dalawa na hindi?" his voice cracked in between.

"You heard me..." I smiled at him, suppressing my tears. "Wag mo nalang intindihin yun."

He wiped my tear away. His touch was real electricity in my system. He ended up cupping my face. "Sabihin mo sa akin, Velasquez. Ano ba ang naging papel ko sa buhay mo? Gusto kong malaman. Gusto kong malaman ang lahat. Dahil pagod na pagod na akong tignan ang mga mata mong hindi nagsisinungaling kapag nakikita ako. Pagod na pagod na akong maramdaman ang mga pahiwatig mong hindi ko naman naiintindihan."

"I-I can't tell you." I told him, and it damn sucks the hell out of me. "Ayoko nang guluhin pa ang buhay mo, at alam kong masaya ka na."

I forced myself to stand up at kung ano pa ang masabi ko. I was ready to turn the doorknob when he spoke once more. "I never realized the true happiness not until I met you!"

Napatigil ako sa aking paglalakad. I heard his footsteps behind me as I close my eyes. He hugged me from behind, put his chin on my shoulder as I felt his breath. "Tell me...sabihin mo sa akin lahat lahat dahil nararamdaman ko Regine...nararamdaman kong may namagitan sa atin dati...nararamdaman kong mahal na mahal mo ako, and for the record, I also feel the same way as you."

That's when I started crying.

"I may be incomplete for now...but please, let me love you the same way again as I have loved you before, and maybe more than that. I promise...this time I'll be sweeter. It will be sweeter, my love." he pleaded. "I am sorry for what I have done before...it's my fault...please..."

Mas umiyak ako dahil hindi niya alam ang mga sinasabi niya. Hindi niya alam ang pinakastupidang desisyon na nagawa ng sarili mong asawa, Ogie. Hindi mo kasalanan dahil ako ang nagkamali, mahal ko. The mistake was all coming back to me like a flash scenery, making me realize more that I shouldn't love him anymore...because I don't deserve him. He doesn't deserve a coward wife. He doesn't deserve a woman like me which would leave him in exchange for her career. But his plea...makes me want to turn my decision upside down.

"Help me remember. Make me remember the things I have to remember." I could hear his breathing which makes my hairs stand all by itself. Nakakainis dahil malakas ang nagiging epekto ng presensya niya sa buong katawan ko. And I hate it. I hate it for being so defenseless when I am with him.

"Paano si Zsazsa?" I whispered. Getting ready to back fire and return my voice once again, I sniffed and wiped my tears away before turning around to look upon my husband. I was about to speak when he ravished my lips and pressed it against mine. "Ogie I- stop- wait-"

He parted our lips, with our foreheads pressed within each other. "Tell me you love me."

"I don't-"

"You don't?" he asked me for a conclusion.

"It's not that-"

"So you do?" he further queued.

"Herminio Jose-"

"You even know my full name, it's sounds so damn sexy when you say it that way." he jested. "Now tell me the truth. Tell me you still love me and if not, then I'll let you go this time. Hindi na kita pipilitin pa...at hindi na ako magpaparamdam sa'yo."

Should I let my guards down this time? Kailangan bang umamin na ako sa totoo kong nararamdaman para sa kanya? Should I set aside my fears and doubts and think about it later? Should I just think about being with him rather than being problematic about things? Kahit natatakot ako kapag sa oras na malaman niya ang totoo, sa oras na maalala niya ang lahat lahat tungkol sa kanyang pagkatao. Siguro naman ay natuto na ako sa mga pagkakamali ko noon. Siguro naman tataya na ako. Siguro naman oras na para hindi matakot magmahal ulit...sa taong ilang beses ko nang minahal at paulit-ulit ko pang mamahalin.

"I'm willing to take the risk of falling in love with you again. Dahil simula't sapul...una kang naging akin, Alcasid. Kahit mahirap, kahit masakit." I replied.

He triumphantly smiled at me and got back to his buisness, which is owning my innocence once again.