Love, Kali

Day 8

December 25, 2019

Hey Diary!

It's Christmaaaas! Kanina namasko ako HAHAHA never that old para manguha ng aguinaldo at pamasko. Hindi ko pa nakakausap si Klix busy din ata e, hinayaan ko muna. Kaninang umaga wala naman akong masyadong ginawa bukod sa maglibot para sa pamasko, hindi ko rin nahawakan yun phone ko so ayun. 

Diary HAHAHA you know what? Im smelling something, somethings wrong between me and Rex. Alam mo yung feeling na dapat makipag break na ko? I ask Kalog Fam about this and sinabi ko sa kanila lahat. I didn't expect na magiging ganoon reaksyon ni Sid, hindi kami close masyado pero sobra yung concern and galit na nakita ko sa mga messages nya and payo nya sakin. Rheam, Vhal and Yuri was there pero may hinihintay ako kasi I know sa kanya lang ako susunod. I know sya lang yung go signal ko.

Nagchat na si Rex, we've talked about somethings, about us and our relationship. Both of us, we lot our way kung paano isasalba yung relationship naming sumuko na samin. We decided to end it, like that. It's mutual diary, God knows how this fucking hurts me. Wala akong matakbuhan kundi ang Kalog kaya sa kanila ako nag rant. Just right on time Klix came and I know he'll be furious about this. My guess were right and sobrang naparanoid na naman sya. I really don't know with this man kung bakit ganito sya. 

Inatake ako ng asthma dahil dito, I thought katapusan ko na yun kasi sa lahat ng attacks ko eto yung nakakatakot kasi wala akong inhaler. Klix went outside para lang paload-an ako and the fuck?! inaway ko sya syempre hindi ko hahayaan na lumabas sya ng ganoong oras, konsensya ko pa pag naaksidente sya but one thing makes my heart beats faster than before. 

"I won't let you suffer with that fucking asthma"

Sobrang nagulat ako, simple lang yan pero may dating sakin. Pinagsawalang bahala ko na lang and pinilit ko syang umuwi na lang ulit. God! He's so mad. Hindi ko alam paano sya kakalmahin sa mga panahong kailangan ko rin pakalmahin ang puso ko. He lend me his time para makapag rant ako kahit na nagiinom sila still binigay nya pa rin sakin yung oppurtunity para makapag rant. 

Okay na ko, magaan na pakiramdam ko sa tingin ko kailangan ko munang magpahinga dito sa mundong to. Sabi ko kay Klix sasabay ako umalis, hindi naman for good. Masyado akong nasaktan dito kaya I want some rest. I thanked Sid that night through pm pati si Klix nag thank you na ko kasi gusto ko na matulog. So many tears were shed. 

Pinigil ako ni Klix and I asked him why noong una ayaw pa magsabi pero napilit ko rin. He lend me a new port balak ko rin mag iba kasi naka-couple dp ako kay Rex non. One of his following messages right after he send the picture were this

"Parang pareho tayo dun sa una pero nevermind"

Sumingkit lalo mata ko rito pero hindi ako maissue na tao. Sabi ko na lang na yung first pic yung kukunin ko, after that hindi ko na inexpect yung sumunod. He let me use he's surname and he even gave me a new name. Kali Del Rion. A new name for a new me I guess. But still using he's surname feels something different. I shrugged my shoulders and just accept the offer tutal bagay naman sakin e. 

Right after kong machange lahat lahat ng kailangan baguhin his last message gives me chill. 

"Now sleep you stubborn baby"

Being called a baby kahit stubborn baby yun and knowing na mula sa kanya, I really don't know. Dahil ata to sa mga sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon. I close my eyes and imagine na darating ang araw na magiging okay na lahat. 

Na masaya na ko, talaga. 

Love, Kali