Lucifer

Chapter 13

I ran to Lucifer's room. By now I knew the way. The past few months here in the house with them and I finally knew my way around. I knocked hard on the door, not really knowing what I was doing, but knowing that I wanted to run from what Abraxis had done.

I didn't want anymore of the threats. I could always feel him watching me, willing me to step slightly out of line for him to take his chance.

Lucifer opened the door quickly, trying to figure out what danger was lurking beyond his door. He blinked as he took me in. I was wearing a tank top and shorts, with a white silk robe that was open and had fallen to my elbows in my rush to get over to his room.

It was the middle of the night.

"What's going on?" He asked, scanning me for any sign of injury or danger. When he found nothing he just looked confused.

"Can I come in?" I asked quickly, picking at my fingers. The constant presence Abraxis had in my chest revolted at what I was doing.

Lucifer stepped to the side, allowing me into his room. It was exactly the way I remembered it from my first few nights here, all black and red. What I hadn't realized during that time, though, was the careful thought he had put into everything in his room.

It all had a purpose, even the decorations. They reminded him of something. Of better times. Things had gotten so confusing lately.

I began pacing back and forth. What had I come here for? I knew I wanted to escape, to forget the fear and pressures of everything.

Lucifer was about to say something when I asked, "Do you have anything to drink?"

He walked over a cabinet, about to get me some water, when I said, "No, I mean alcoholic."

He raised his eyebrows, but began pouring two drinks from a decanter. The liquid was a dark brown.

I wordlessly took the glass from him, sipping it. I hadn't drank anything since that night at the club. I had avoided it, not wanting to lose my senses. Even when I hadn't realized it, when I had thought that I was relaxed, I was still on guard.

God, it tasted awful. I knew my face was contorted as I swallowed the drink, it burned the whole way down. Lucifer chuckled as he sipped from his own glass.

He was a respectful distance away, like he had always been since we had talked in the infirmary room. Everyone was just trying to take what they wanted from me, but not him. Even Divaolo was just using me.

I shook my head at the thought, still pacing, gripping the cup tightly in my hands. " I can always feel this presence in my mind and chest. I know it's Abraxis. He's always trying to get me to come out to him. He's always here, pressuring me, threatening me," I began, my words trembling and coming out fast. I felt manic.

"Everyone is always expecting things from me, or trying to take it by force. I don't have any answers. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know what I am."

Lucifer stepped toward me, worried. "Isabel, are you okay? What are you saying?"

I took another sip. I honestly didn't even know what I was saying. I was out of guesses, just word vomiting everything that had become so pent up over the last few months.

My hands were shaking as I grasped the glass tighter. I looked at him intently, searching for something- anything- that might tell me what I should do. The pulling in my chest was more insistent than ever.

"I don't know. I don't even know that," I said, then finished off the liquid in my cup, making a horrible noise and face as I swallowed.

Lucifer approached me fully now, putting his hands on either side of my shoulders. He was worried about me. This was the closest we had been in weeks. "Isabel, tell me what's going on," it was an order, but a soft one, almost pleading.