Life after Chuck.

Chick flick moment

Later that day Cas and Dean headed outside. They walked out into the woods not far from bunker untill they found a small clearing.

"Here can work." Cas said looking around at the space.

"Alright Obi Wan teach me how to use the force." Dean chuckled.

"What?" Cas tilted his head to the side. Why did Dean find that cute? He shook off the feeling as quickly as it came.

"Nothing man. Let's get this show on the road." Dean waved his arms for Cas to start.

"We should start with control. Because the powers work on instinct, they are also affected by your emotions as well. Demons not having souls don't normally have all the types of humans emotions so we should focus on that for now. Since you have a lot more feeling then a normal demon."

"You want to work on my emotions? Me? Cas man come on. You know that's not going to happen we might as well stop now." Dean turned to walk away.

"Dean your eyes go black when you get mad. You don't notice it half the time. What happens when you get to pissed off and can't calm down?"

"You know what-" Dean turned back around to Cas pointing a finger in his face. Cas wasn't wrong, Dean's eyes were black already. That little call out set him off just enough.

"You don't even realise it now do you." Cas butted in.

Dean stopped for a second and focus. Now that he stopped he could feel that his eyes were black. He's shook his head hard and squeezed his eye shut. When he felt them shift back he stopped but he still didn't look up at Cas.

"I'm sorry I di-" Cas had interrupted him again by walking up to him and putting his hands on either side of Dean's face. Cas pulled Dean's face up to force him to look back at him.

"You don't need to freak out and look away from me when that happens Dean." Cas had such sorrow in his eyes. Dean didn't realize he starting holding in his breath when Cas got so close.

"I don't want to freak you out with my black fucking demon eyes." Dean was slightly shaking.

"Black or green they are still your eyes. You're still you." Cas hands where still on Dean's face. A tear had rolled down Dean's face and Cas slowly wiped it away with his thumb.

"Fuck." Dean pulled away and roughly wiped at his eyes.

"Dean. Dean stop." Cas pulled Dean's arms away from his face and hugged him.

Dean tensed up at first but eventually melted into Cas's arms. He let his walls down and cried. Really truly full heartedly cried. He never did shit like this. He always kept shit bottled up untill he burst in a fit of rage or when Sammy would finally break him down over months of trying. But for some reason in this moment with Cas he felt he could do this. He trusted Cas with his emotions in a way he never trusted anyone before.

The way Cas didn't care about his demon eyes really struck something in Dean. Dean knew when it happen around Sam because he could see the fear in his face. But now that he's thinking about it he could never remember seeing Cas react to him the way Sam did. He never knew if his demon eyes where out around Cas when he got angry because Cas didn't react to him. And if the powers work like he's saying they do then Cas must have seen his demon eyes a lot. And he never once looked at Dean with fear or just looked away all together.  Cas just seen Dean. Nothing more nothing less. And this realization was hitting him like a ton of brick.

"Don't you dare tell Sam about any of this." Dean said still holding on to Cas. Cas's hand had found its way into Dean's hair and he was playing with it to help calm him. Dean was surprised he let himself stay with Cas like that for as long as he did. But he needed this. He needed affection. He needed to be comforted. It's been years since he just let someone hold him like this. He hasn't even hugged Sammy much the past few years. Jack was the only person Dean was willing to hug lately and this was just different then that. He needed this and Cas was happy to be the one there for him.

Dean felt safe. Not in like a physical way, he could take care of himself. But in an emotional way. Cas didn't judge his emotions. He also didn't need to worry about putting on a brave face for Cas simply for the fact that Cas can read Dean like an open book, so there's no real point to hide his pain or worry.

His pain. His anger. His fear. His sorrow. These were things Dean felt safe to share with Cas. More intimate emotions not so much. Not that he didn't feel like it was safe to but it was he didn't know what he felt. He tried not to think about that and when he did it made his head spin.

The "profound bond" that Cas use to talk about all the time has been going through Dean's head a lot. Cas was his best friend. Aside from Sam of course. But things always felt more then just friends with Cas. For years Dean played it off as Cas was part of the family. That's what he said it was nothing else. But he knew in the back of his mind that wasn't it either and recently and especially in this moment it was bugging him.

It almost felt like his feelings he had with Lisa but a bit different. But how could this be like that in any way? It couldn't. Dean dug chicks. Not dicks. As he was thinking this a memory popped in his head. Cas use to always say angels didn't have genders. Cas's vessel had a gender obviously but he wasn't his vessel. It was just a meat suit. Cas the angel was just that, an angel. He started getting a head ache thinking about all of this. To many emotions for him in one day. He finally pulled away from Cas.

"I get what your saying about the powers being connected to my emotions but I let enough out today. I need to bottle that shit back up." Dean sighed running his hand through his hair. The thought of how Cas was just playing with his hair danced a crossed his vision and he started to blush.

"Want to try again tomorrow?" Cas asked. He didn't want to push Dean but he also knew that when Sam got home Dean wouldn't want to be messing around with any of this.

"Yeah Cas. Come on I need a beer. No more chick flick moments tonight okay?" They started to walk back to the bunker.