The Mystery Replacement

Chapter 5

"you're a mystery, you know that right" Alex says out of nowhere as we're lying on our hotel beds

"oh I know, it's how I like it to be" I say getting back to the reading I was doing.

"you've still got some tells about you though," Alex says making my head turn to look at her in interest

"tells? What do you mean" I ask curiously

"little clues that tell me about you," She says

"and what have you figured out about me from these little clues?" I say smirking

"well you flinch ever so slightly when a man comes up to you making me think you've got a bad experience with them in the past, Jill knows you from when you were very little as she's got a motherly instinct when she's around you, you rarely call anyone by their first name and always ma'am or sir if you don't know them making me think you were either in the military or some sort of training but after remembering that you don't have parents and were never adopted I assume you were raised in foster care and they must have been strict enough for you to call them ma'am or sir" Alex finishes explaining. I just stare at her in shock, not believing she's got all that from the way I speak and act.

"Toni, you okay?" Alex asks snapping me out my trance, I jump out my bed and stumble to the door feeling my breath becoming harder and harder to catch

"Toni!" Alex shouts as I walk out the door and run the best of my ability to the elevator. I quickly close the door and press Jills floor trying to find the right button since my visions incredibly blurry right now.

I feel the lift starting to move, making me lose my balance and slump against the side of the wall. I do my best to do the breathing exercises I've learnt over the years but nothing seems to be doing the trick.

Just as in about to give up the doors open and I can hear voices coming my way.

"Make sure you've got the statistics of Thailand and the- Toni! Jesus" Jill says having spotted me in the lift panting for breath.

She drops her stuff and kneels down to my level taking ahold of my hands in hers.

"she's having a panic attack, get me the headphones from my room now!" Jill shouts as she cradles my body into hers

"come on Toni, listen to my breathing and try to match it okay," Jill tells me, I try my best but my minds still flowing with everything Alex told me. I feel something being placed over my ears and music starting to be played.

It's the same song Jill showed me when I was 12 and had my first panic attack in front of her, it was what helped calm me down. I close my eyes and focus on the soft piano music forgetting about my breathing or Alex for a minute. I let my body relax into Jills as I wait for the song to end.

I open my eyes and see I'm still inside the elevator but we seem to be on a different floor because Alex is now standing in the doors.

"Alex can you go, I'll speak to you in a sec" Jill says and Alex nods her head but not before giving me a worried glance. I feel Jill slide the headphones off my head and wrap me up tighter.

"you are okay now, it's over, you'll be okay" Jill whispers as I start to cry. She rocks me back and forth on the floor as I let all the tears flow out.