Fix You (Zayn Malik Fanfiction)

Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine FYZM

•Skylar•

"I'm sorry Zayn, I don't know what to do.." I whispered, clutching my hands together as little beads of sweat dripped from my forehead. His held his stomach in excruciating agony, his eyes clenched together. Tears were staining and sticking to his soft cheeks, a small stubble growing on his unshaved chin. "Please.. Call Liam." He opened his beautiful chocolate orbs, directing his gaze towards the phone that sat on the table. I shook my head, refusing to ruin the concert. My eyes darted to his, as I suddenly got trapped into them, fascinated by the chocolate orbs that I fell in love with.. The one's I would stare into while we sat at the dinner table, the one's I would think about, the one's that were the last thing I'd see before I fell asleep. So many memories, so many tears, so many thoughts..

"I can't ruin the concert. I could give you some Advil and maybe Tylenol?" I suggested, tearing my gaze away from his, a tear slipping from my eye as it fell onto the cold tile of the flooring, splattering into a small puddle. I wiped my cheek quickly with my wrist, a small sob coming from my mouth. It was hard. It was unbearably hard to even look at him. To even be in his presence is painful. I can't look at him for over 5 seconds without tears slipping from my eyes and memories flushing back into my mind.

After Zayn left, My sister and brother and anyone else for that matter, didn't understand or know what I was feeling. They thought it was just some rubbish heartbreak, and I would soon get over it. Truth is, It wasn't just 'some' heartbreak. It was a heart wrenching, unbearable, terrible, horrible, unbelievable, excruciating, painful, indescribable heartbreak, That I really couldn't contain or hold my feelings in for. I lost him, and it was so hard to let the fact that he wasn't coming back sink into my head. It was so hard to sit in my bedroom, pictures of Zayn and I surrounding me, a box of tissues, and only thoughts and memories that I had left.. It hurt.. So much. People thought that I was going to get over it, that I would fall in love again, and eventually forget about Zayn. But that was a lie. I never got over it, Instead, Here I am, dreading the fact of standing here, completely broken, infront of the person I've loved with everything in me. I hadn't fallen in love in 2 years, and I'm completely sure I hadn't ever fallen out of it.. And honestly, I'd never forget about Zayn if my life depended on it.

Falling in love isn't what it is in the movies, its the exact opposite. I thought I was living in a fairytale movie, expecting the day when I would soon float back to reality. And I did, But only in the most unexpected way possible.

"Stay with me.." He whispered, his voice muffled from the pillow that was stuffed into his pale face. His eyelashes began to dry, while his voice sounded raw and dry. His hands clenched the pillow tighter, his knuckles becoming white from the pressure he was putting on them. My stomach flipped, my hands froze, and I swear I could feel my breathing hitch. I blinked several times, trying to figure out if this was just a dream or reality.. I licked my lips, that were becoming dry every five seconds. "I..I C-Can't. " I choked, finding it hard to swallow the saliva in my mouth and finding it hard to find air. I built my walls for a reason, and I don't want them to come tumbling down. Zayn lifted his head from his pillow, his eyes coming in contact with my blue one's once again, tears brimming his fading brown orbs. I couldn't feel anything, I only felt the numbness of my body. "Please.." He pleaded, a small whimper escaping his lips as he grinded his teeth together. Without any preparation, my feet stumbled towards his bunk, pulling myself ontop of it and falling next to Zayn..

What am I doing?

•Zayn•

I wrapped my arms around her, hesitantly. I felt as if I had to be careful, careful not to chase her away. I had to be careful, not to break her and make her change her stubborn but outrageous mind. I felt my stomach burst with excitement and anticipation at the thought of having her in my arms again, feeling a small huddle of butterflies in the pit of my empty stomach. My face was flushed and pale, and I felt as if I got out of this hard bed, I would tumble down to the floor. Her body was so cold, as her arms began to form goosebumps. My body was too warm for my liking, But having her here seemed like all my pain was going away.. She stayed still, almost like a rock as my arms tucked under her cold body. Her hair was in a wacky bun, some curls hanging loosely at the sides. Her face was makeup free, and I felt as if she looked just as beautiful without makeup as she did with it. Her small curves and flat stomach laid straight on my bunk, the tinted darkness was surrounding us. It was just like old times, and in my case, I felt as if I had my heart back. Reality check, I didn't. It was still lost. "Please.. Don't." She whispered, her feint voice cracking. Her breath hitched as I pulled my arm away from her quickly. I flinched at her words, my stomach becoming tied in knots at her demand.. I felt my stomach twist and the feeling I once had with her, vanish. Everything in my mind disappeared.. "Please.. Just let me hold you.." I murmured, my voice barely audible. I felt like I was holding my heart in my hands, but that couldn't be it. I'd lost it a long time ago.