Stars Don't Name Themselves

Chapter 1: Home

     Angelie sighed as she smoothed the sheets of her newly made bed, the pattern begging for her attention. It was just a simple pattern, with no need for extra observation: black plus signs speckled on a barely beige background. But it reminded her of Mary. Hell, everything nowadays reminded her of Mary, to the point where she couldn't enjoy her favorite things anymore, where she was almost starving herself of joy.

     She laid down on the bed, testing it. It was quite different from what she once had, the mattress firmer and stiff, and she shifted around uncomfortably. They had gotten new furniture to replace their past possessions (to fit the theme of their "new life"), and even though Angelie supported that idea, she still wasn't used to anything.

     She had to close her eyes; she couldn't bare to look at that blank ceiling. She also tried to calm her ragged breaths and think clearly, although her control seemed to have no effect. She felt a wave of nostalgia wash over her, and she let herself sink into the memory for once. Mary's features flashed through Angelie's mind: her face and her hair, that dress she wore one time, the feeling of their hands laced together.

     "Angelie? I'm coming in," Angelie's mother knocked on the door, and after a second opened it tentatively. Angelie sat up quickly in her startled state, the heat rising to her cheeks revealing her embarrassment. Her mother was slow to explain what the reason for her intrusion was, just quietly entered the room.

     "I just wanted to tell you," she cleared her throat, "that you're starting your first day of school tomorrow!" she smiled and gestured excitedly, although a part of it seemed forced. Angelie smiled weakly back at her, trying to convey any sliver of excitement she could. Her mother returned it, although Angelie knew what she was really feeling: she could recognize the sorrow and worry in that familiar smile. She was desperate to protect her child from any more hurt, but was barely able to do anything about the hurt.

     After her mother left, Angelie flopped back down on her bed sighing in exasperation. She wasn't excited at all for the next day. But she knew she asked for it - this was what happened when you got a new life. 

     The weight of everything held her down like water: she was supposed to be able to swim but the water was pitch black and deep, and she was running out of air as she tried to figure out which direction was up. She tried to swallow her heavy feelings down; she really didn't want to cry right now. So she laid there, reminiscing about Mary for the one and only time she would let herself do so.

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     "We're gonna have to go soon if we want to be there before sunset," Mary said monotonously, typing away on her phone. She was posting about her favorite book, The Phases of the Stars, on social media; so like her.

     "Yeah, almost done," Angelie responded, quickly replying to Mary's post on her laptop. They were relaxing in Angelie's room like they always were, but they had planned to go on a sunset picnic at the edge of the meadow. 

     Angelie couldn't help noticing how good Mary looked for the small event: her short, curly hair resting perfectly, the strong lipstick and eye-shadow, a midnight blue top with leggings to match. Mary was always like this; confident and stylish, smart and pretty, and Angelie loved her for it.

     They left after a bit, saying goodbye to Angelie's mom and starting down the road to the small woods. They walked and talked, Mary pointing to different things in the trees with one hand while holding their picnic basket in the other. Angelie really wanted to take her hand then. 

     They eventually made it to the end of the woods, coming into a clear meadow. They set down their picnic blanket and sat, Mary surveying the contents of their basket.

     "So, we got mini pies, sandwiches, oranges," Mary shook their metal water bottles, "and a little bit of alcohol." 

     "Thank God, you remembered," Angelie teased her, smiling as she grabbed her water bottle. Mary laughed and set their food on the blanket along with some napkins, and they dug in. Angelie chose a pie (cherry, her favorite flavor), while Mary got started on a sandwich. They talked and joked, sinking into the familiarity of their friendship. 

     Just after a short time, Angelie was already done with her pie even though Mary was only halfway with her sandwich. Mary chuckled at her ravenous behavior and the obvious mark of red filling on the corner of her mouth. She then took a napkin and tentatively reached forward to wipe it off; Angelie never felt her heart beat so fast, and she was pretty sure Mary's was working at a furious pace as well. It was such a short moment, but seemed to last a lifetime.

     "Look, we did make it in time for the sunset," Mary said quickly, tossing the napkin down and motioning to the sky. The sun was setting, it's fiery color bleeding through the trees in streaks. Angelie looked as well, but her eyes lingered on Mary; she was perfectly outlined in the dying light, her skin shimmering gold.

Angelie would remember this moment forever.

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Hi everybody, welcome back to SDNT!

I'm so unbelievably happy about how this book is starting out, especially since I found out it got ranked in several categories:

this book is currently #383 in "journey", #223  in "acceptance", #184 in "newlife", and #16 in "sadpast"!!!

And thank you so much to the 18 readers I've had so far, and possibly more to come (also the 3 stars). It makes me so happy that I've gotten to share my work and people have actually read it :)

Anyway, see you on 2/1/2020

~JAPEGB