Lagneía

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Lust

"Lust is a lovely word and makes love

so much more interesting."

- Michael Faudet

11 May 2020, 5.09 pm

The officer had lost his will to impose an image on the boys outside the concrete wall his back faced. No, he had not given up in solving this case the government had allocated to him, announcing ceremonially he was the only one qualified for this unusual job. He had been able to guess their intentions since he was not one to be fooled easily, not even by the government itself which was probably why he had to take this case in the first place, in truth, their reason was not solemnly at all. They had not wanted their free time to be occupied by seven men, supposedly being the seven deadly sins, pushing off this task on someone else. If the officer was honest, there probably was not one single person working there that would have been capable of doing so. Of course, he had never felt the intention to state his thoughts and he did not plan to do so in the future, knowing very well what that kind of action could cause. He remembered vividly how his predecessor had lost his job because of such incident. He was sure everyone working at the police station remembered, even though no one dared to speak about it, practically it was kept in deadly silence.

At first, he had not been keen about having to interrogate the sins, being superstitious as he was, believing in every single detail he had read, including "Dante's divine comedy", but soon he had to change his beliefs. Being proven wrong, his mind trailed off to different explanations of what their original purpose had been, causing him to remind a quote about lust he had read long ago. He was surprised at himself that he did not forget about it. He found himself being proud of it, demonstrating the skills that had made his career possible for him, not that he was being vain, but he could not deny he was being proud. Perhaps he finally had internalized the conversation he had at the beginning of his shift with Kim Seokjin.

Anyways, he had made up his mind to the belief that Kim Taehyung would convince him that he was not lust, but love instead, if he was honest, Taehyung did not even need to convince him as he already had realized the true value behind him. Prepared for his next conversation, the officer got up, for the first time today, to open the door himself instead of letting the job be done by one of his coworkers. He was being eager to open the door himself and as he did so, he immediately got faced by the person he was looking for. At first, he found himself lost in his brown eyes that seemed to be glowing. He would go even further and say they were burning with so many emotions and passion, he was sure he would always remember them. A thought crossed his mind about how Dante must have seen the same, interpreting them as flames, perhaps that is why Dante had developed the idea that lustfulness would be punished with fire and brimstone in hell because he had taken a look into the man's eyes and had found himself lost in them, just as te officer did right at this moment. He must have noticed, of course he had, the officer had been staring at him for quite some time already, the created silence finally got interrupted by Taehyung, clearing his throat, forcing the officer to snap out of his thoughts, checking out the rest of his face and body, letting his gaze trail down from his semitransparent shirt, over his trousers to his blue shoes and back to his face, finally inviting his counterpart inside.

After both had taken a seat, Taehyung began to speak. "I know what effect my eyes have on others, but I have to ask you for a favour. Please try to not stare at me that much, especially since I know that you are privy to the fact that I have a boyfriend who's sitting right in front of this room here.". The officer replied immediately. "I did not intent staring at you, I just found myself interested in the colour of your eyes.", he stated honestly, "Please excuse my unprofessionalism. I suspect Min Yoongi would agree that they look quite ordinary.". Taehyung's expression turned into confusion that lasted until he understood what the officer had just told him. "Oh no, Yoongi isn't my boyfriend.", he explained, "you haven't met him yet.". The officer's face went bright red, the hurried conclusion he just spoke out made him being embarrassed since he usually was not this thoughtless. For the second time in only a period of not even one minute, he had to apologize to Taehyung who did not seem to be bothered about it at all, accepting it with only a small nod.

"Back to the topic", the officer quickly changed the subject to avoid further embarrassment from his side, "I already know you're not a sin. I want to hear your point of view as well as I did hear your friends before you.". The officer felt the urgent need to impress the person in front of him, he did not know whether he wanted him to like him or make up for his little mistakes, to regain his pride he began to speak again. "I think you will tell me that you got named wrong. That you aren't lust, but love instead right?". It was obvious he had not learned from his previous mistakes as soon as Taehyung replied to his statement, making the officer's head to drop down in shame, but quickly looking up again, not wanting to miss a single word from the other man. "I'm sorry to disappoint you again, but you are wrong. I guess I have to explain my words to you know. It is quite difficult to word it, so I'm cheating here and will quote a short poem that describes my personality perfectly.

Love and lust

'Its not love,

its not lust,

it is the Art inside'

Do not ask me who said it, I don't know and if I ever have known about the author, I did forget about them a long time ago. What I know is that I sound pretty egocentric describing myself this way, but let me tell you that I couldn't find a better way to do so. I'm not an object that can be labeled by some noun. You cannot define me by using only one single word. I represent a feeling and feelings cannot be forced into words. I am what you feel when you look at the love of your life. I am what you feel when you impatiently wait for your favourite food to arrive, the excitement you experience when seeing your pet, the feeling of coming home after a long day of work, when your children tell you they love you when you win the lottery and the feeling you get when sitting inside, listening to the rain outside. I am all of this and much more. 'Love' is such a big word but doesn't tell you anything, the same goes for 'Lust'. That's why I'm none of those, I'm myself and I'm every good feeling you've ever felt and will feel. Tha's why people love me, but at the same time, they don't quite understand, leading them to hate me for not getting everything they want, for not experiencing those feelings and especially for not understanding my real purpose. What they don't know is that they cannot understand me. I cannot be described, therefore you can't talk all knowingly about me. I think it's best to give in to their feelings and don't question them any further, to just accept them the way they are, even if it's hard at the beginning. I hope I could help you a bit officer. I don't expect you to completely understand what I just said, but still, I think you can comprehend my explanation."

The officer was speechless. All he could do was nod in agreement, being this flashed he definitely had not expected, but he now knew that he could not even have been right about Kim Taehyung in the first place, he had to accept that as he had just been told. And somehow it made sense. He watched in awe as Taehyung left the room with a small nod towards the officer, being impressed by what he had learned in this short amount of time. He was sure he would never forget about it, he thought to himself as his eyes wandered to the clock. Suprised he had to realize that the conversation took way longer than he had expected.

Current time: 6.10 pm

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