Marcello: Sorry if the updates are taking too long. Author has been masturbating a lot recently. Oh and happy valentines day, even though it may not be valentines day in your timezone!
I was laying down on a chair ( wtf?) in one of the researcher's offices during the breach clicking on random things I find on the computer. The desktop wasn't anything interesting, a few sticky-notes with unreadable handwriting written across it and a mousepad with ketchup stains all over it were the only interesting items there.
After a while, I find this website called Reddit. "Interesting," I say to myself. I began searching through this Reddit thing until I find something called "SCP PORN". Is this short for Scp popcorn? Better click to find out!
I click on the SCP porn an- HOLY GUACAMOLE WHAT DID I JUST SEE! And if almost on cue, my boyfie was summoned from the floor. "Hey C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁ how are ya?" I was too horrified to answer.
Marcello: Author, I don't think anyone will get it.
I was desperately trying to hide from that thing. Larry looked at the computer and became enraged. What did he see on the screen that made him look so furious? I can see him typing angrily on the keyboard. Hopefully, he is just searching for a popcorn recipe.
After a few Looking back at my boyfriend I see him snap his fingers and proceed to press the keys whilst singing what he was typing.
Marcello: Psst here's the song if you haven't heard of it before -https://youtu.be/NsZMbs5PC64
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?
I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target.
I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.
The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.
If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.
You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Is he serious!? I mean, considering his face, he's serious.
Blue: Marci, did you tell the whole internet I was masturbating!?
Marcello: I mean, you weren't exactly productive for-
Blue: * Whispers to Marcello as to what masturbating means*
Marcello: * Shocked in Spanish*
Blue: * Clears throat * Sorry over there, Marcello actually meant to say "procrastinating". Sorry for the cringe.
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SCP One Shots
FanfictionI do most kinds of one-shots. Reader inserts, Songfics, Musicalfics and others. Keep in mind that the Ocs and most of the art used is not mine but belong to my cousin. I don't know who the original artist of the cover is but if you could send a link...
