Diary Entry #25

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She Felt Hollow. She Wanted To Chase The Light But It Left Her Wounded. She Felt Too Conscious Of Herself. She Had Many Layers Hoping That Some Of Her Layers Would Remain Hidden. Though How Could One Conceal, If The People Around Them Decide To Barge In & Tear The Layers She So Wished To Hide Resulted Herself To Be Covered In Cuts & Wounds Dripping In Their Pool Of Blood. How Could She Ever Feel At Ease If What She Tried To Bury Was To Resurface.

She Just Wanted To Feel Normal. Wanted To Feel Found. Her Years Went By But She Never Really Found Herself To Grow Out Her Skin. She Felt Plain. Boring. Someone Who Would Always Belong At The Back Of People's Minds. It Was Suffocating. It Was Messy Just Like All Her Physical Attributes In Her Everyday Life, Wholly Reflecting Her Mental State. B R O K E N.

She's Still Trying To Find A Cause. Trying To Find A Purpose. Something To Complete Her Puzzle. A Feeling She Longed Since She Breathed Existence But I Guess Sometimes You Just Have To Be Patient. 

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"At that time, we were so tired
While looking up at those stars in the sky, too far out of reach
You at that time, didn't believe in galaxies
But I saw it, a silver galaxy
It would have hurt, it would have been so tiring
Because I ran towards the endless light

The tingling sun and that summer's air
The grey-lit streets' sounds that were so cold
I draw in a breath and knock at your door
We gon' change 

Now I wish we would smile more
It will be okay, because today's me is doing fine
Yesterday's you, now it's all clear
I want to hug the many thorns in the rose that used to sprout
The smiling kid, the child who used to just laugh brightly
When I see you like that, I keep laughing"

                                                                                       ~Inner Child, BTS Taehyung


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