La Pluie

La Pluie - P5

"So, let's see it. Everything there is to see in this town. Show me it all." He continued as the rainy stroll pushed on.

"Well..." you began still feeling incredibly nervous though the longer the walk went on the easier it was to start enjoying yourself. "There really isn't much to see at all. This town is pretty depressed. I do wish I had something interesting to show you."

"Hmm that's a pity it really is. However, you could show me where you live?" he asked nonchalantly.

"W-where I live?" you repeated unsure if you had heard him correctly over the sound of the rain and the wind.

Just as you were beginning to calm down and enjoy this small fantasy in a depressed town, nervousness took its place once again. The mention of your home – your private comfortable space – somehow made the situation all the more serious. Your mind raced with what this could possibly mean though with each scenario it ended the same way.

"Yes your home. You know..." he began. "There's a lot to be said about someone from what they keep in their home. The company they keep. The food they eat."

He was completely right. Almost every single detail about you as a person and your life could be told from physical items and people before even uttering a word. The contents in your small home had been collected throughout your years alive from things passed down by your parents to small trinkets that were for sale from the occasional traveler. In this moment, for some reason, you couldn't remember exactly what was in your home besides the bed but even the choice of blankets remained lost.

The lack of food in your home could also be considered alarming. On most days, except for when the rain was painful, you had all of your meals at the tavern as things were already prepared and they were free. Wine and fresh water was present in your living space of course as you often woke up in the middle of the night desperate from something to drink.

As far as the company you kept – what company did you keep? The sleepy tavern owner who was rarely around? Yolanda who had many years on you and spent the extreme majority of her time working where the owner slacked? Was there anyone else? The mother of five that lived near the tavern or the old man and his wife who almost never left their home? This cold rainy town offered almost nothing including companionship.

"I'm actually not feeling very well." You told him as you began to feel self-conscious about what your life had been in this town.

To the eyes of a traveler, especially a handsome bard, the truth of your life would be considered a joke. You weren't sure where he came from or where he was heading to next but something inside you sunk. This fantasy truly was a fantasy and nothing more. You couldn't help but mentally scold yourself for even believing for a second that it was possible to live inside this fantasy. The nervousness you had felt the moment you saw him was a joke and a feeling that should never have happened. It was never going to work and you were a stupid girl for even looking in his direction. One day, you would marry one of the villagers who already lived here and have his children. And that was that.

"Oh would you like me to..."

"No...no" you interrupted him as you let go of his hand for the first time since you both had left the tavern. "I'll be fine."

Thankfully, the rain had been on the heavy side that day as the tears beginning to fall from your eyes could be hidden. So much doubt had been filled in your mind and unfortunately those doubts won. Even spending an hour with him brought you more pain than what you were ready for and you knew if this continued, in the morning you would be completely crushed.

You heard hung low keeping your eyes on the rainy path as you quickly left Jaskier behind not wanting to spend one more painful second with him. His voice needed to be lost in the sound of the rain hitting the rooftops and the stones becoming lost in your memory until you couldn't recall what it had even sounded like. His gorgeous eyes needed to be something from a dream and to remain there until your final day. Maybe, if you tried hard enough, you could imagine his features and his voice on the husband you would eventually have and be able to make a little fantasy for yourself in the middle of a dark rainstorm.

Your feet carried you to your home from muscle memory as your tears fell onto the ground just as the raindrops had. You were unsure if Jaskier knew his way back to the tavern or not but the town wasn't massive so surely, he would be able to manage.

The wooden door flew open with the force of your hands bringing you into the shelter for your home and away from the cold rain that had be drenching your body. Your shoes left your feet just as quickly as the door had closed as you ran through the small home to your warm bed without even attempting to remove the wet clothes. Your body was weak and you felt mentally exhausted as the water from your clothes made the blankets on the bed wet and the tears from your eyes dampened your pillow. There would be no sleep to be had tonight and when the sun came up, he would be gone and the healing process could finally begin.

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To Be Continued
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