I Wish...

Chapter 21

New Years passed without incident and all of my adoptive siblings went back to their separate lives. It was already May and Memorial Day was just yesterday.

It was my first day back to school after the three day weekend and as I walked into the school, I already started to hear snickers, yes they still made fun of me. They never started this early, but I brushed it off, seeing Mason making his way through the hallway. I continued walking towards him, ignoring the snickers. When Mason reached me, he asked how my weekend was as he pulled me in for a hug. It was obvious from the smile on his face that he had a great weekend, so I tried to match his smile as I told him that it was great.

Recently, he had started putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. For the past couple of weeks, we walked to class like that. Despite this being almost a daily occurrence it always took me by surprise. Apparently, it still shocked others because as he did it again the people in the hallway still laughed. Trying to ignore the blush rising to my cheeks and the snickers in the background I asked him how his weekend was and he launched into everything he did.

Several dull classes later, I found myself at lunch zoning out while Kevin and Isiah watched a video that they made. I was pulled from my head when I heard a worried voice say my name. Looking up I was met with a worried Mason.

"Huh?"

"I called your name three times. Are you okay?"

Glancing over I could see that Isiah and Kevin were looking at me worriedly as well, the video still playing in the background long forgotten.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking about the homework we had tonight. What did you want?"

It was partially true, a part of me was thinking about the homework that we had, but the other part was thinking about the snickers that I kept hearing all day long. Why did they keep laughing at me? I know they usually did, but it was more than usual and it put me on the edge. I honestly just wanted to go home. Unfortunately for me, that was not possible.

I floated through the rest of my classes in a daze trying my best to pay attention but failing miserably. Finally, it was the last period of the day. Luckily for me, it was only gym so it wouldn't require much effort or thinking and I was that much closer to going home. Although my enthusiasm quickly changed from being excited to go home to being excited about the game we were playing.

Ultimate frisbee. I loved ultimate frisbee. It was one of the only games in gym I liked playing, it also helped that I was good at it. It was one of the very few things that made me feel real joy for a while. We split up into teams and started playing. Luckily for me, I ended up on a good team, so we got a lot of points and I had a lot of catches.

Despite people obviously not liking me and picking on me so much, they still threw the frisbee to me quite a lot. The guys on my team simply cared more about winning than picking on me. I was glad and enjoyed it while it lasted because I knew that once we were done, it would be over. So far my team had at least fifteen points and I knew we had to be winning. As the next game started I pulled up my sleeves because I was starting to get hot. We won the next three matches but still had a lot of time left because there was still half of the period left over.

As I paid attention to the game and tried to help my teammates as much as possible, I started to hear snickers again. It took me completely off guard because no one had laughed or said anything the entire time that we were playing. I shook it off, just believing that they were getting bored or just mad that their team wasn't winning.

But then they started pointing and laughing louder. This caught the attention of most of the people in the gym, who then followed their gazes to me and started laughing and pointing as well. It was only then that I realized my mistake. I had pulled up my sleeves. My scars.

The girl who started all of the mute rumors, Beverley, walked up a few feet in front of me still laughing, but she didn't need to say anything because there were tears already in my eyes.

"Awww, look at you. You're so pathetic." Behind her were her two friends who I heard laugh in response. Not knowing what to do, I kept my mouth shut.

"You can't handle a little teasing? You have to go cut yourself?" More snickers followed, but it was then that I finally found my voice.

"No! You don't understand! I-" I was quickly cut off by Beverley suddenly turning to her friends and laughing.

"Did you guys hear anything?" she asked, "I saw her mouth move, but nothing came out."

Her friends shook their heads and laughed some more. I saw her open up her big mouth to say something else and before I realized it a loud smack echoed throughout the room. I saw her face light up with shock and then twist in slight pain. Looking down at my hands, I found that I was shaking. I had never hit anyone before.

Suddenly, I was pushed down and my head made contact with the floor. Beverley quickly followed and straddled my hips before her first connected with my cheek. The adrenaline rushing through my veins didn't allow me to feel it so I tried my best and managed to flip us over so I was on top. Balling my hand into a fist, I was throwing a punch back at her when I was suddenly yanked harshly off of her.

Breaking out of the angry trance I was in, I realized that tears were running down my face and that all of our gym class was standing around us in a circle, almost looking sad that the teacher had ended it. Where were they when the girls were making fun of me?

I was quickly escorted out of the gym and down to the principal's office, a place I had never been to before. The principal, Mr. Hepper, was sitting in an office chair behind his desk. I was frozen in place and couldn't even tell if I was breathing or not, too shocked by what had just happened. Too many emotions warred in my mind for me to comprehend. Sadness, anxiety, anger, disgust...

I was so preoccupied that when Mr. Hepper started to ask me questions about what had happened, I went completely blank and couldn't say anything. He sighed, not angry but disappointed. Before he could say more, there was a knock on the door. I barely heard Mr. Hepper say "come in" before a warm hand was being placed gently on my shoulder.

I jumped and quickly whipped my head around to see James with an unreadable expression. I calmed down slightly, but then tears quickly flooded my eyes. I tried to apologize with my eyes for causing him to have to deal with this. I saw a small nod from him before Mr. Hepper launched into what had happened.

I quickly zoned out and only slightly heard him say I was suspended for three days before James was guiding me out to the car with a gentle hand on my back. He opened the passenger door for me and I got in and buckled up. He quickly hopped in the driver's seat and we made our way home.

He didn't say a single thing to me the whole ride there and I couldn't read his face either. I was so scared that I made him mad and that he would hate me now. I was scared that he would become like my father and I would never see the kind side of him again. My thoughts ran all over the place and I couldn't focus on one emotion for more than a few seconds before it was switching to something else.

As soon as we pulled into the driveway, I left the car and went straight up to my room. Closing the door, I jumped on my bed and buried my face in the pillows, finally allowing the tears to escape.

To Be Continued...