I Wish...

Chapter 22

The rest of the day passed with me switching between crying in my pillow and staring at the blank tv. It wasn't until sunset when there was a knock on my door.

I quickly wiped my eyes of the remaining tears before the door opened and James walked in, that unreadable expression still on his face. He closed the door behind him and my heart sank to the floor. Before he could say anything, I threw myself at his feet and tears stung my eyes for the millionth time that night.

"Please! Please don't hurt me!! I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean to!! I'm sorry! Don't be mad at me please!!"

My hysterical yelling slowly turned to soul-shattering sobs as I continued to whisper 'don't hurt me' over and over again. I gasped as a hand landed on my back and I immediately prepared for the pain that would come next, but instead, I was lifted into the air and placed gently on the bed, my legs dangling over the sides.

James sat down beside me and wrapped an arm around me. The shock outweighed the fear as I stared at James who was looking at me sadly but also confused.

"I would never hurt you, Sera. Why would you think that?" I was silent, letting the last few sobs die down.

It was silent for a minute as James ran a calming hand up and down my back. "Will you tell me what happened, Sera?"

I stared down at my arms and grabbed my left wrist, the action not going unnoticed. The scars hidden underneath my sleeves were aching. I took a deep breath before attempting to speak.

"I... s-she... th-they..." I took a deep breath once again trying to control my mind before it sent me into the oncoming panic attack. My breathing started to become erratic, but before it could develop any further James pulled me into his arms completely.

"Shhhh, take a deep breath. Don't push it, just let it out."

I quickly calmed down again and pulled myself from the comforting hug. I didn't deserve it. Focusing my attention back on my arms and trying to keep the tears at bay, I sighed.

"They... they were making fun of me because of these... " I slowly pulled my sleeves up and heard an audible gasp from James. "They thought I self-harmed."

James grabbed both of my wrists and studied them for a few moments. During the silence, it was all I could do to keep my thoughts in the present and not picture my father. My arms shook in his hold and the tears were starting to fall. Biting my lip I tried to keep the sobs back for as long as possible. When James looked up, there were tears in his eyes.

"Sweetheart, why... why would you do this to yourself?" The worry and panic in his voice were obvious, but I shook my head. Pulling my arms out of his grasp, I pulled my sleeves back down and wrapped my arms around myself. My tears were in full force as I tried to explain. I shook my head and confusion joined James' emotions.

"That's the thing," I whispered, "I didn't self-harm. It wasn't me." His confusion doubled, but I could see it in his eyes the moment he understood. His face filled with horror and I saw his eyes flood with tears.

"No..." I simply nodded and I was pulled into James' arms once more. I heard a small sniffle come from him before he spoke again.

"Who would do this to you? Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. It all makes sense. The tensing, the begging. Oh my god." The sobs burst through my throat but it didn't stop me from speaking.

"It was my father." Immediately, his grip on me tightened and I heard another gasp.

"How could your own father do that to you! You're such a wonderful young girl-"