I Wish...

Chapter 16

With my new friends, it was getting easier to ignore the teasing from everyone else, but today was different. Today was my mother's birthday and I felt the weight of it the moment I woke up. The guilt and self-loathing that I normally felt was ten times worse, along with the grief. The entire morning as I got ready for school and ate, it was all I could do not to cry. I couldn't even keep up my usual appearance of happiness.

Immediately, James and Tessa could tell something was wrong, but they didn't ask, sticking to their belief that I would talk if I wanted. I still wasn't ready yet for them to know just what I had been through.

Once I got to school, I saw Mason standing in the hallway with a smile on his face, but it fell the moment he saw the frown on my face. He waited until I walked up beside him and continued walking with me but stayed silent. The usual teasing continued all day long like usual, but today it felt like the devil himself was throwing insults at me. The words my dad spoke to me so long ago flew through my head for the first time in a while. I couldn't even focus on my classes. Mason tried to speak to me throughout the day, but all I could give him were one-word answers or grunts of acknowledgment.

Throughout the day my mental state continued to get worse until the last period of the day neared its end. Feeling the tears welling up in my eyes for the millionth time that day, I knew that this time I wouldn't be able to hold back. I made my way to the front of the room with my book bag in tow and asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom. Shooting me a concerned look, he could obviously see the tears in my eyes, he nodded and told me to take my time.

I slowly made my way to the girl's bathroom tears silently rolling down my face as I thought about my mother. It took me several minutes to reach the bathroom that was only twenty steps down the hall. I weakly pushed open the heavy door and checked to make sure no one else was in there.

Once I was sure I was alone, a sob made its way past my lips, quickly followed by another and another until I was full-on hysterical. I leaned my back on the wall before my body seemed to lose all strength as I slid down the wall. I landed on the tile floor harshly before bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. In an attempt to gound myself, I gripped my left arm so tightly I could feel my nails digging in.

What felt like hours of self-berating later, which was probably only minutes, the door was pushed open roughly and I barely noticed the footsteps rushing towards me where I had collapsed on the floor earlier. Whoever it was quickly knelt down beside me and I was rapidly pulled into a hug. Only once they started to whisper sweet nothings in my ear did I realize that it was Mason.

Once the realization hit me I maneuvered myself to wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. It wasn't until after the last bell rung that my cries finally subsided enough to talk.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Mr. Shadler sent me to check on you. He said that you had tears in your eyes when you left." I nodded, my face still hidden in his neck.

"Are you okay?" he asked when I didn't respond.

For once in my life, I was honest and shook my head no.

"What's wrong? Does it have something to do with all of the teasing?" I simply nodded not wanting to speak, especially about the biggest reason why I was so upset.

"Why didn't you tell me it bothered you so much?" Instead of answering him, I asked him a question.

"Why didn't you say anything to stop them?"

"W-well, I-I thought that it didn't bother you."

"Of course it does," I whispered quietly. His arms tightened around me and he lowered his head until his chin rested on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Sera. I should've known that." We sat there for a few more minutes before I pulled away.

"I need to get going," I explained, "my dad is probably worried." I glanced at him as he nodded with a frown on his face and got up.

Sure enough, when we headed out of the doors, James' car was parked directly in front of the building and he was glaring at the door with a frown on his face. I saw his face light up with relief but immediately dropped with concern. As I got in the car he asked me what took me so long and if I was okay.

"Yeah, I forgot one of my books in my locker and had to run back for it," I lied. He easily accepted the lie and pulled out of the parking lot.

When we arrived home I went straight up to my room and locked the door. I changed into my comfiest pajamas and cuddled up under the covers with one of my stuffed animals, one that my mom had given me years ago, and started watching Arrow.

I stayed up in my room for the whole day watching episode after episode, not even going down for dinner. But when James came up and asked me if I wanted to watch a movie and have pie, I couldn't resist.

After splashing my face with cold water and drying off, I headed downstairs to see a plate of chocolate peanut butter pie, a specialty of Tessa's, and a glass of chocolate milk on the coffee table. Two blankets were already sitting on the couch and the title screen for the new Jumanji movie was on the screen.

James walked in from his room and his face filled with concern as he saw me standing there. Without saying a word he pulled me into a hug and gently guided me to sit down on the couch. It was all I could do not to burst into tears again.

James sat down right beside me and put his arm around me gently pushing my head to lay on his shoulder and threw a blanket over us. He leaned forward and grabbed the plate for me handing it to me along with the fork that had been sitting next to it. I took my first bite and already understood why it was a specialty. It was amazing.

Tessa came out of the kitchen holding her own plate of pie and sat down on James' other side. She pulled the other blanket over her lap and started the movie. Once I had finished the pie, James took the plate from me and set it back down on the coffee table.

Next thing I knew, I was being lifted into the air and was being moved. I grunted in confusion and exhaustion.

"It's alright, just go back to sleep Sera," James whispered.

I snuggled into his warm chest and sighed when I was lowered onto my bed and the covers were pulled over me. He kissed my forehead before I heard a sigh. My breathing even and my face calm, he must've thought I had fallen back to sleep.

"I wish you would tell me what's wrong..." he whispered before leaving.

To Be Continued...