after lorraine and i we're finished i offered that the two of us hang around at the saloon for a bit. we both needed a break for now. the two of us leaned against the bar and i paid for the share of her drink. "i'll pay for you, but only if you tell me a story."
"you always wanna hear a story arthur. ain't your life exciting enough?" she was getting sassy with me and i sorta enjoyed it. she made me laugh with the thought. "fine, what'chu wanna hear about?"
"what happened with that smith guy? he seems like an interesting feller." she sighed and her whole composure changed. i wanna hear this goddamn story. she said it was a secret a long while ago and i wanna know what's so secret about the damn thing.
"he uh... well he started getting involved with men you shouldn't. men that kill ruthlessly and smith was starting to... become like them. now since i was little i've always been running with different people so i know how to handle myself... sometimes. he just started to scare me is all. and those men he were messin with... they started coming home with smith after dark and talkin to me like i was some call girl. it was sickening. so i slapped one of em. said they'd lynch me the next time they saw me. so i ran farther away than i have before. it was thrilling but terrifying to be on my own again."
"hmm. well aren't we just a bunch of ruthless killers lorraine?" i asked, raising and brow and taking a swig of my whisky. "i mean... the path dutch is heading down..."
"no, no. you guys are different. well... you are. you and john. the two of you are just trying to make things right arthur. make things go back to normal and be filled with equality and peace i guess. i don't know." she paused for a minute and her eyes traced the marks in the wood from past guests who stood in her exact spot. "tell me something about yourself and i'll tell you another."
"you know i had a son?" her face was full of shock, but a look of admiration soon flowed after.
"really?"
"his name was isaac. he was a good kid. so was his mom. she was only 19 and a waitress at the time. i uh... well i still was with dutch and hosea so i couldn't stay with them all the time but i would go check in on them every once in a while."
"this don't sound good, arthur," she seethed and drank from her glass.
"well i went back one day and saw two crosses outside. i knew right then that they were dead. turns out a fool came in and robbed them. shot the both of em. all over ten bucks. what a fool." lorraine sniffed lightly and shook her head.
"i'm sorry arthur." she placed her hand on mine and gave me a look of sympathy. for a moment i felt so involved in her present that i couldn't pull away from her sweet grasp her eyes kept on me. what a man i am. what a fool.
"it's fine. it was a while ago. but it uh.. it made me realize that you can't be a bad man and get handed all these good things. life just don't work that way." she sighed and nodded with wide eyes.
"that's something else, arthur. i wasn't going to tell you anything as deep as that... i was just going to tell oh my last name." i do want to know. not because it's critical information or anything... i just wanna know about this lady. "it's uh.. it's charmelico."
"that's unique." i chuckled, paying for another round of drinks.
-
as the night went on, lorraine and i continued our venture into drinking. "why aren't you married arthur?" she asked as we leaned over the upstairs railing.
"nobody would have me." my vision blurred as i stared off into the distance. "look at me. i'm a fool. even the woman i was with before realized that i weren't good. " the two of us laughed and she just kept her eyes staring at the drunk people downstairs. "but i still think about getting married and settling down... then i realize that will never happen. not with the life i've already chosen."
"oh please arthur, you can have anything for yourself. you just gotta take it for what it is. you want a family? do it. you're your own man and i'm sure you can protect your wife and kid is you have any. it's never to late." she continued to drink but her eyes were droopy and tired. "man, all this talk got me thinkin bout smith. that old bastard. i'm always talkin about him... i hate him. i hate him." a little while ago she was tellin me how she wanted to go back to him, now she says she hates him?
"you hate the man? thought you loved him... you're a confusing woman lorriane." she just shook her head again and kept her blurred vision on the front door. "you okay?"
"that man ruined my life. he told me we was gonna get married and be happy with each other. damn fool i was for believing him. he didn't love me... he just wanted a wife that he could be sweet with and show off. he never loved me." the woman had her share of problems, that's for sure. "arthur i think you're the best man i've ever met. goin around helping folk like... and helpin me out when allen got me. you always know what to say... sometimes, and you want the best for your family of brothers and sisters."
"you don't know me lorraine. i ain't that man."
"pfft, that's another thing! you never take pride for being a good man, you always put yourself down. damn arthur, you've helped more people than i can even count on one hand, you're someone alright."
"you keep thinkin that lorraine but i ain't a good man. i kill for a living..." the woman was finally silenced but i saw the fight in her eyes. "we should get goin, dutch probably wondering where we are by now."
"yeah," she sighed and followed straight behind me.
