You Kill Me ( In A Good Way) *Kellic *

Cause he's been running through my dreams, and it's driving me crazy

     -
-SO I FINALLY GOT OFF MY LAZY ASS AND UPDATED THIS STORY, HOPING TO CONTINUE IT, OH WLL WE'LL SEE, HOPE YOU ENJOY MY LITTLE EARTHLINGS- XXX 

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*KELLIN'S POV* 

------- FLASHBACK----------------

"WE ARE THE SHADOWS SCREAMING TAKE US NOW"

"WE'D RATHER DIE THAN TO RUST ON THE GROUND"

"SHIIITTTTTTTTTT" -we both screamed into the mic, as the crowd went wild, 

I hopped off stage and grabbed a bottle of water, a pair of arms where wrapped tightly around my waist, knowing already who it was 

"Hello Mr.stinky"- he whispered into my ear 

"speak for yourself you rotten burrito"- he giggled and softly planted a soft kiss on my neck

"come with me" - "what? wher----" before i could finish my answer, i was being dragged away from the venue, into a secluded area. As soon as we stopped walking, without wasting any time, Vic pinned again ts the wall, crashing his lips to mine, melting into him. Each time, felt like it was the first time. I pushed my body closer to his, deepening the kiss, feeling him gasp, after a while he pulled back, lightly kissing my jaw, down to my neck, before pressing his forehead against mine, looking deep into to my eyes , giving one last soft kiss 

"God i've wanted to do that all day" -  he whispered again ts my lips

"can't resist me now, can you?"  - i said, smirking 

"Get your head out of your head out of your ass, Quinn"  

I poked my tongue out at him "OHH! i'd rather have something else in there, Fuentes" - winking at him, watching his face go all red. 

" Let's just go, you dork, before both our bands send the rescue team to search for us" 

-------- END OF FLASHBACK----------

Before I could wrap my head around, at the the thought of that memory, I arrived in my parking lot. I sat there quietly for a couple of minutes, feeling tears escape my eye. It was little moments like those that still haunt me, and after tonight, I just couldn't live with the thought that I might never get another moment like that.

That's weird? there's lights coming from the bedroom window, i stepped out of my car, and into my home, immediately i heard "KELLIN???????'' - 

OH SHIT!.. Katelynne was back. With everything going on, I didn't even have time to think about what happened with me and Vic, and about and how i should tell her. 

"Hey babe" she lightly wrapped her hands around my neck, planting a soft kiss on my lips.I just stood there. Nothing about that kiss felt right anymore, no spark, no nothing. 

she pulled away eventually noticing i wasn't responding back 

"Babe what's wrong, you seem thoughtful" -  she said with a confused look on her face.

"Nothing I just had a long day that's all, you're home early" 

"Yeah last couple of days where canceled because of the weather in new york"

"oh........." -  sounding disappointed, I just turned to walk into the kitchen

"Kell, wait" 

I turned around and looked at her 

"kell, don't lie to me, what's wrong" - she said, looking at me with pleading eyes.

I felt my chest tighten, do I tell her? the whole room felt like it was spinning, so many thoughts rushing through my head, tears started to build into my eyes, why does this have to be so hard? 

I managed to choke out between sobs "vi--cc's -- in--the-hos--pit-al" 

she looked at me with sympathy  "Why what happened..." - she said, pulling me gently into a hug.

Do I tell her the whole story, or just what happened after.. how will she take it? will she hate me, I don't blame her, although I might not love her in that way, I still care about her, what about copeland? will she be taken away from me?.. that thought i cannot bare to think about 

I was pulled from my thoughts when i felt a hand on my shoulder, lighty shaking me.

"kell hun, you're spacing out "

"kate, i think we need to talk" - I don't know how i managed to speak that out

"Uhm ok, yeah... let's go in the living room "

I followed her into the living room, and plopped down on the sofa, putting my head in my hand, letting out a huge sigh of frustration

"kell can you please tell me what's wrong, you're worrying me".. she looked like she was about to cry... I felt so guilty,, that i broke sobbing for like the 500th time today.

" kate, Vic's the hospital because of me" 

 she gasped - "WHAT? WHAT DID YOU DO?" 


suddenly i felt in lost for words

 " I--I.---we-uhm---got-into------a---fight-"....

"Because of what tho, i thought you two finally had your stuff settled out.." looking lost.

I sighed "Please don't be mad at me kate, please I just don't know what to do anymore, I care about you a lot, but everything just happened and i don't know" - I started crying even harder, not being able to look at her.

"kellin, what are you talking about, just out with it please" .. she said out loud sounding slightly angry and frustrated. thank god, copeland, was still at my mum's house, i wouldn't want her to be in the middle of this right now

"Vic--he came over-- and-----everything was ok----but-- he--we-------I--we-kissed--and--i got mad--but not intentionally, so i kicked him out, he took it badly and went home and drank him self almost to death, but mike got home on time and he took him to the hospital, now he;s in a coma, and --- it's my fault--i'm confused---i think....I think I still love him, and it's fucking ripping me a part" -  I was a complete mess, but it felt like the weight has been lifted off my shoulder

Katelynne, on the other hand, looked confused with a hint of anger

"Kellin........ you did what?....you what?, I don't understand... do you not love me anymore, was this marriage a lie?-  she started getting more furious 

The room fell silent neither of us saying a word or looking at each other, both of us just lost in our own thoughts... 

" Answer me kellin" 

" NO OF COURSE NOT, I meant when I said I love you before, i meant every word i ever said to you, i meant when i told you, that you're my rock, and it's thanks to you that i'm still here,and i do genuinely care about you katelynne, and i'm extremely grateful to have you in my life, i don't regret anything!! you're the only person who even gave me hope after everything, and i'm a jerk and an asshole for saying all of this but maybe it was all a misunderstanding, I thought by marrying you, it will answer all my thoughts, and finally get over what ever happened with Vic, as selfish as it sounds and i was wrong to do that, the more time passed the more i started realizing that all of this was just to maybe replace the missing piece he left, and i've been living in guilt and shame, and i'm truly am sorry, despite all this shit i still want you to be a part of my life, i don't want to out you, not only for my sake, but for cope's as well, but i just cannot live a lie anymore and deny the fact that i'm still in love with Vic... " -  i took a huge breathe, the room fell silent once again... the look on kate's face held mixed feelings .. I don't think i've ever been this scared in my life. because i truly do not want to lose her as a person, but at the same time i don't want to lose copeland.

"I understands, it hurts a lot, but it's not worth working on something which will lead to nothing, I do not want to fight with you kellin, by all means, but why didn't you tell me before? what hurts the most rather than not feeling for me back ,is not trusting me, i thought you can tell me anything, you know you always have?..." 

"Well I was confused and i didn't want to hurt you, or this family, i don't want cope to grow up like I did.. it's not fair on her to suffer for my shit" 

"well ok, but don't you think that hurts more? trust is more valuable than anything, and this is where it also it hurts me, you know i'm always willing to compromise kellin,i thought you knew me better that i will not do a thing to have cope taken away from you, as harsh as this sounds to be very honest, it's not going to make a difference if we're married or not raising her, because 300 days out of a year, you're always on tour and she's always with me, you're barely home, so it wasn't going to affect anything really.. I understand how hard it is to get over someone, do you think it's easy for me looknig at my boys, and not remembering my ex-fiance? all you had to do is talk to me kellin, because i'd rather have to face the truth than live on false hope" 

I was utterly blown away by her words, i didn't expect in a million year... she was right about Cope most off all, i already miss out a lot because of the touring, so it will not make a huge difference really, i was relieved by all of this, and mentally punching myself for not doing this before, i felt sorry for leading her on most of all!.. 
 
"So where do we go from here" 

" I don't know kell, what do you want to do?" - sounding more calmer.

It broke me that I had to say this but " I don't want to do this kate I really don't, but it's not fair on you to keep this going you deserve someone who truly loves you, in that way.." 

"kellin don't... it's fine i guess" 

"shall i call the lawyer in the morning, to file for divorce?... " 

" ok... "  she said almost in tears "kellin?" 

"Yeah?" ....  she scooted closer to me looking me in the eye 

"can i?"  looking at me with pleading eyes 

I slowly nodded, brushing a tear away with my finger, lightly cupping her face in my hands, before planting a small kiss on her lips. She moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck, deepening the kiss. I've got to admit, this is one of the most meaningful kiss we've shared in a long while, but it also screamed, a kiss that meant goodbye forever, exploring each other, like we're trying to memorize the taste of one another, and embrace once last touch, to hold onto forever. I grabbed her and placed her on my lap, having her straddling my hips, pulling her even closer to me, holding her tight, afraid to let her go, She gently pulled away, looking a me, before noticing that her face was covered in tears. I pulled her into a hug, stroking her soft hair slightly

" I'm sorry... " I gently whispered to her ... 

She didn't say anything, i looked at her, and saw that she was peacefully asleep. I grabbed a blanket that was sitting on the sofa, and wrapped in around us, I kissed her head lightly one last time, before letting myself fall into deep slumber. 

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*** NEXT DAY*** 


I woke up the next day, feeling some sort of emptiness. When I opened my eyes, I noticed kate was gone.

"KATELYNNE???"  - no responce 

I decided to go in the kitchen and make some breakfast, because i was sure as hell hungry, since i hadn't eaten anything, since before Vic came over 2 days ago. I saw a note on the fridge, and read it 

"Going out for a while, Cope is with me and my mother so, you don't have to pick her up today" 

- Kate xo 


well at least she's ok. With that I decided to head upstairs and take long shower, and putting on some fresh clothes, I probably smelt like a 100 year old corpse. Once I was done I decided to call the one person I was dreading to call since last night. Mike

I grabbed my phone and pressed his contact, it rang a few time before he picked up..