Shattered Glass (lesbian story) *NEW CHAPTERS COMING SOON*

Shattered Glass: Chapter 6

After my Mom died I trained myself not to cry. The day after her funeral I remember crying the entire day. I cried so much that dad almost rushed me to the emergency room. I would have loved to see what they would have done if a crying 12 year old showed up in the hospital without any ‘noticeable’ injuries. After your Mother dies nothing ever seems nearly as painful. Then why am I sitting in the girl’s bathroom with tears streaming from my eyes?

The thing I hate the most about crushes are that over 90 percent of the time you get crushed by that person, unless you’re just so beautiful and magnificent. So if you’re like me you will get crushed by a crush. I barely know April so why am I getting worked up over her being in love with the biggest asshole in the school? Why can’t I just brush it off and move on like a normal person? Maybe I haven’t been training hard enough.

I’ve had a crush on April ever since the 9th grade and I’ve always had fantasies of being with her. It may sound creepy but I dreamed of lying in a big soft bed with her and just making passionate love. When I really reflected on having these thoughts about April I felt so disgusting. I couldn’t help myself though; everyone has at least one crush in school. Mine just happens to be deeper than most people’s.

Right now I am sitting on the toilet in the stall of my school’s bathroom crying silently. Its first period so I don’t have to worry too much about someone coming in and hearing me. I am sacrificing English for my tears right now, but I really don’t care. I have to take care of my emotions, something that I rarely have to tend to. As I sit on the stall I suddenly hear someone open the door and click through the bathroom.

“I-is someone there?” I hear a familiar voice ask. It’s most definitely April’s. I do not respond.

“Is someone crying?” She questions and I see her bend over and peek under the stalls a little bit.

“Y-yes,” I answer nervously. I almost can’t believe that I’m responding in this condition.

“Nikki dear, is that you? April requests sweetly and I open the stall door. I know for a fact that the whites around my brown eyes are red and that I have puffy bags underneath my eyes. I feel so embarrassed for letting April see me like this.

“Nikki what’s wrong? What happened?” She pries with concern. I have to make up a lie fast.

“Cramps, bad cramps,” I lie and then April starts rummaging through her bag for something.

“No, no April I’m fine. I can just grit and bear it,” I insist but it’s too late. She has already pulled out a bottle Motron.

“There’s about two pills left in there. They should do the trick,” She smiles at me warmly and I hold the bottle tight in my hand.

“If it’s not strong enough I can walk you to the nurse,” She offers but I shake my head no.

“Well besides the cramps, how are you today?” She asks and then leans against the bathroom sink. As I look into her green eyes I can see that something is bothering April. From what I’ve gathered about her so far I know she would never confess her pain, at least not right now.

“Alright I guess…Mr. Newmar kind of pissed me off this morning,” I confess and then stuff the pill bottle into my backpack.

“Ew, what he say?” She inquires then begins to rummage through her purse again.

“He just made some rude comment, I’m used to it,” I sigh silently and watch as April pulls out a brush and starts brushing her long orange flamed hair.

“People are stupid as fuck. I swear high school is so superficial. No one’s real,” April states distantly and then drops the brush back into her purse.

“I know…You’re at the top of the food chain though,” I point out and she gets a slightly annoyed expression on her face.

“Food chain? I hate the whole stereotypical high school food chain shit. If you ask me the strongest people are at the bottom of the ‘food chain’ because they have to try so hard just to survive. People like Adam who are supposedly at the top of the ‘food chain’ are the weakest,” April complains and then looks in the bathroom mirror and frowns.

“He’s wrong for me isn’t he?” April suddenly says and I stare at her with the most confused expression across my face.

“Um, I don’t know,” I lie.

“Come on Nikki. You’re smart enough to see it. You know that Adam is wrong for me. Just please say it Nikki, please?” She begs and the way she says it I know she hurting more than I can imagine.

“You deserve better,” I admit and for some reason her face lights up.

“We all do,” She agrees and puts her head down.

“Well I don’t have anyone so I guess I don’t deserve better if I don’t have anyone,” I joked and she looked at me seriously.

“You’ll find someone Nikki. You’re sweet and I can tell you’d treat a girl right. I need someone like that. How hard is it to find someone who is sweet and will treat a girl right?” April ranted.

“There are not a lot of lesbians in the school. I don’t even fit the ‘hot’ lesbian criteria anyway,” I frowned and she looked at me with a confused look on her face.

“What do you mean you don’t fit the ‘hot’ lesbian criteria?” She questioned me.

“I’m not androgynous and I’m not all girly and sexy. I’m just me plain and simple little old me,” I elaborated and she still stared at me as though I had three heads.

“Aren’t lesbians more accepting or whatever? They don’t focus on looks as much and what not?” She asked interestedly.

“Supposedly. I’ve never been around other lesbians in real life. I just know that the lesbians I have seen always have certain girls dangled from their arms. I’ve never even been hit on unless it’s by some old guy,” I whined. I hated whining because I always thought it was selfish, but I couldn’t help it.

“You do realize you have your whole life ahead of you right? Stop complaining about how you can’t find someone here. This is a small town you’d be lucky to find even a bisexual girl here. After high school everything will open up for you. I know for a fact that girls will be all over you asking for your number and everything,” April encouraged me with a warm smile. For some reason I actually believed what she was saying.

“You have your whole life ahead of you two…” I reminded her and she looked at me as if she were trying to solve the most difficult question ever.

“You know you’re right. I do have my whole life ahead of me so I shouldn’t sit here and put up with Adam’s bullshit. The quietest people know so much,” She beamed and I gave a slight smirk.

“How about we go to class now? We’re already late.” April suggested as she checked the mirror and fluffed up her hair.

“Sure,” I agreed. I watched as she switched her hips and walked out of the bathroom while holding the door for me. I already felt wrapped around her finger and everything was just beginning…