The first time we met I was only in high school.
I remembered how stunned I am whenever I see you. I usually check my mouth in case I got drool slipping out.
Casual ka lang na nakaupo nun sa sofa at naglalaro sa ps4 namin. You were beating my brother's ass.
You're a social butterfly. My parents like your out going and jolly attitude. And your laugh, gosh, it was loud and unladylike but you just don't give a fucking shit. You laugh your heart out.
I guess that's when I started having a crush on you. Your elegant simplicity.
I remembered asking my brother habang nakatambay kami sa terrace.
"Kuya girlfriend mo ba si ate Rachel?"
Tumawa ng malakas si kuya. "Naku baby sis, mas siga pa saken yun eh. Tropa lang kami. Saka may iba yung gusto."
"Bakit lagi kayong magkasama?" usisa ko pa, but not wanting my brother to suspect me.
"Tinutulungan niya kasi ako dun sa best friend niya na nililigawan ko." sagot niya.
I stopped asking after that.
Then dumalas ang pagpunta mo sa bahay, so I got to know you better.
Bungisngis ka.
Bully
Maingay
Magaling magluto
Athletic
As I see you everyday I felt something in my heart grew.
Then one day I just realized—
Holy shit, I'm doomed.
I fell hard.
Like really hard
Cause I think.....
I just fell in love with you.
*****
I was already in college and have a girlfriend of my own.
Jessey was her name.
She's my best friend/girlfriend.
Somehow we just clicked. I mean— I had to move on after hearing about your relationship with your teammate, what was her name again? Jovs? Ah yes, Jovelyn.
Jessey was there when I needed her the most.
When I was in my all time low.
It was fun while it last. Until one day I just felt like it isn't working anymore.
I felt like niloloko ko lang ang sarili ko at masasaktan lang si Jessey pag tinuloy pa namin ito.
"So you're breaking up with me?"
"I am." I told her honestly and sighed. "I love you, I really do but it doesn't feel right anymore."
"I know." Instead of hate, she gave me a sympathetic smile. "It's still her."
"I'm sorry."
She pulled me into a hug. "It's fine. I felt your love and it was wonderful. When we were just starting, alam ko at ramdam ko naman na mahal na mahal mo ako. But now it faded, not because hindi mo na ako mahal, but because deep in your heart you know it is still her. Your heart will always choose her." she then caressed my hair.
