Don't Get Caught

Chapter 8 - Ariel

How did I feel about him?  he'd asked.

OK, so this was really what this was all about. He wanted to see if he'd been right from the start and that I'd fallen for him. He had no real interest in telling me how he felt about me other than to remind me that this was nothing. What a bastard. I couldn't let him beat me.

I shook my head but answered anyway. "Well, you make me feel excited when we hook up and nervous afterwards. I feel frustration that I don't know you, but care about you even though I don't. I feel concerned that something is wrong and hope that you have people close to you. I feel sad that this is over, but slightly relieved." I stopped and bit my lip.

"Wow, you feel a lot of things," he observed.

"Yes. But you'll notice that not one of them is love. I don't know you. I don't even like you sometimes."

"That's true. I make you nervous, though?" A flicker of a pout formed on his perfect lips. Lips that had been kidding mine not so long ago.

"Only the next day."

"I guess it must be worth it." He winked at me, but I wasn't in the mood.

"Sometimes. I'm glad it's over now," I said truthfully. I was looking forward to a healthier relationship.

Danny's eyes widened at my comment. Maybe I'd been too harsh.

"Perhaps I shouldn't stay?" I suggested.

Danny nodded. He sat up, allowing the towel to fall open. "Do what you want."

I wrapped the towel back around me, averting my eyes from his lap, and went to locate my clothes. I felt strangely emotional; a lump formed in my throat as I disappeared to the bathroom. I dressed and stood in front of the mirror for a while looking at myself. Strands of my hair that had escaped the hair tie had stuck to my face. My cheeks red from the heat; my eyeliner slightly smudged under my eyes from the steam.

What was I so upset about? Hasmita and Leah had quizzed me a hundred times on what I saw in him and what I was getting out of our relationship, but I could never tell them because I didn't know. He was an addiction - that was all. If I was honest with myself, I wanted him to care more than he did. Not that it would make a difference; this was still over. But for the sake of my ego it would have been nice if he'd been slightly bothered that it was ending.

I decided I wouldn't stay. It was nearly two in the morning but going home was preferable to the standoff that was about to happen over whether we had sex or not anyway.

"I'm going to head off," I announced as I burst back into the bedroom. "I shouldn't have come - I'm sorry."

Danny sat on the bed, the white towel still half covering him blended with the white sheets. His eyes on his phone, which he put to one side. He looked at me blankly making me want to scream.

After a few moments' silence he got up and walked towards me. He put his hands on my shoulders and kissed my forehead. "Come on then. I'll wait downstairs with you for a taxi."

We sat in his front room, preparing ourselves for at least a half hour wait.

"You seem mad," Danny commented as he sat across from me.

"I'm not mad," I assured him. "I'm just done with this."

"I'm sorry you feel like that. I enjoyed it."

I rolled my eyes.

"You wanted more from me, I know, and I'm sorry. I do care about you. I don't want to hurt you."

I wanted to tell him he hadn't hurt me, but I think by that point we both knew he had. If only I could have played it cool for just another eight hours. Instead, I had to fall at the last hurdle.