SASHA

CHAPTER 10

I can't deny that I am intrigued with the idea of possibly having a normal life again. Would I go back to being the shy introverted girl I once was or would I remain the confident and bold girl that I have become? I don't know if I can do this to Hannah though. She could never survive the life that I now live. She could never kilI anyone so she wouldn't survive for very long. I haven't known Hannah for long but she has always had a pretty decent life until recently and she still remains kind and gentle. I on the other hand have always had more bad things happen to me than good. I have always been bullied even at a young age. I don't know what it is about me that makes me seem weak to certain people. I guess a part of it has been my fault because I shouldn't be so gullible all the time. It was always the guys that I fell for. It got really bad for me in eighth grade. This guy named Camden that was in one of my classes asked me to the eight grade prom. When that day arrived, I spent all day preparing myself. My dad took me to get my hair done and my dress was beautiful. My stepmother wasn't really involved in anything that had to do with me. All she did was tell me how Camden was going to stand me up because in her words who would want someone as ugly as me. I didn't pay her any attention because I was so excited and I thought to myself that she was just jealous because my dad didn't pay any attention to her. I know that I looked amazing once I was ready. My hair rested perfectly on my shoulders in soft brown curls and my makeup was minimal but very elegant. My dress was fitted and stopped just above my knee. I waited in my room so that I could make my grand entrance when Camden arrived. The dance started at 8 o'clock so he should arrive at about 7:30pm. Well 7:30pm came and went with no sign of Camden . I tried calling his cellphone but it went straight to voicemail. I kept my dress on for an hour and then I finally accepted the fact that he wasn't coming. I cried myself to sleep that night and I was grateful that I didn't have school for the next two days because it was the weekend. I sulked the entire time. I was so humiliated. My dad tried his best to console me but how could he understand a teenage girl that has had her heart broken? My stepmother on the other hand laughed and told me that I was stupid for thinking that he would show up. I guess she was right this time.
Monday came too fast andI dreaded going back to school. When I walked down the hallway toward my locker, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I could hear the laughter and snickering behind my back. I tried to ignore it and not let it bother me but I could feel the tears about to escape from my eyes. I kept my head down so that no one could see how pathetic I really felt . It seemed like it took an eternity to reach my locker. I immediately took out my books and put them in my bookbag. I still had a few minutes before class started so I went into the bathroom to compose myself. The tears came hard and fast. I tried to stop myself from crying but I could not. I remembered that I had a safety pin in my shirt where a button was missing that I put there this morning. I removed it and dug into my skin with it to distract myself from the overwhelming emotion that I was feeling. That was the beginning of me cutting myself to mask the pain. I applied pressure with my hand and a paper towel to stop the bleeding. As I was leaving the bathroom, I saw Camden on his way to class. I tried to remain inconspicuous but Camden saw me anyway. Our eyes locked and then he quickly looked away from me.
"I'm sorry." He said with a pained expression on his face.
"They were making fun of me for taking you."
Camden walked away and I didn't say a word. I should have yelled and cursed at him for standing me up but I couldn't find the words to say. Just like I couldn't find the words when Matthew humiliated me in front of everyone. I couldn't tell Matthew how angry I was but Jordan sure did. Even though he has done some really fucked up things he made Matthew pay with his life for what he did to me. He also could have used me to get his life back but he chose not to and he has been taking care of me every since. If I sacrifice Hannah and he finds someone to sacrifice we could live a normal life together. It would be so easy for me to trick Hannah because she trusts me. I am her best and now only friend. She doesn't have anyone else but me especially since Jonathan is gone. I hate that he got mixed up in all of this. I'm still angry at Jordan for killing Jonathan but Jordan said that Jonathan threatened to tell the police that I was in the empty house with him that night. He should have never threatened Jordan. I know that Jonathan was only looking out for me and that caused him his life. I understand that Jordan did what he had to do. I still don't know what I'm going to do as far as Hannah is concerned but I need to figure it out by the morning. I glance at the clock and it's 3am. I am really tired and need to get some sleep but I keep thinking of Hannah. She is my best friend but Jordan takes care of me. I feel as if I need him more than I need Hannah. Despite everything that Jordan has done I love him and I know he would never hurt me. At least I don't think he would.
Seconds turn into minutes and minutes into hours as I toss and turn for most of the night. I finally feel the sunlight on my face waking me from my short lived slumber. I roll over and feel for Jordan but he's not there. My mind immediately goes back to my dilemma concerning Hannah but then another problem surfaces. I need to feed. I feel sick to my stomach and I notice clumps of hair on my pillow. I drag myself slowly out of bed and into the bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror. My face is unrecognizable. My once brown glowing skin is pale and sunken and my lips are cracked and dry. I manage to shower even though my body is aching all over. It seems as if I am becoming weaker and weaker by the minute. I shower letting the hot water massage my body. When I turn the water off, I immediately hear muffled moaning sounds. I get out of the shower as quickly as I can and hesitantly go into the bedroom. There is a woman lying on the bed with her hands bound in front of her. She is yelling for help and her voice sounds familiar for a split second. She has a brown burlap bag over her head so I cannot see her face. I walk closer toward the bed and it's as if I can hear the blood rushing through her body. I can feel myself changing instantly. I run my fingers down the side of her neck and I can feel the blood pulsing through her veins. I straddle the woman's body and lean over until our lips are touching and begin sucking the life from her body. I can feel myself getting stronger and stronger. I look up and see Jordan staring down at me. I throw my head back and then pierce her neck with my sharp jagged teeth. Blood begins flowing from her jugular. My towel falls away and blood spatters my naked body. Jordan joins me in the blood bath as the woman takes her last breath.
Jordan and I clean ourselves up and then we clean up the bedroom. Jordan put plastic on the bed and floor so the cleanup was fairly easy. We lined the inside of his trunk with plastic as well and put the body inside to hide it until nightfall. I was curious about who the girl in the trunk was so I removed the brown burlap bag from her head. I recognize her from school. Cassidy Smith. She hung out with some other girls that thought they were better than everyone else because they had money. I can remember her humiliating me when I was in ninth grade. She was a year ahead of me so I was ecstatic when she and her friends invited me to sit with them during lunch. I put my tray down on the table and preceded to sit down when she pulled my chair back causing me to fall to the floor in front of everyone. How could I have been so stupid. I closed the trunk and put the memory out of my mind. I turned around to face Jordan.
" How did you know?" I said cocking my head to one side.
" I noticed you looked sick yesterday but you looked even worse this morning. I knew you would be too weak to find someone on your own." He replied with concern in his voice.
In a twisted way Jordan always manages to take care of me. I don't know how I would survive without him and he knows it. How could I ever go against him and win? I don't even know if I want to go against him because I love him.
" When will you see Hannah again." He asks changing the subject.
" Soon." I say looking at him with a small smile on my face.
" Good because I think I've found someone too." He says smiling back at me.