aYo HiTmAn BaNg

awkward avocado cannon

sooo...

jiyoo's mind was eternally traumatized.

she had witnessed yet another atrocity.

the two young men awkwardly paused, caught in the act.

and their new neighbor calling them cannibals didn't help the situation. 

namjoon entered the room and froze, eyes growing bigger than the jibooty.

yoongi looked up from his phone on the couch in the corner and coughed uncomfortably.

taehyung spluttered, "you were here the whole time!?"

the yoongi sighed, "I never want to have to listen to that again. how am I supposed to sleep after that??"

the commotion attracted the attention of the rest of the boys, who ran into the room to see what was going on.

jin and hoseok screeched. 

jimin just stared at tae and suggestively wiggled his eyebrows.

jiyoo just started crying.

immediately concerned, the whole rooms attention turned to her.

jungkook got up and ran to hug her.

"what's wrong?" he asked.

"your nutty dad is trying to kill me," she blubbered.

namjoon was not surprised. his dad was a hitman, after all.

he clapped his hands. "attention boys! we're leaving. we must defend this lovely young woman from our psychotic father. jin, fetch the avocados!"

the group began to scramble, packing bags and grabbing various foods and clothes and anything else they felt like packing. 

taehyung frantically ran about, screaming "did you see my gucci bag? it's got all my favorite stuff in it."

"no. describe it," said jungkook.

"its hella trophies and its hella thicc!"

"not as thicc as by jibooty!" muttered jimin.

jin entered with the avocados and what appeared to be the sling for a slingshot.

attaching each side of the sling to his feet, he laid on the floor in front of a window that looked out to the street and stuck his feet in the air. 

yoongi looked at jin in appreciation. "i'm gonna take a nap. don't mind me using your belly as a pillow." and he fell asleep before jin could protest.

jin sighed in frustration. now he couldn't reach his feet. "namjoon! come help me with the cannon! yoongi is sleeping on me!"

namjoon quickly ran to the rescue. grabbing a few avocados, he plopped aggressively in between jin's widespread legs with enthusiasm. 

unfortunately for jin, namjoon's solid muscular butt and his destructive superpowers crushed worldwide handsome junior. 

jin screamed, "namjoon, your glorious gluteus maximus is on my penis. remove it!"

in an attempt to help the poor man, namjoon stood up to change where he was sitting on jin. but he tripped on yoongi's unconscious body and came crashing down a second time in the exact same place. 

rip kim seokjin's future children.

deciding to ignore his tragic blunder, namjoon opened the window and blindly launched an avocado. 

and by some stroke of luck it hit hitman bang in the head as he was running down the sidewalk, knocking him out. 

yoongi opened his eyes and looked namjoon. "we're gonna have to start calling you the avocado assassin. now get off of jin's balls. he passed out. geez, how heavy are you and how solid is your butt? great. now i'm not gonna be an uncle."

hoseok stood at the door with keys in hand. "i packed your bags while you were launching the avocado cannon. they're in the car. is everyone ready?"

jiyoo suddenly realized the situation. she cleared her throat, "jungkook, i appreciate the hug, but you're still naked. also, what the heck is going on?"