aYo HiTmAn BaNg

he needed to pee

jiyoo was feeling a bit awkward.

after all, she had just gone through a lot.

she was already in the process of moving into her new apartment, which was hard enough.

but then she met her neighbors, who, despite their odd tendencies, were quiet friendly and welcoming. she didn't know them very well, and this was only her second time meeting them. She barely even knew their names. 

but after they invited her to dinner, she walked in on their father consuming his monstrous nightmare of a culinary atrocity.

and then he pulled a gun on her and began to hunt her because apparently he was a hitman.

then she walked in on taehyung eating jungkook's...

well...

ummm...

banana balls...?

fruit and nuts...?

trail mix?

you know what I mean.

which was confusing cause she thought they were brothers but it turns out that for a few years they thought they were brothers, but dna test showed that he had been switched at birth. 

it turns out there had been some confusion because daddy bang had not attended the birth, but if he had he would have seen that his baby mama's child was not his. 

she had cheated on him and the actual father was black, so the child clearly wasn't mr. bang's. this of course confused the nurses taking care of the babies in the nursery because there was another lady who's baby should have been part black but she had also cheated on her currently absent man so her baby was asian. 

both moms were a little nervous to break the news when the baby daddies showed up but then when the nurses brought them their children they were switched and while they didn't look like the parents, it was less painfully obvious at first glance. the mothers had no clue. they just assumed there had been a miraculous switching of genetics. 

luckily, most babies tend to look like large wrinkly crying cute potatoes at birth anyway, so they, facially, are fairly indistinguishable. it wasn't until he was older that they suspected anything.

so taehyung and jungkook weren't related. 

anyway, after the "trail mix eating" incident, she got whisked around through the orderly chaos that was evacuation and weaponized avocado activation.

and then through most of the driving she sat in petrified silence, broken only by hoseok's occasional nervous wailing. 

then the laundromat.

and now they were driving. again.

she hadn't had time to really process the circumstances, but now that she was driving, she could think. quite frankly, she was overwhelmed.

jin seemed to pick up on this. he spoke up in the silence, "well now that we aren't busy, lets properly introduce ourselves. I'm kim seokjin, but you may call me jin or world wide handsome."

"I'm kim namjoon. you can call me namjoon, joonie, rm, 'r-a-p monster not d-a-n-c-e monster', or the god of destruction."

"I'm min yoongi. call me yoongi. or suga. or agust d. jjang jjang man boong boong. min suga genius. whatever. I don't really care. Imma go back to sleep."

"HELLO I'M YOUR HOPE YOU'RE MY HOPE I'M JHOPE! actually, jung hoseok, but you could call me hobi if you want."

"im kookie. or jungkook."

"he forgot to say his whole name. he's jeon jungkook. im kim taehyung. but I prefer taehyung or tae or tae tae cause I only get called by my full name when im in trouble."

"im jimin. park jimin. jimin is fine. but so is jiminie or chimchim."

"well, im jiyoo. your neighbor."

jungkook spoke up, "well that's nice, but I have to pee."

jiyoo jerked the wheel and the van swerved to the side, causing everyone to scream. 

"WHAT THE HECK WOMAN I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU COULD DRIVE!" jin yelled.

"but there was a rest stop. kookie needs to pee."

she pulled the car into the rest stop parking lot and everyone unloaded themselves from the car. 

kookie went to pee, and namjoon went to the vending machine for snacks. 

you guys...

out of 10.1k in crack im #352. 

that sounds kinda sad but in reality its an accomplishment.

also...#4 in hitmanbang...

first of all someone give this man a bit more respect. 

y'all only have 38 in hitmanbang.

UnAcCePtAbLe My DuDeS

And idk why I keep writing this book because its a train wreck in every sense but I have a plan for it I swear. it is going somewhere. anyway, I'd like to make a special chapter about bob gucci parrapio the pigeon at some point. idk. so you can look forward to that I guess.

ALSO I CANT GET ENOUGH OF MOTS7 I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT GO STREAM IT AND WATCH ON BECAUSE THEY KILLED IT 

anyways thanks for reading

please comment and vote even if you think this sucks because it totally makes my day and ill follow you and love you forever. im depressing that way.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜I purple y'all.💜💜💜💜💜💜💜