[They can't picture him kill.
They can't picture a killer kill]
"You kill?" she faintly asked as the man pressed the knife against her back.
"Kill me."
||
Emily Blue's destiny, which she thought would turn out as pale as chalk, changed dramatically...
The strongest people find the courage and caring to help others, even if they are going through their own storm.
-Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
∆∆∆
WHAT is mind?
Where is the mind?
As a human, a living human, we have thoughts. Jin thoughts, and Jin has a mind.
Mind, defined as abstract concept used to characterize thoughts, feelings, subjective states, and self-awareness, says a site called goodtherapy dot com.
It is difficult, indeed, to control what is on our mind, what we are thinking at any given moment. But we are aware, aware when we are not thinking about what we should be thinking. Aware, when our thoughts are telling us to do things we shouldn't be doing.
But Seokjin, as cliché as it might sounds, in several series of time, can not be aware of what is on his mind, can not take the wheel of his own mind.
Feelings then will control his whole being, once he can take the wheel after he lost it.
Anger, turmoil, guilt, guilt and guilt.
●●●
"Shrek?" The man voiced out as he sat on the sofa by her side.
Blue flinched, diverting her eyes from the screen. You can't blame anyone that's always on edge when they're in the presence of a murderer.
"Yeah," she cleared her throat. "The second movie."
Seokjin 'ooh'ed as he wiped his wet hands onto his jeans. Blue had to force herself not to search for any hint of blood spots on his outfit articles, and just focus on the green ogre and his donkey playing in front of her.
As if the situation can get more absurd,
"Can we change it to the news for a sec?" He asked, tilting his head while he stared at the woman.
This time, Blue did not offer him even a single glance. She was quite sure she'd pee her pants off if she did. After trying to get her thumb pressing the remote without shaking, the station changed. Blue almost jumped from her sitting when she saw the headline.
A murder.
A fucking murder.
THE MURDER OF A SUSPECT IN THE SEOUL CITY GOLD BANK BURGLARY
"Jin was that you?" She questioned before she knew it.
Seokjin didn't reply, didn't even bother to look at her. His face stoic, cold, and his breathing was as calm as a sleeping one could be.
Blue heaved out a shaky breath when she turned her head to the side and looked at the man. It was creepy, the way his eyes were clouded with whatever emotion it was, while his body language was a mystery itself. No movements, except for the breathing chest.
"Initial L was facing burglary alongside murder charges and next week would be his trial. The body was found brutally beaten up and hand print around the neck, indicating a squeezing movement that cut the airflow. The police is still investigating for traces and critical evidence in search of the killer."
The female voice from the television somehow hit Blue on the head like a brick. It hit her that the wanted murderer was in her house, fed her breakfast, washed her dishes, and is now by her side watching the news about himself.
"Jin I-" she squeaked out pathetically, almost fainting when the man stood up and stared at her. Backing away further onto the sofa, "I think you need to go," she rushed out.
Jin simply glanced at the window for a couple seconds. "Snow's heavy," he contemplated, "not possible."
And then, as fast as one can be, he laid himself on the couch, head beside her thighs. She screamed bloody murder at his weird antics.
"Jin, please." She begged, on verge of crying. Her whole body shaking and her voice quivering. "Stop."
As tears started to blur her eyes, she can still see how his stare was fixed on her.
"If a criminal kills a criminal, whose fault is it? Who sinned? Was he the one who killed," he tilted his head, "wrong?"
Blue closed her eyes and shook her head not knowing.
"Hm?"
"I don't know," she answered, voice a whisper.
Jin hummed. At this point, Emily Blue didn't believe that she was able to breath normally before today.
"You wanna know what I think, Blue?" Blue felt the hairs behind her neck stood up, as if doing a standing ovation for the situation. And when a finger grazed her calf, she had to grit her teeth so hard not to scream.
"I've been waiting," Jin cooed, chuckling at the way goosebumps crowded her legs. Ever so slowly, he guided her palm onto his warm, beating chest.
"I've been waiting for someone to just fucking stab me here." He mused out. Warm breath fanning her wrist, a pair of lips almost touching the skin. "To erase all the feelings inside. Whether it is guilt, loneliness, affection, greed, anything."
"And then," Jin now placing her shaking palm onto his forehead. "I need them to stab me here too."
Blue cried. Not bothering to hold back the sound anymore, though still putting her free palm over her quivering mouth. She can not handle the gore of his explanation, the calm manner of his voice when mustering out cruel raw words of such negative actions.
"To erase," Jin reached out his other hand to sweep away her streaming tears. "The darkness inside. Every single bits of it."
●●●
Knock knock knock!
Knock knock!
Oh how Blue hoped someone was playing knock knock joke with her somewhere in the dreamland.
Knock knock knock!
"Blue open up!"
And that was all it took for her to open her eyes.
"Blue! It's freeeeezing uh!"
That's Jin.
No no no no, Blue chanted like a mantra. "Oh my days, good God. I thought he went for good." She is so not letting the man stepping a foot inside her house. No.
"EMILY BLUE IT'S SNOWIIIIIING WEEEEEEE!!"
Is he drunk?She shook her head. She can't let herself pity him. No. You can pity pretty much everybody, Blue, just not him.
"Teehee! I got a snow on my nose!!" Laughing roared outside. She cursed herself for getting her flat on the lowest floor.
Blue almost cried, contemplating to just jump through the back window, when Jin sang 'Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer.' It was right there when she decided that she didn't want any of her neighbours to find a freezing body on her doorstep.
Holding back her tears, she walked out of the room towards the front door. She winced when the sound of lock clicking rang through the hallway.
Seokjin gasped as he saw the door opening, as if it was the gate to Eden. "Blue!" He smiled, shaking his head to get rid of the snow, then stepping inside.
"I am letting you in because you are drunk and it's cold outside." She muttered.
"You look so good Blue! Can we have sex?"
●●●
Oh my goodness, been a while since I updated... but geez, I'm really thankful and happy for the reads. It's just... aaAaaAaaa i luv u guys so much!
Thank u once again for reading till this far. 💜 and don't forget to luvurself.
I want u guys to squint a lil at how Blue and Jin act around each other. How can they be able to feel comfortable with each other when they're literally strangers?
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PLEASE VOTE ☄️
Please note that the "author notes" above isn't the latest notes from me, because I only edit the story text, just to give it a sense of,,, kinda like to remind me how I started writing when somewhere along the way I finish this story.
Oh! and this. I had to do time jumps in this chapter, to get the feel of the fast and rapid pace of the main leads relationship. Because it is a key to this book. It'll be more obvious, their fast relationship, in the chapters coming.
Have a great day my loves, thank you for reading and waiting this far. Hope you enjoyed the read <3 stay safe, xoxo!!
