Don't Judge By The Cover

Chapter 2

Matthias

I woke up to the sun and snarled at it. It had no right being that happy. Then again, I had no right to be sad. I swung my feet off the bed and placed them on the ground. My hands covered my face when my bedroom door swung open. I immediately grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around me. Curse my lack of pajama shirts. My baby brother stepped into the room.
   
"Em? Momma has breakfast if you comes downstairs."
   
"Good morning to you too, Adrian. Tell momma I'll be down in a minute. Kay? Love you."
   
"Kay. Love you too Em."

    He shut the door, and the loneliness came back.

I threw on some jeans and brushed my teeth. I looked down in the mirror at the scars on my sides.

    "Disgusting," I mumbled. "You're an idiot. Worthless. No one actually likes you, they have to pretend because you're their teammate."

    I grabbed my shaving razor and held it up to my arm, then stopped. I couldn't risk Adrian seeing the blood, plus it might soak through my sleeves and that's just a mess. Plus the game... yeah it's better not to do this right now.

    I throw on my black sleeves and my football jersey. Take one look in the mirror, snarl again, and head downstairs for breakfast.
   
"There's my baby boy!"
   
"Hey mom! How did you sleep?" I manage to get out as she basically strangles me.

She doesn't love you as much as the other kids. You mean nothing to her. It would take a lot off of her plate if you weren't here.

    I forced a smile through the hug, and had to try so hard not to cry after she let go.

    I grabbed a plate of bacon and eggs and sat at the table, watching the rest of my family file in. Ironically, in age order. First, Anna, then Hailey, then Lucy followed by Adrian. My dad came in last and kissed my mom on the cheek.
   
"Hailey and Anna, we need to leave in like 5 minutes to get to school."
   
"Kay. Thanks loser."

    I headed out to get the truck started. I sat down in the driver's seat, and pulled back my sleeve, tracing my fingers over the now white scars that cover my wrists.
   
You deserve this. No one in that house could care less if you were to just disappear. No one would even notice. You're nothing.

    I heard the door next to me open and somehow made it look like I wasn't hiding my wrist from Anna.
   
"You ok? You look like you're about to cry."
   
"Cry? What are you an idiot? Please. I'm fine." She looked skeptical.
   
"You sure? I've never seen you look like that before."
   
"Anna, seriously," I chuckle, "I'm fine."
   
"Ok. If you say so."
    We pull into the school parking lot, I shut off the ignition, grab my bag, and close the door.
   
"Hey Loser!"
    I turn my head towards Anna.
   
"I love you."

I shake my head, smiling.
    "Love you too, dork."
   
She's lying. She could care less about you. She wouldn't notice if you weren't here.