Don't Judge By The Cover

Chapter 6

Justin

I ran into the hospital like a mad man. Well, actually that's a lie. I'm sure if Matt could tell me to say something, that's what he would tell me to say. But he can't tell me that... anyway back to the story.

    I walked into the hospital, trying to calm myself down. To keep myself sane and not have a panic attack. Although every cell in my body was telling me that I needed to freak out and never come back down to a normal level. I knew that the Dendral's needed someone to be calm and collected while they focused on Matt. But man, I can't lose that kid. We need him. I need him. He's my best friend.

    The nurse led me to the emergency waiting room, where I saw Mrs. Dendral, Anna, and Hailey.

    "Oh thank God you came," said Mrs. Dendral. "Do you know why he could have done this? Oh please tell me you have answers!"

    "Mrs. D, I'm sorry. I have no idea what went through Matt's head. I think... I think missing the ball last night was the tipping point."

    "Oh my Lord, Justin, I can't lose my baby!" She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed, soaking my shirt with the tears only a mother could cry.

    "I can't lose him either, Mrs. D. He's keeping me sane too."

Just then my mom walked into the room, she looked around, spotted us, and picked up her pace.

    "Oh, Marcy. Come here."

    My mom opened her arms up, her eyes pleading and full of sorrow. Mrs. Dendral slowly released me, and focused her attention to my mom.

    "You know," I jumped at the sound of Anna's voice right behind me, "no one is going to judge you for crying. I can see that you need to, Justin. I can see it in your eyes. You can let go."

    "No, Anna. I can't. Because if I let something go, the rest will flood out too. I have it under control, at least for the time being. Plus, this is your chance to be weak. You could have lost your brother tonight, I'm here for you. I am not the one that needs comforting right now."

    "He's your best friend, you're basically his brother. You are allowed to grieve with us, Justin. You're as much a part of our family as he is."

    "Anna, I am grieving. Right now, I am here for your family. I need to support you. That's how I grieve. I promise.  If I need to cry or scream, I'll do so at home. This isn't the place for it."

    Just as I finished my sentence, a nurse in pale pink scrubs walks into the waiting room.

    "Mrs. Dendral?"

    Mrs. Dendral picked her head up and made eye contact with the nurse.

    "Yes?"

    "Can you come with me please?"

    Mrs. Dendral's eyes grow with hope and sorrow as she walks towards the nurse, passing Anna and I. Anna grabs her mom's arm, and looks at her like she can say something with her eyes.

    "Don't worry, I'll come back with answers. I promise."

    Anna lets go of her arm and watches her disappear into the third room down. I assume that's where Matt is being treated. All I want to do is run into his room and scream "Why?" I know I can't, and I know Matt will explain why when he is ready, but I have to know why. Why would he do something like this? Did one of our teammates hurt him? How long has he felt like this? Could I have done something to help him? Why didn't he tell me about it? Like Anna said, we're practically brothers. Why wouldn't he tell me? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt him? Was...

    "Sweetie? Let's go sit down," I felt a grasp around my forearm and jerked my head up. It was Mom. She smiled sadly at me, and then I realized that my hands were in my hair and my heart was pumping at a steady rate of too high. I nodded and let her lead me to a chair, where Anna met me on the other side.

    "I told you we would be here if you break. I'm always here for you, Justin."

    Anna leaned her head onto my shoulder and closed her eyes, tears still falling off of her cheeks.

    All I could think was 'Man, Matt better be alive. His sister needs me, and boy, do I have something I need to tell him.'