From Ashes and Snow

Late At Night.

Chapter 34: Late at Night.

It was the middle of the night when Fyr spoke.

Snow was piling softly against the window and the hounds were snoring in front of the dying fire.  Fyr had taken my invitation with open arms and had spent the night in my room, drinking my best attempt to recreate Tora's frost-berry tea. She laughed and talked animatedly as the candle-light flickered and spluttered, showering the massive hounds with affection, but I could see that sadness still clung to her.

"I – I..." She stared up at the canopy, small hands folded on her stomach. "I feel guilty even saying this. You've lost everything and I...have lost very little compared to that. I don't want to burden you."

The furs rustled as I turned to her. I had been half-awake anyway. Sleep was rare for me, and every dream was a twisted darkness of fire and bodies lying in the snow. "A loss is a loss. No matter how many, or how little."

"This doesn't leave this room?"

"Of course."

Her fingers knotted together. Even with my keen eyesight, I didn't want to look at the grief on her face. So, I lay beside her and stared up at the canopy, my hands folded on my stomach too.

"I had a son once." She whispered to me. "Eoin. I fell in love with another Magin. He's a Magister too now, I think. We used to sneak away after lessons and spend evenings by the lake, discussing everything from our spells, to our wishes for the future. And even with all the poultices I had been taking, I fell pregnant."

Oh Fyr.

"Eoin was adored. He was the splitting image of his father, and even though I was young when I had him, the academy supported me in my studies." She let out a humourless laugh. "I suppose they wanted me to stay at Asthan because the son of two promising Magins would most definitely become powerful himself."

Fyr paused as Arno raised his head, amber eyes gleaming in the darkness of the room. He surveyed the both of us before rising groggily. Fyr was silent as the massive hound launched himself onto the bed and nestled near the foot, resting his head on Fyr's lap. Absently, she stroked his head.

"When he was six, Aran took him out onto the lake. The boat went over and even with Aran's abilities, he couldn't fit the cold water shock. By the time, he managed to Cast again, Eoin was gone. Vanished to the dark depths of the lake and...just – gone."

"Fyr..." I reached for her hand and held it tight. "I am sorry."

Arno whined lowly, amber eyes fixed on the Magister. This was a rare moment of concern from the hound who disliked most people.

"Don't be sorry. I had six wonderful years with my boy and it had been a mindless accident. If he had been taken from me like your friends were, I think I would have been as determined as you."

I squeezed her hand. "Even more so."

"Thank you."

"And I know it's hard. I've never had a child so I can't possibly imagine what that's like, but I can feel some of what you feel." I could imagine little Heslan as a brother, but not a son. He had been everyone's little brother, cared for and loved deeply. I had blood brothers too, and the thought of losing them to the seas where they would be fishing today, was a hellish thought.

I should write to them.

"This is a new beginning for me," Fyr cleared her throat. "The Legion has given me purpose. Something to think about other than Eoin."