From Ashes and Snow

Influence.

Chapter 39:  Influence

There is something in the set of Mahon's jaw as he approached hat un-nerved me. A flicker of familiarity, or disappointment that is evident in the way he looked  over me. I scowled at him good-naturedly, resisting the urge to run a hand over my hair. The man seemed able to sniff out alcohol in my system even though I had scrubbed myself deliriously clean and eaten enough to curb the bite in my stomach. Human alcohol made me hungry.

"You seem to have recovered, Aviana," Was the first thing Mahon murmured as he reached us. My scowl deepened and my gaze cut to Greydon whose pallor was grey. He managed a weak smile, but the man who had been animatedly talking with the Captains had wilted now.

"That was nothing but a minor hiccup." I waved away his apparent concern, annoyed by the knot in his brow.

"You should be glad that none of our guests saw you," Mahon reprimanded tightly.

That annoyance died quickly, the same guilt returning. Selfish! I knew Mahon was concerned for the Legion's reputation and I had thrown it under a runaway cart because I was sad. He expected more of me and I felt strangely upset that he was disappointed in me.

Lips pressing tight, I replied. "I know. I am sorry, Captain. I was just...upset."

A shadow flickered in his expression. "You have every right to be upset Aviana, but there are healthier ways of dealing with your grief."

My gaze flickered to him again, taking in the crease in his brows. The concern etched into the lines beside his mouth. Words withered and died, and I felt in that moment that he was not disappointed in me, only concerned.

A lump hardened in my throat, and I couldn't look away from those dark blue eyes that held mine so effortlessly. He could look at me without flinching, but sometimes I felt a tug in my lower stomach and a skittish nervousness when I looked at the Captain that I didn't like.

Swallowing that lump, I replied, "I know."

A moment passed. Maybe two. Then, Greydon cleared his throat and my attention snapped to him quickly. "The Captains wish to speak with you, Aviana."

I groaned lowly. "Wonderful."

We were not noticed at the far end of the hall, but as we broke away from the shadows that clung to the corners, one noticed me and then it swept through them like panic through a herd of deer. They watched me critically, eyeing me from the tip of my boots to the unruly curls springing from my braid.

I quashed the sudden wish that I had been born with Elvish hair. Straight, sleek and beautiful. I had human hair – not quite like my father but maybe my aunts. They had never deigned to meet with me or my brothers because of what we were, but I had caught glimpses of them here and there. At least they had never spat at me.

Stop. You are Aviana Birchwood. These Captains are wary of you and let them be. I repeated those words over and over again, pasting a smile as their full attention fell onto me. They were impossibly quite, their mouths wired shut for once.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. I apologize for my delay, but there were urgent matters to be dealt with. "

Greydon huffed out a breath. I ignored him and took a seat near the top of the row of tables. They settled together, the benches scrapping against the floor. Scanning them, I waited for a flicker of ice behind my breastbone but I felt nothing. I had sensed something with Vossen, but I had been to clueless to know what it was.