Dust to dust.
Ashes to ashes.
May I be the only thing that continues to thrive in this once loved and proud Victorian home. Who has most definitely seen better days. Who had once had the privilege to hear the laughs of many but has seen the pain of...
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I sent a little prayer towards the ruffled giant with sad eyes and made an invisible getaway from the testosterone that cooped up the room. I told myself not to be a coward, but ultimately my cowardliness ways got the better of me. So now I am slowly walking the halls of the first floor in my Victorian home as I wait to come across my new family members.
Everything was so bare, like a newborns bottom. No furniture littered the halls, no painting coated the walls, no portraits of countless of other families that use to dot these walls. I've come to realization that I hated that. Leaving the room bare showed the imperfections of this home, the neglect, the abuse, the pain. My pain, my suffering, my grief, my mental state was shown bairn in every room that I now come across.
However I knew it would only be for a moment, a moment before the house would be coated in new furniture, new paint, new drawings, new everything. But would that really change anything? The house would just continue to be spoiled in useless materialistic items that wouldn't change the fact that blood, sweat and tears have been engraved in these walls. Can this new family bare to understand the horrors that use to run rapt in these halls, or the evil acts in the bedroom to the unimaginable deeds that use to take place in the basement, living room and bathrooms?
Can they handle it? Will they ignore it like countless of other families, or can they try to relieve the pain and suffering of this home?
Can they help me?
Who am I kidding I will never leave these walls, you won't let me my love.
"Enough!" I shook my headas I try to relieve myself of my sudden onset of depressing thoughts and finally put my mind to use to finding the rest of the members. "It would be nice if they were all together in one room," I mutter distastefully before I shot my head up as I could make out the voices of more people at the front door. Most of the men from what I could make out where here, including Gabriel- who I know goes by Gabe- Luke, the three men from the kitchen-North and Marc, the two names that were thrown around and the gentle giant- to the smiling man from the hallway to the countless of other heads that were outside.
Fourteen heads!
Fourteen MALE human beings were going to live in my home for however long they see fit. I leaned against the wall, my head in my hands as I fist my hair. There was never this many people under one roof. Never this many who roamed about on the weary floorboards, its surprising that they haven't snapped under some of their weight already. I don't know whether to be ecstatic or afraid. It wasn't hard to hide from a family of four to five but fourteen? Can I possible even roam these halls without passing through them and leaving an icky feeling to both parties?
Can I even enjoy the little moments of peace in the room I once called mine? Will I ever have a moment without eavesdropping on conversations that don't apply or are subjected to me? Where will I stay in my home? The attic? The basement? In his office? My room was gone, any existence that would have been remotely useful to my new family that could possibly help me achieve my so longed wish is slipping through my fingers like golden Egyptian sand. What will I become? Would I go back to the days when I first awoke, how I dread those days all those years ago. Would I throw them out like the last family? Make them feel my rage that held no bounds and force them to leave?
Do I want to be like that again? Will I have to be?
Stressing about it won't change anything but put further frustration on myself. Deal with it as it comes, if I have to circulate around the home I will. What right does it give me to cast out my new family it would make me no different than him.
We would be the same and I hate that more than anything.
The voice of another man broke the loop of negative thoughts that once again plagued my mind as a crack echoed against the wall above my head. "The agent said this house hasn't been lived in since 2005. Which was fifteen years ago, can you believe that Corey!" A sad expression donned my face as I realize how many years I've been alone staring at that wall faking rest to ease the loneliness ache in my heart.
They sound so happy about the house, how can I even think about kicking them out.
"Image all the spiders and little creepy crawlers that are all over the house," continued the rough but smooth voice that calmed my frazzled nerves as he talked a little too loudly which had caught most of the men's attention. Removing my head from my hands and turning my head towards the door I was met with another well-toned behind whose sun-kissed blonde waves glimmered off of the window of the front door as his hand covered the smile that rested on his lips. Leaning slightly towards another man who was identical to him - well from the back that is.
"Aye, you fucker! Don't start sprouting useless shit or else I'll fucking make you eat those nasty eight-legged fuckers!" Gabriel's voice echoed around the hallway before my giggles let loose as I could hear the fear and disgust that his voice carried. My giggles weren't the only thing that was heard from my own ears but the countless of belly-filled laughter accumulated around the home. Leaving my insides feeling warm and my cheeks to hurt a bit from how happy I was at that moment.
"Mr. Coleman language," the voice carried authority that command anything he said to be well respected. Reminds me of you my love I whimpered in my head as I started to shake, closing my eyes as the lights in the hallway and kitchen flickered.
"Woah, what the hell is happening?" The men at the door turn towards the hallway as their faces pale a bit as the lights cease to flicker. I turned away from them, putting my hand against the wall as I move my body down the hall and towards the stairs that now creak and groan under my weight to make a "quick" getaway. At the top of the stairs I zoom my way into the one room I can stand long enough to be in, forcefully ripping it open as it bangs off the wall before being slammed shut. I shake uncontrollable as I stumble into my once claimed room and fall to my knees in front of the mirror, eyes wide and mouth agape to let out quick breaths.
