I woke in the middle of the night and got up to go to the loo, only to find Josh standing at the mirror. He startled me and I visibly jumped, "Jesus," I sighed, putting my hand against my pounding chest.
"I am pretty frightening... aren't I." He muttered and I noticed that his voice sounded less crackly now.
"I just didn't expect you to be lurking around in the dark, that's all," I tried to laugh it off.
"Been doing it for nearly three months, why stop now?"
His sense of humour could be dry at times but I could tell that he was feeling low by the way his words lacked emotion.
"Don't you think you should get some rest?"
"Haven't been able to sleep."
"Want to come and talk?"
"No."
"Well... I need the toilet so you'd better scram."
He turned and left the room without looking my way, so I hurried to use the toilet before heading out to find him.
"You don't have to keep checking up on me, Sam... I'm not going to attack you in your sleep."
He was sitting on the couch and I joined him, bringing my legs up to hug my knees as I sat facing him.
"I'm 'checking up on you' because I want to make sure you're okay, not because I'm scared of you... I think you should at least try and sleep."
He was quiet and looked at the floor.
"Josh...?"
"I tried to sleep."
"Try again then."
He shook his head, "I... saw things I didn't want to see... things from in the mines... things that... I don't want to remember."
I looked away from him, feeling a little ill at the thought, and trying to figure out a solution.
"I don't want to go through it all again."
"Do you remember what happened now?"
"It faded when I woke up but I still feel horrible."
"Why don't you come and stay with me? And if you need to wake me up then I'll be right next to you."
"I don't want to scare you in the night."
"You won't. Come on, we both need to rest."
I took his hand and walked with him to the bedroom that I'd been sleeping in. I clambered back under the covers but he lay on top of them. It was kind of unsettling but I tried not to dwell on it as I got comfortable and began to drift off.
I was startled awake when I felt someone grab my arm and I heard someone shouting. I was half asleep and in a daze so it took a minute to register what was going on, and I turned to see Josh sitting up next to me. He was wide awake and looked in a complete state of panic, and his fingers were painfully curling into the flesh of my arm.
"Josh!" I tried to snap him out of it but when he looked round at me, he seemed to become more agitated. He let go of my arm then and backed away, falling off of the bed and dragging himself back against the wall where he covered his face with his arm and wailed into his sleeve. I got up quickly, taking the blanket too, and wrapped it around him.
"Its okay, I've got you," I tried to comfort him but I was struggling not to panic too. I didn't know what to do with him-how was he ever going to sleep?
"This isn't real!" He wept, "this whole place isn't real! You're not real!"
"I am real, you're here with me now and this is real, okay? Josh? Listen to what I'm saying to you-"
"You're not real!" He pushed the blanket away weakly and cried harder when I draped it over him once more.
It took a long time before the effects of the dreams had worn off and I managed to console him-by which time I was feeling drained and exhausted.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what's real," he said in a frail voice.
"This is real, I promise."
"I can't trust you," he looked at me, "if this is all in my head then... then of course you would say that..."
"I'm not in your head, Josh. I-"
"Can we just... stop talking? It isn't helping."
"Of course," I put my arm over his shoulder and we both sat on the floor, covered by the blanket, and taking a little comfort in each others company.
