the rewrite is out; read it instead please :)
==============================
"I want you and you want me, so what's the harm, babygirl?"
==============================
She was the "bad guy" of the school, if you will. Me, on the other hand, was what...
TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of self harm, verbal abuse
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
^ Hope's Outfit
Hope's POV Friday, February 19th
It's been two weeks since Billie was sick. That night, we cuddled, watched The Office, and just talked. When I had fallen asleep, I was woke up by yet another nightmare. It felt so real that I woke up and had a full blown panic attack. Billie had eventually calmed me down, but it took a while for me to go back to sleep.
I just don't understand why I'm having these nightmares. I'm over Madeline. I don't want her. I have Billie and she's all I need. I don't need Madeline. I'm over her.
But I'm not over what she done to me. I'm not over seeing her bloodied and cut wrists that she blamed me for. I'm not over her cheating on me every week for over two years. I'm not over her verbally abusing me. I'm not over the countless nights I'd spent crying myself to sleep because of her.
I just don't get why I'm just now having these nightmares. I hadn't seen her for almost eight months and I was fine for the last five or six of those. But as soon as she came back, it's like I'm still in that toxic relationship with her.
I don't get it.
The Sunday after Billie was sick, I had finally went to Josh's new house. It was two stories with six bedrooms and two bathrooms. It was really nice. By the time he had properly introduced me to his friends/roommates, gave me a house tour, and just chilled out, it was too late for me to try and make the three hour drive back home.
So me and Aiden stayed the night with him, sleeping in the two guest rooms. I couldn't get to sleep without Billie though, so we FaceTimed and she sang me to sleep.
I don't think I could ever get over how good she can sing. I swear it's like an Angel was sent down to bless my ears. I loved it.
The song she sang was interesting. From what I heard before I fell asleep, it's about someone who loves someone else, but the person they love isn't interested. It was one of those songs that felt like it physically hurt.
I've been meaning to ask Billie about it, but haven't been able to because I've been too caught up in school work to ask her. But I didn't have any homework or due assignments so now was the time to ask her.
I shifted slightly from my place in her lap, fiddling with one of her many chains that she had around her neck. "Hey, Bil?"
"Yes, my love?" She asked, her thumbs rubbing small circles onto my exposed waist.
"Remember that song that you sang to me when I was at Josh's?" She nodded her head. "Did you write it from an actual experience or was it just made up? I mean... you've just never really told me about your past."
She never really has spoke about her past to me. Yeah, she's told me about her first kiss, a few stories here and there, but never actually in detail. I really didn't even know if she'd had past relationships.
She hesitated for a moment. "It was from an actual experience." I frowned but she continued. "But I wrote it from the perspective of someone that I hurt."
"Oh." I didn't know what else to say other than that simple word.
"It was a girl." She started. "She'd always hang out with me. She'd do all kinds of shit to try and impress me. I never really paid her any attention though. I... I never wanted a relationship before this year." She mumbled the last sentence.
"I'd always look at her like she was see through. I hurt her. One day she confessed her love to me and I... I just laughed in her face and walked off." She sighed.
"I did this a lot. I'd blow people off and never really paid them any attention. I never wanted a relationship or to fall in love... that was until I met you." She said, finding my hands and holding them tightly. "When I saw you, I felt something I'd never felt before. I just had this odd feeling to... protect you. Then when you came to the party that day I met you, I just thought you was... just this beam of light in my life."
"I'd never wanted something so bad in my life until I met you. I honestly thought that I'd never get you. I thought I'd push you away like I did with everyone else. But I didn't and I'm so so happy that I didn't." She smiled. "I got everything I ever wanted with you."
—————— End Of Story ——————
a/n wowowow it's the end of the book. this book has been such an amazing journey. i remember when it hit 10k reads and i almost cried lmfao. now just five months later and it's almost at 70k reads and 2k votes. thank you thank you thank you for sticking with me throughout this. i love you i love you i love you.
originally, i had planned a lot more chapters for this, but at this point i can't find it in me to write any more chapters. i wish i could because this book is my actual baby, but i can't.
as for another book, i've got wrong number out. i've also got a book in my drafts that i'm working on. i want to get it right and get a bit of chapters wrote before i publish it though.
