"it will get better", something always said
but what if i were to tell you
it's 3am, i'm laying here in bed
once again my thoughts run wild
although i wish for a break
that won't come; not even it mild
i'm not lazy, i'm sick of your comparing
what would you think
if i were to be so daring
taking that leap of faith
not that you'd really care
wouldn't believe my words; thought they were a waste
if you were to listen maybe i'd be saved
although you're here now, lying me down in my grave
your words won't fix this,
what's done is done
all you can do now is dwell and miss.
will they care?
will they notice?
maybe they'll say it wasn't fair
they tried their best,
supported me, helped me
but even so i could never rest
my end note to them is all i could do
i hope the meanings they find in my stories stay true
a project that i never got to finish
one i called my own;
it'd be better off diminished
although, their thoughts differ
for that, i'm still greatful
i'm sorry i couldn't be something bigger.
to him; i'm so sorry
you never knew
what could i have said?
you were never the one to bore me
maybe i was nothing,
but i think i was something
i hope you see one day
there's more to life then wasting away
take off your poker face mask
let your guard down
don't pick up the flask
i'm here even now.
i hate this way
but, don't grief, it's okay
i was never going to live out these days
i'm not fit for that world;
expectations, judgements
these past few years have just been a whirl
i think, now, it's time
my greatest thanks
for the moments i spent feeling alive;
i'm not proud of what's wrote
maybe you haven't seen; but all i can say
this is my end note
