A Promise Is A Promise (COMPLETED)

If Only I Can

Irene's POV

After the dinner Serene went to sleep already and after securing her, I checked on Seulgi. She was watching but I can see that she's really out of herself.

I sat down beside her and said, "Penny for your thoughts?"

She looked surprised. Then she stared at me and her tears just started to fall like rain. "It hurts Irene... I just want to be numb of everything." Seeing her like this makes me want to cry as well but I need to be strong for her. I hugged her and rubbed her back. "It's okay Seul. Cry out everything. I'm just here and I'm not going anywhere."

It took sometime for her to stop from crying. She must have endured that pain for so long. As soon as she calmed down I stood up to get a water for her.

"Here drink this." I said as I hand her the water.

"Thank you Baechu. I'm sorry for all the trouble."

I shaked my head. "Don't think about it. You're not a trouble." She smiled and then drank the water.

She was about to stand up but I took the glass and told her to just sit down. After that I sat down beside her and signalled her to lie down on my lap. She looked at me confusedly.

"Come on Seul. Lie down. Put your head on my lap and then rest more."

"Are you sure?"

"Haist this girl." I just forced her to lie down. At first she was a little bit uncomfortable but soon she settled. She was lying sideways facing the TV in front of us while I carressed her hair over and over again hoping to calm her more.

"I was so young when appa left us. We were the best buddies. He will always play with me and will always back me up to omma. We were pretty much happy until he changed. My mom started to cry most of the time while my dad barely comes home. When he left us, we got kicked out in the apartment that we're living in. So we have no choice but to live with a relative that treated us like shit. I had to do part time job, take care of Yeri and study all at the same time. It's been tough but I managed..we managed to survive. My mom and I worked hand in hand in everything until I've got discovered while performing in school. It saved us big time honestly. If I haven't been an actress, I would have not support my mom. My mom... she was so happy years ago when I told her that I will ask you to marry me." Then she chuckled. "She really likes you a lot, I think more than me and she said that she's really excited to witness our wedding." She paused for a few seconds and then continued. "When we broke up, I've lost myself and I've lost sight of the people around me. I haven't showed myself to her and Yeri, I would always throw myself in work and soon they told me that mom's condition have really worsen. Nobody told me cause they said that mom wanted to wait until I'm okay but then they came to the point that they can't wait for me so they told me and it's already too late." Then she started crying again. "I hate myself for being like that. My mom have been through a lot already but then I just added more to her stress that's why her condition got worsen.

I can still vividly remember our conversation. "Seulgi, I'm so tired already. I wanted to go now."

"I'm so sorry for being such a bad daughter. If you're tired mom, you can rest now."

"Do you know what's holding me back in resting?"

I shaked my head. "It's you. I've been worried about you. I wish I have been more stronger to give you support and comfort. But I guess, I'm such a loser. I failed as a mother."

"No mom..It's a lie. You're the best mom in the whole world." I tried not to cry at that time. My poor mother thought of that because of how miserable my life have become.

"Can you promise me that you will be okay Seul? That you will help yourself at some point?"

I nodded and smiled. "I promised."

I felt so so bad but I can't turn back the hands of time. And soon she passed away. I tried to end all my pain at some point but Yeri came and stopped me. Then the year after that I met you again and when you told me that you don't love me anymore I got triggered again. I became a self-destructive person and it took me almost my life just to realize what kind of person I have become. I'm so so bad that I even forget that I have promised her. I have wasted years of my life for being such a miserable person."

Shit, I can't help anymore but cry. "I'm sorry Seul. If I only I have given you another chance. Auntie could have been...You could have...." My tears kept on pouring like a rain and soon Seulgi sit up, wiped her tears and faced me.

"Baechu, it's not your fault. Now that I think of it and with my dad, it's really hard to give a second chance specially to a love one that have betrayed your love and trust. Just seeing him brought back all the pain. You must have felt the same thing when we saw each other years ago after so many years."

I nodded at her but didn't say anything.

"I honestly don't know what to feel right now. I'm so confused. How can I ask for a second chance if I myself can't give it as well" She added.

"Give yourself a time Seul. It takes time. Specially if wounds are reopening again." She sighed and said. "I guess your right."

"But there's one thing, I'll assure you Seul. He's a changed for good man. I hope you can find a place in your heart to forgive him... so that you can fully heal as well."

Then she lie down on my lap again, this time facing me. She looked at me and smiled. "Thank you for forgiving me Baechu. And thank you for tonight. I will patiently wait for you." Then she closed her eyes. "Can we stay like this for a moment?"

"Sure." Omooo my heart. I can't help but stare at her. Shit, here's my tears again. She have been through a lot and she's by herself. If only I can take away all her pain.

I was gonna kiss her forehead but she opened her eyes and instead I ended up kissing her lips. She pulled me in closer and she deepened our kiss. Gosh, my heart.