Me: "Can you pass me the banana!"
Cas: "That's a donut!"
Me: "I haven't slept in 2 day. I'm tired okay!"
Jax: "It's not my fault!"
Quin: *Spits out soda"
Cas: "Oh! So Jax hasn't been satisfying you?"
Me: "I will smack both of you!"
Quin: "How about you punish Jax tonight instead!" 😏
Me: "THAT'S IT!" *Smacks all 3 upside the head*
~~~~~~~
Roen, Firver & Vonza (Pomeranians): *Chase each other on the couch*
Lexi: "Watch as the sofa comes off the couch!"
Me: "You mean the cushions?"
Lexi: "I've had a long weekend!"
Jax: "You spent the weekend at your friends house!"
Lexi: "Yeah and she's loud and full of energy!"
Jax: "So is Keith and you don't hear me complaining!"
Me: "She didn't need to know that!"
Lexi (at same time): "I didn't need to hear that!"
~~~~~~~
Lexi: *Sits in back seat of car while I drive* "Hearing impaled child."
Jax: "WHAT?!"
Lexi: "The sign."
Me: "Did you mean hearing impaired child?"
Lexi: "That's what I said!"
Jax: "You said Impaled not impaired!"
Lexi: "Oh!"
Me: "If they were hearing impaled I'd be worried!"
~~~~~~~
Louis: "Can you put this in the shed for me."
Lexi: *Looks at milk jug* "The shed?"
Louis: 😆 "I meant the fridge!"
Me: "You said shed!"
Jem: "So now we put Milk in the shed and shovels in the fridge!"
Me: "Yep"
YOU ARE READING
Random Shit my Friends & Family Say
Non-FictionJust as the title says! My friends and family are weirdos so I'm making a book of random shit they've said. It also includes us just being our normal idiotic selves, us messing up words, or in my son's case: being cute! These are actual quotes from...
