Random Shit my Friends & Family Say

I Swear We Weren't High (1)

(Note: Please play the YouTube video)

Me: *Laying on the couch on my phone*

Jax: *Sitting on the floor on his laptop*

Me: *Starts to whistle*

Jax: "Mr. Todd."

Me: 😏"At your service. An honour to receive your your patronage, my lord"

Jax: "You know me, sir?"

Me: "Who in this wide world does not know the great Judge Turpin?"

Jax: "These premises are hardly prepossessing, and yet the Beedle tells me you're the most accomplished of all the barbers in this city"

Me: "That is gracious of him sir. What may I do for today you, sir? A stylish trimming of the hair? A soothing skin massage? Sit, sir. Sit"

[Sung]
Jax: "You see, sir, a man infatuate with love. Her ardent and eager slave. So fetch the pomade and pumice stone. And lend me a more seductive tone. A sprinkling perhaps of French cologne. But first, sir, I think a shave."

Me: "The closest I ever gave." *Whistles*

Jax: *Spoken* "You are in a merry mood today, Mr. Todd."

Me: "'Tis your delight, sir, catching fire from one man to the next"

Jax: "'Tis true, sir, love can still inspire, The blood to pound, the heart leap higher, What more"

Me: "What more"

Both: "can man require"

Jax: "than love, sir?"

Me: "More than love, sir,"

Jax: "What, sir?"

Me: "Women,"

Jax: "Ah yes, women."

Me: "Pretty women."

Jax: *Hums*

Me: *whistles* "Now then, my friend. Now to your purpose. Patience, enjoy it. Revenge can't be taken in haste."

Jax: "Make haste and if we wed, you'll be commended, sir"

Me :"My lord. And who may it be said is your intended, sir?"

Jax: "My ward. *Spoken* And pretty as a rosebud."

Me: *Spoken* "Pretty as her mother?"

Jax: *Spoken* "What? What was that?"

Me: *Spoken* "Oh, nothing, sir. Nothing, nothing, may we proceed? *Back to singing* Pretty women, Fascinating..., Sipping coffee, Dancing..., Pretty women, Are a wonder. Pretty women! Sitting in the window or, Standing on the stair, Something in them cheers the air. Pretty women"

Jax: "Silhouetted..."

Me: "Stay within you,"

Jax: "Glancing..."

Me: "stay forever,"

Jax: "Breathing lightly..."

Me: "Pretty women,"

Both: "Pretty women!"

Me: "Blowing out their candles or"

Jax: "blowing out their candles"

Me: "Combing out their hair,"

Jax: "combing out their hair, then they leave"

Me: "Even when they leave"

Jax: "even when they leave you and vanish"

Me: "They still are there."

Jax: "they somehow can still remain there with you"

Me: "They're there"

Jax: "they're there with you"

Both: "Pretty women"

Me: "at their mirrors,"

Jax: "In their gardens,"

Me: "Letter-writing,"

Jax: "Flower-picking,"

Me: "Weather-watching"

Both: "How they make a man sing! Proof of heaven... as you're living, Pretty women!"

Me: "Sir!"

Both: "Pretty women!"

Me: "Yes!"

Both: "Pretty women!"

Me: "Here's to"

Both: "all the Pretty women"

James: "SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO STUDY! I DON'T NEED TO HEAR YOU TWO SINGING SWEENEY TODD!"

Both: "It's our favourite song!"

James: "I Know! You danced to it at your wedding!"

Lexi: "Don't forget the fact that they know the whole movie by heart! They both could do a one man show for it!"

Me: "She's not lying we could."

(Yes me and my husband sang Pretty Woman for no reason!)

~~~~~~~

Lexi: "James are you Straight?"

James: "Yeah I'm straight! I'm American straight! I like males and females!"

Me: "WHAT?"

Louis: "I thought that was the French straight!"

Me: 🤣

James: "Then what's American straight?"

Jax: "Sex, Guns, Alcohol and Burgers!"

Lexi: "Japanese straight is Hentai!"

Louis: "Polish straight is a guy who talks like a Valley-Girl!"

Me: "Stop I can't breathe!"

James: "That's Italian straight!"

Lexi: "No Italian straight is Pasta, Not breathing is Bulgarian!"

James: "Only if the one making them not breath is Romanian otherwise it's strawberry yoghurt."

Jax: "I think we all watch way to much hetalia!"

Me: "You think?"

~~~~~~~

Me: "I'm am an Archangel also known as  Lucifer. Fear me!"

Jax: "I thought you were Castiel?"

James: "I thought he was God!"

Lexi: "Castiel is God!"

Louis: "No, he isn't! That was a joke."

Lexi: "Well I'm Anna!"

Louis: "I'm Crowley!"

James: "You two are idiots!"

Jax: "James is a Skin-walker!"

James: "No im either Loki or Sleipnir!"

Louis: "So who are you Jax?"

Jax: "Dean!"

Me: "Okay I'm Castiel!"

James: "Of course!"

Jax: "You're a Psychopath!"

Me: "High functioning sociopath!"

Lexi: "What?"

Louis: "He's Sherlock!"

James: "He's not even in this fandom!"

Me: "Ever hear of SuperWhoLock?"

Jax: "Just shut up all of you! Let's get in the car and figure out what angel, demon, or primordial being we are as we go to find costumes!"