Despair [updated] (GxG) (#JULIANTINA)

Chapter One

One month has passed.
One. Fucking. Month.
I take another swig of the mezcal bottle, finishing it.
"Fuck my life!" I yelled out to the emptiness that is my apartment.
I stumble back as I tried to stand up.
I felt a great need to go see Valentina, to tell her I love her and I miss her. I want to touch her beautiful face and make her smile.
I want to be with her, but...

I noticed that I already grabbed the keys off the hook.
"No, no, no, no! It's a bad idea."
I place them back, then wiped off my tear stained cheeks.
"It's a bad idea."
I try walking to my room, seeing that it was better for my well being.
I place the empty bottle of mezcal on the center table in the living room, grabbing my phone off of it. I stumble while doing such actions. I hold still, my head spinning as well as the room. I start to laugh at nothing, and as quickly as I began laughing, the tears came streaming down, the sadness settled in.
I gave up and slumped down on the couch and began having a mental breakdown. Maybe drinking isn't going to help me forget about her.
"STOPPP!" I cry out, feeling as if someone stabbed me multiple times and laughing at me right after.
I felt betrayed and used, for what?
I spend my whole life trying to find the love of my life, for what? So that someone can take them away just like that.
Fuck amnesia!

~~

"She doesn't remember me!"
I cried out to Sergio, who is silently judging my drinking behavior and disgusting crying. Maybe not the last one, but still.
I cover my eyes, "I don't want to be like this anymore!"
Sergio gently rubs my back, "And you're right, you shouldn't be like this for anyone, but..."
I frown at Sergio as I uncover my eyes,"but?"
He seems to not want to tell me but he sighs, knowing I will do what ever just to know.
"Valentina is an exception. She was your first love—"
"And only love!" I interrupted him.
He looks at me sadly, "don't say that! You don't know that!" He frowns, grabbing my hand and caressing it with his other.
I sniff my running nose, but Sergio saw that, so he gave me his handkerchief.
I burst into a small laugh, "Thanks!" I accepted it, feeling more tears streaming down.
"Hey! No more crying, stop that!" Sergio laughs, softly punching me on my upper arm.
I snort-laugh, "I'm pathetic, aren't I?"
He smiles at me, a smile so contagious that I smiled back.
"That day, she crashed...I crashed. I went to the hospital so did she. But..."
I look down at my hands, "it shouldn't have had happened."
Sergio lifts my head up, "It wasn't your fault!" He reassures what others have told me multiple times.
I disagree, "It was."

~~

Last night was a major blur, but the feeling wasn't inevitable. I drank way to much for my well being, so I took a cab and that's it, that's all I remembered. But Valentina is making a big deal out of it.
"You're fucking selfish, you could've gotten kidnapped or something worse!" She yelled at me, her face beet red and her fists balled up.
I clenched my jaw, trying not to let my anger out on her, because I wish I could.
I shook my head, "Wow!" I mumbled to myself.
Valentina didn't think I was taking her seriously or even listening to her so she pushed me.
"Stop that," I calmly said to her, my suave never faltering, even though I was this close to fight back.
And she pushed me again, "fuck you!" She retorted, walking away.
And that's when I felt a huge relief over me, because I don't have to argue with her anymore.
I see her walk out the apartment, which made me feel guilty which I'm not.
But I know where's she's going which is making me feel less guilty, but more heartbroken.
I walk into our bedroom and lay on top of the bed, thinking, thinking about what she must be doing with him. A tear fell down my cheek, quickly wiping it off.
I turn to my side and close my eyes with the thought of her and him.