Despair [updated] (GxG) (#JULIANTINA)

Chapter Four

Breathe!
Ever since yesterday I haven't been feeling okay.
I'm going to see Valentina, the one and only Carvajal that I've laid my eyes on.
She's the one who made me realize so many things about love and attraction.
"Fuck!"
No, I can't do this. I'm going to cancel.
I grab my phone and typed in the phone number but I hesitated to dial.
But I want see her and know what she's been doing!
"Fuck!"
A knock on the door freaked me out.
"What?" I squeaked, still startled from the sudden noise.
"The models are here! And you're needed ASAP!"
I breathe out, "be there in sec!"

I look down at my hands and try to calm down my breathing.
It's okay, she's not going to bite you. Just calm down and everything will be fine.
Act cool!
I adjust my glasses and put on my blazer.
"Act normal, act professional."
And I head out, not knowing what's coming for me.

•|•

"Okay, as you may all know, this is a gender less clothing lineup. It will incorporate revealing clothing and clothing that may be too much for others but appropriate for us. We don't give a damn about the white men in suits that tell us what or what not to do. This is a diverse space where everyone of every shape and color can part take," I look at the models, not seeing Valentina.
For a moment I felt relief, but I felt sad and disappointed.
"All of you were selected by me and my team because we think you all will be a great incorporation to our lineup. You all will showcase our creation and will be showing the world what the majority should be. Let's get everyone ready for this photoshoot and if you have any questions you are free to ask me or anyone working here."
I finished my talk, but still no sign of her.
I rub the nape of my neck and sigh, could she be avoiding me? But how could she, if she doesn't remember me!
I go and dress the models, adjusting to their sizes and shapes, making every curve and line count.
"All set and gorgeous!"
I say as I finish my last model.
I put my tools to the side table and rest on a chair.
Take a breather, Juliana.
I close my eyes and rest for a few minutes before the photoshoot begins.
Maybe she decided to leave this job because she's not really into this kind of thing anymore.
She used to love modeling and to model for my company but since she's lost control on herself and started drinking, she became distant.
"Valdes, sorry to interrupt but we have another model."
It couldn't possibly be her.
"Let them in!"
I didn't move or open my eyes afraid that she will be the model.
But needless to say, I had to. It's my job.
I open my eyes and nodded at her.
"You must be Valentina Carvajal?"
I ask her with the most professional tone there could be.
Her expression was a little off as she responded, "yes, that's me. Sorry that I was late it's just that—"
I cut her off, "no need, just get undressed and we'll get you ready before the photoshoot ends."
I turn around, feeling like my brain couldn't function no
more. My chest was starting to constrict the air and making me feel things.
Valentina why did you have to lose all your memories of me?
Everything for nothing.
I fists my hands as I try not to yell and cry for my pain.
I feel a hand touch me, trying to get me to turn around but I refuse.
"Why? Why me?" I whisper to myself, feeling if I don't get out of this room, I'm going to lose it.
"Juliana?"
She says my name, making me go into a deep void of sadness.
I dry off my tears and I turn to face her.
Her face, flawless and dewy. She's always been so caring for her face, always putting serums and toners, especially coconut oil because it gave her that dewy look.
I bite my tongue refusing to yell at her and make her remember with my words.
But she does something.
She steps closer to me, as I step back not knowing what were her intentions.
I knew, and something inside me wanted that to happen but something deeper gave me the sensation that she wasn't well aware of her feelings like before.
She steps closer, my back hitting the table as I try to hold myself, putting my hands on top of it.
Stop!
My mind screamed but she couldn't read my thoughts neither my intentions and then she did it.
She kissed me, putting her lips on mine engulfing me into a kiss that I've yearned for months.
Every night, every day.
Every hour, every minute, every second.
Her lips on mine and the day on loop until I closed my eyes and pushed her off me.
"Stop," I murmured with pain and disgust.
"No, I need to know if what they say it's true!"
I froze.
W-what?
My eyes wide and my jaw clenched.
So I was right, she doesn't remember.
"Hey, it's time!" One of my coworkers came in to inform us.
I nod not tearing my sight off Valentina, "Thank you."
I turn to look at her and I clear my throat, "Did you get your answer?"
And walk away, knowing damn right she did not because it doesn't work that way.
Love doesn't function like that.