After the usual public displays of affection are outlawed, Alexei and Maria are careful to show their love only through the three approved methods. When Alexei tells Maria some exciting news, they forget themselves and hold hands. They're sure the t...
The whole walk home makes me feel like everyone's eyes are on me even more than usual. I pick up the pace to something resembling a bike race, eager to get home as fast as possible. As we round the corner onto my block, I am eager to see if Ma has drawn the curtains yet. I am in desperate need of a place where no one can see me.
My brain is running at super speed, trying to remember what will become of us if anyone decides to alert the authorities to our affection. I don't know exactly how long we had held hands, but I'm fairly certain it was more than the approved three seconds. I need my mom.
Alexei and I are careful to keep our cool until we close the door of my house. The worry is written all over his face the second we are out of view from the street.
"What are we going to do?" he whispers as he runs his hand through his hair and massages his own neck. "I held your hand."
I smiled at the memory, despite the dangerous situation we have put ourselves in.
"Maria, I held your hand in public," he is trying to get me to understand, I think.
"I know, and it was nice," I am still smiling. "I think we should be allowed all the time."
"Maria!"
His frustration draws me back to the reason we are here. I swallow the lump now forming in my throat and take off my coat.
"Ma!" I call out as I take off my boots. "Would you please come to the foyer?"
I haven't even put my boots away when she appears from around the corner to the kitchen, wiping her hands on the towel she has tucked into her apron. "What's the matter, dear? You look as though you've seen a ghost."
I stutter, searching for the words to explain what just happened, but my mouth doesn't want to cooperate with me so I just end up sighing and throwing my hands up in defeat.
"If it is acceptable to you, I will come in to explain the whole situation," Alexei stands very close to me as he extends his hand toward my mother.
She reaches out and shakes his hand, "Of course, dear. Come in. There's no need to be so formal. It's just us here."
Once we are all seated at the dining room table, Alexei recounts our entire meeting. She interrupts him to compliment him on his new position, but otherwise allows him to finish the story before she speaks.
"How long did it last?" she asks without taking a second to think. The look on her face is not helping me figure out how she is feeling as she gently waits for Alexei or me to respond.
Alexei and I look at each other. He looks as unsure as I feel, so I answer my mother. "I think about ten or fifteen seconds. However long it took him to tell me they had offered him the position and for me to congratulate him."
I press my hands into my thighs and take a breath before I continue, slightly quieter than before, "And maybe a few seconds longer."
Ma is silent after I tell her what happened. Alexei looks like he is about to bond with the wallpaper in our dining room, he is shrinking so far back into his chair.
"Ma?" I ask after a few moments pass. "What do we do?"
She isn't showing any signs of distress, but I can never tell what she is thinking, so I am forced to wait for her answer.
"Who else saw? Were there any cameras?" she folds her hands in her lap and waits patiently for Alexei and I to answer her.
My heart leaps into my throat. I hadn't thought of cameras. I don't know if they have cameras. It was probably bad if they had cameras, right?
Alexei answers for me, providing a list of every person in the cafe and detailing the location of the camera. I can hardly hear him as my heart pounds in my ears.
When Alexei is finished speaking, I try to steady my heart and calm myself down. Ma will figure it out. We will be okay.
Ma stands up before she answers. "All right. Alexei, I think it is best if you return home while I speak to Maria."
He looks like he is about to protest but Ma continues, without wavering. "We wouldn't want to start any rumours with you around here for too long after what just happened. I'm sure we can figure this out and I will call on you when we know what we are going to do."
He nods and follows her towards the door.
"Thank you for having me," Alexei politely shakes Ma's hand before he turns toward me.
"Bye, Maria," he whispers as he walks out the door and closes it behind him.
My heart hurts to watch him leave. Less than an hour ago he had told me the best news. We'd had a future together. Now? Now, I'm not so sure.
"Come, Maria," Ma doesn't even wait until Alexei is out of sight before she ushers me into the kitchen, "We must prepare dinner."
Is she actually going to ignore this? We can't just ignore this. We have to do something!
* * *
Apparently we are just ignoring this. After I prepare dinner, Ma has me serve the family and clean up the dishes. I finally finish and she hands me yet another list of chores to complete. If she would help me, we would finish in less than half an hour. But instead, she sits and watches me work the whole day long until I'm about to collapse from exhaustion. Is this some kind of sick punishment?
Finally, after all of the dinner dishes are cleaned, she asks me to sit down with her at the kitchen table. I am hardly in a position to disagree with her as I feel like my legs are about to fall out from under me.
"Here," she slides a mug with tea across the table, which only serves to remind me of my earlier mishap.
I pick it up and take a sip to appease her, though my stomach is in knots. I set the cup back down on the table, fold my hands in my lap, and look at her until she finally speaks.
"Maria, I know you have come to us for help but I have spoken with your father, and we both think the best course of action is just to let it rest and hope nothing comes of it."
I try to interrupt her but she just holds up her hand and continues. "Neither your father nor I believe anything will come of it. If it does, we can deal with it then. Dealing with it now just risks alerting the authorities ourselves, and I don't believe it is worth the risk. I will call on Alexei's family with you in the morning and make sure everyone is in agreement. But I'm sure this is the best course of action."
I sit in stunned silence.
"All right, dear?"
"Yes," I say as I get up from my chair. "I guess I'll just go to bed, then."
There's no way I'm letting this drop. I can't let Alexei go to jail for me.
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