After the usual public displays of affection are outlawed, Alexei and Maria are careful to show their love only through the three approved methods. When Alexei tells Maria some exciting news, they forget themselves and hold hands. They're sure the t...
I wake the next morning with a start, still in my clothes from last night. Where am I? What happened? My thoughts swirl around as I sit up and look at the clock. I must have fallen asleep waiting for Ma last night. Does this mean Jem didn't tell her, or just that she's decided to wait before she talks to me about it?
I don't have a lot of time to think, because three sharp taps on my door call me back to my present reality.
"Yes?" I call to the person behind the door. When it starts to open, I know it is one of my parents, so I sit down in my chair and ball my dress up in my hands to keep from shaking.
"Isn't that the same dress you wore yesterday?" Ma asks when she sees me.
I look down, though I already know the answer. "Oh, uh, yeah. It is. I accidentally fell asleep without putting on pyjamas. Won't happen again."
Ma looks at me. She and I both know it will definitely happen again.
"Well," she sits down on the bed to talk to me. "I think we will leave right after breakfast." She looks at me again before adding, "Unless you need some more time."
I assure her I will be ready to leave the house in time and then usher her out into the hall so I can have a shower and get ready.
Did Jem not tell Ma about the disk? Or maybe she just didn't have a chance to watch it yet. Or maybe she knows exactly what it is and is just not talking to me about it. I guess it's just going to be yet another thing we don't talk about in this house and just hope it will go away.
When I step out of the shower, I force my thoughts away from the disk and the situation with Alexei and back to the task at hand. I have to get ready for this work dinner. My first work dinner. I think I might throw up.
I steady myself enough to put the braids in my hair. I'm pretty sure she's going to make me get a haircut, which means all of this work to put my hair up will be for nothing in only a few short hours. These are my least favourite days.
It feels like no time at all before we are rushing out the door, trying to look like we aren't rushing.
"Hello, Mrs. Richards," Ma waves as I close the door. "It's a lovely morning. Would you like us to accompany you?"
A minute ago, she almost strangled me for being too slow and now she's offering to accompany Mrs. Richards? Society does weird things to old people.
"Oh no, dear," Mrs. Richards replies as she waves back. "I'm just off to have my shoe mended."
"Have a lovely day, Mrs. Richards," I cut in as I wave as well.
Ma and I walk down the sidewalk to the street in perfect unison, I two steps behind her. As is proper.
* * *
"Oh Maria, that colour is lovely on you," Ma gushes as Mme. Genvieve turns me around in a stunning, floor length dress. I can see by Ma's face that she likes it a lot, and I can see by everyone else's face that Alexei will like it a lot, too.
"I need gloves," slips out of my mouth before I can stop it. Everyone stares at me. "I mean, I'm sorry. It's lovely, but I'd like to see it with some gloves." I manage to cover my insolent moment.
In all honesty, I kind of hate this dress. But I trust Ma's opinion of what's appropriate for this dinner and I have to make a good impression, so I'm just going to go for it.
Mme. Genevieve brings me long black gloves to go with my green dress, but I don't love them. When I try the white it looks even worse, so I agree to the black.
I guess my distaste is written on my face because Ma says, "Could we see the purple with the white gloves, Genvieve?"
"But of course!" she claps in delight, "I love the purple one on her. With your skin tone." She trails off to kiss her fingers. Apparently I will be perfection.
This dress has even more hooks and zippers and buttons than the last one. There's even a bit of a corset to tie up and some lace buttons that take Mme. Genvieve several minutes to clasp. Finally, she turns me around and helps me slide the gloves onto my hands. I can't see myself, but I'm not sure I want to.
As soon as I step out into the main area, the whole room stops. The bustle that permeated the room a moment ago is gone in an instant. Yep. This is the one.
I walk towards Ma and then lower my gaze, as there are other people here. "What do you think, Ma?" I ask quietly. "Is this appropriate for my event or would you like to see another?" I slip and let a small smile escape my lips, which I'm sure she can see from her vantage point, though she does not comment on it.
"I think it's perfect," Ma stands and takes my hand in hers while using her other hand to lift my chin so I am looking at her. "You are going to be amazing."
I take a deep breath, "I hope so."
Ma spins me around by my shoulders so I can see the mirror. "I know it," she says when I can finally see myself.
She might be right. If anything will convince Alexei to marry me, it's probably this dress. The light purple fabric hangs in just the right way as the lace overlay provides some modesty for my shoulders and arms. The swooping neckline is fluid and shows as much of my skin as is appropriate. I look like a girl from the superior pool in this.
I guess I am her. Weird.
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