I'm Helpless {SLOW UPDATES}

Yukari

He wiped away my tears
He deleted my sadness
he held my face in his hands
He doesn't pity me like everyone else
He cares about me

I yell at him
He's always alone
I barely talk to him
People hate him because of how I act around him
When I see him, I'm usually mad at him
When I text him, I say things I don't really mean
But he does the same
Even when I yell at him when I see him, I'm happy he's next to me
I feel like we're too different
We'll have countless arguments that will sooner or later have no meaning

We will sooner or later drift apart with no explanation.
I'll end up being alone again if we do
I don't want that to happen but what do I do?

The next day

Today as I walk to school, a whole bunch of people surrounded me asking me what happened yesterday after school or asked if I was okay
I just answered with a calm nothing really or a shy yes because it was really none of their business what happened.
They didn't have to worry about it.
They sooner or later started to walk away to their own class

When I walked to my class, I saw Ryuu talking to a boy I've never seen before
Maybe he's a new student
And I guess third old friends because they seem to be laughing a lot

I walk towards them and their laughing fades.
"Hey Ryuu" I say as I wave. "Who's this?"
"Oh! This is Yandé" Ryuu said enthusiastically "he's new"
"Um....., hi I'm Yukari" I waved at Yandé

"Hey, heh" he said in a shy tone
There was an akward silence for a while but as soon as a random person came it broke the silence
"Hey Yuki,-" she said
"Uh can you please not call me that,?" I interrupted.

"Er- yeeaah, anyways, whu- um what happened yesterday?" She asked
"

Oh! Um nothing really. You don't have to worry about it."
"Yet I am. What happened." She said seriously
"I-I um....."
"Hey if she doesn't want to tell you what happened she doesn't have to" I looked over to see who said that and it was Yandé!
"Hey I want to know because I'm worried about her!"
"Why do you have to worry about her?!"
"Because she wanted to kill herself once"
"Wait what?" I said in a low voice.
"Bullshit she did"
*Gasp* the girl said " I can't believe you said that"she said with her mouth wide open.
"I can't believe YOU said that"I said without thinking.
"Wai- what?" She said staring at me worried.
"I- I never said that I wanted to kill myself"
"But - you......said......."she whispered lower and lower as she said every passing word. Meanwhile Yandé was smirking and crossing his arms."Y- you LIED!!" She yelled so loud everyone around us started to stare and eavesdrop. "DID YOU LIE ABOUT HATING YOUR EXISTENCE???!!! YOU LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING!! OH. MY. GOD!!! I'M GONNA TELL EVERYONE!!"she said as she smiled.

"I didn't say that I hated my existence I said I questioned it." I said "big difference"
"Yeah she's right" Ryuu agreed. "Who hasn't done that before? We all question everything that God has presented right before our very eyes" We all gave him a weird look as he held his hands in front of his face as he gazed into he abyss beyond his hands.
'What the fuck?' I thought "Um, are you okay?"
"Oh! Um.... Yeah I'm fine" he said.
"Okay..........." I said. Everyone suddenly forgot what they were saying or what they were about to say.

------------ time skip -----------

It was the 4th bell that rang for lunch and everyone in class
(as usual) ran out the door shouting and laughing once the teacher dismissed us. I must admit that I did the same, but who can blame me I ate NOTHING today. Nothing.
I had Ryuu for that class and the moment one of my classmates mentioned the new kid I class, I automatically remembered what I had told to myself. I don't want our friendship to drift apart.
I ran back to the classroom hoping that he's still there. Once I step into the classroom all winded, everyone left in the classroom looked up and stared at me.
"Yes?" The teacher said.
"Uh- ....um...."I didn't know what to say and everyone in the classroom was staring at me. I just kept saying 'um' while looking around
"We're you looking for your lead pencil?" Yandé said holding it up.
"Oh! Yes! Thank you" I said walking toward them. I grabed my pencil off Yandés hand
"You're welcome" he said. " So what do you do at lunch?" He asked Ryuu
"Ummm... I'm usually alone, so I just draw in the shade" Ryuu said
"Sounds lonely but nice"Yandé said "doesn't it?" He turned and asked me. I've seen Ryuu a bunch of times alone drawing and I always wanted to do what he was doing because it seemed to be a calm and quiet thing to do in such a loud school.
"Yeah it does" I said as I smiled
"What do you do at lunch? Do you have any friends you hang out with?" Yandé asked me
"Um..-" I said.
"Hey kids go to lunch and get out of my classroom" the teacher said.
We all walked out together and Yandé asked me the same question.
"So what do you do?"
"I-I usually just hang out with a few kids I know and we eat lunch and just talk about random stuff" I said as I shrugged.
"W can Ias that girl from the morning your friend?" He asked
"Oh no" I responded quickly
"Do you wanna ditch your friend and do Ryuu's plan?" He asked. "Is that okay" he asked Ryuu.
"Uh yeah it's fine"Ryuu said
"Um..... Okay" I said.

Ryuu follows the lead as Yandé and I walked behind him.
"Can you guys not?" He said
"Not what? Wh- what did we do?" I asked.
"Nothing nevermind" he sat in his usual tree that I usually see him sit at all alone. He grabbed his backpack and got out his schetch book and headphones. I sat next to him but kept my distance. Meanwhile Yandé sits so close to Ryuu to watch him draw on the other side of him.
I take my schetch book out too but I have no headphones, so I just listen to the quiet conversations and the loud shouting of the people not too far from me.
"You draw pretty good"  Yandé says
I turn my head and for a split second I thought he was talking to me
"Um... thanks...." Ryuu said taking out an earphone to hear his voice
"What are you drawing Yukari?" He sets his head on Ryuu's knees to look over to me
"Um.....nothing really" I say
"Can I see?" He climbs over Ryuu's legs to look at my drawing. Meanwhile Ryuu leans back to the tree looking like what Yandé did made him feel uncomfortable.
I thought what he did was pretty weird and by Ryuu's expression, he thought it was too.
"Wow!" Yandé says. "It's better than Ryuunz drawing!"
"Ryuunz?" Ryuu and I say.
"What, you don't like your nickname?" Yandé says
"No," Ryuu said

"Ah~ why not?" He wimpers "eh whatever" he climbs over Ryuu's legs to see my drawing

Why is he doing that? Can't he go around him or stand up or something?
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End of ch.4: Yukari