In Your Head

No Exchange

(The word count says it's 1026 words but it feels like less sorry)

Declan Donnelly sat staring out of the window rain trickled slowly down the cold glass. The clouds were crying for him Dec closed his eyes and sobbed silently his own tears carving designs on his pale cheeks.

Dec had been silent all morning and he was worrying Ant greatly. Dec had wanted to ride in his own car to the airport, which was far from usual. Ant trusted that Ali had made sure Dec was in the car safely, Yet Ant still felt like Dec was going to do something to hurt himself. There was only one other time when he remembered Dec in such a worn out mental state and that was when Ant went into Rehab. Ant winced at the memory of coming out of rehab and looking into Dec's eyes, that night he had gone home and cried himself to sleep. Dec had looked at Ant as if he was a ghost. Dec had never told him how he was feeling, but Ant could see it in his every move, the way Dec would look at him, the way he would speak to Ant, Ant could tell that Dec was in pain. And now his daughter was gone, had been for months. Dec had been through so much, Ant wouldn't be surprised if Dec tried to kill himself.

Dec had arrived at the airport and he needed a way to hide his tears from Ant because he didn't want to ruin Ants happy mood that he had all morning despite the fact that Dec didn't want to ride with him. Dec remembered that he was wearing a hoodie and since it was cold he thought he had a perfect plan. Wear Hood. Avoid Ant.

Ants car pulled up and Ant was relieved when he saw Dec emerge from his car but frowned when he saw that Dec was wearing a hood. Ant tried to push away his worry, It's cold, he's just wearing a hood because he is cold. Ant couldn't convince himself. Dec never wore a hood unless he was hiding something. Ant got out of the car and narrowed his eyes at Dec whose head was down. Ant got out his suitcase and carry on and stared at Dec concentrating hard.

'Why are you wearing a hood?' Ant thought to Dec. Dec didn't answer so Ant asked again.

'Why are you wearing a hood Declan?'

'Because I'm cold...'

'I have a really hard time believing that.'

'Mind your own business.'

Ant was stunned, Dec never told him to mind his own business. Dec's business was Ant's Business and Vice Versa. They were practically the same person. Ant realised that Dec was now far ahead of him and Ant didn't want Dec to leave his watch until Dec told Ant what he was hiding. Ant darted through the crowds determined to catch up to Dec. Ant was being recognised and people were asking for pictures but he ignored the fans and continued rushing apologising every time he bumped into someone. Soon enough he realised that the crowd had parted and was now staring at him but Ant didn't care he put his stuff down and walked to Dec who had turned away from him and was trying to check in his bags, pretending that he didn't know what was going on. The lady checking in Dec's luggage looked at Ant with a look of confusion. Ant smiled at her and then became suddenly angry at Dec. Ant found a chair and pulled it close to him and then he shoved Dec into it. Ant was aware of the press crowding in a ring 5 feet away from the two of them and the people joining them as well. Dec still refused to look at Ant and Ant decided that Dec needed a telling off. He didn't care that it was in public.

"Declan Donnelly. Look at me." Dec lifted his head and Ant could see the tear stains.

"Declan, I've had it with your crap. For the past few months I've been nothing but kind to you, trying to be a figure of comfort and what have I got in return? Nothing, Dec, nothing. Normally I would be ok to provide for you and get nothing but the satisfaction of keeping you safe because I love you, but lately I haven't even got that. I would risk my life for your safety. Wasn't just a few days ago that you apologised for avoiding me? What happened to not doing that anymore? You say you do it so you do not hurt me but it hurts me more when you don't talk to me. I have been worried sick about you constantly. Your Mental Health has been terrible for the past 2 and a half years I am constantly worrying about you killing yourself, Worrying myself making sure you are always under someone's watch because I cannot lose you. I'm done Dec, Done. If you want to avoid me so be it. I'm going to stop trying because I cannot keep chasing after you and keeping you safe." Ant caught his breath and turned away to get his bags.

"Wait!" Ant heard Dec shout from behind him. Ant turned around and Dec jumped clinging onto Ant and Ant was surprised but then squeezed Dec tightly making sure Dec wouldn't fall. Ant quietly whispered into Dec's so that only Dec would hear him.

"I missed you pal."

And with that the two of them got ready to get on the plane. Dec excused himself to got to the restroom and Ant smiled.

Dec walked into the restroom expecting to see a lot of people but he saw no one. Dec moved over to wash his face but his wallet fell from his pocket. Dec bent down to get it but he was stopped in his tracks when Dec heard the door slam shut. Dec looked up to see a big man standing before him with a stick in his hand.

"Hello Declan."

That was the last thing Dec heard before his world crashed into swirling Darkness...