Venus [BARRETT]

EIGHT

YELLOW

☼

The kiss had to end at some point, but it still would've felt too short even if it had never ended at all.

Both his gentle hands had lifted and were holding my face, eyes closed, the rough wind pushing the pattering rain onto our cheeks. When he finally pulled away, he was grinning, wide. I'm sure his face reflected my own, due to the sparkles I was feeling all over my skin from our close proximity.

Now, just as wild as it had begun, the rain was subsiding, and the sun was trying its hardest to break through the thick clouds.

Syd had brought his hands from my face down to my shoulders, and finally to my hands, where he held them tightly. With my brain being able to think again, I realised how cold I felt on the damp bus seat, despite the warmth I felt in my own little reality created by the kiss.

I was watching his face while his eyes traced my lips, both of us waiting for the other to make a statement that made sense.

"That was. . . very unlike myself," I explained, slightly embarrassed.

Like the sun had gone behind a cloud again, Syd's face suddenly grew serious. "You know you're hurting me."

I hesitated. "Syd. . ."

He tilted his face downwards and looked at our hands, threading his fingers with mine over and over. "Please just tell me you feel the same way. I need just that much."

Resounding silence made a home in my head; there was nothing I could sew together to say that I knew how to. Had the kiss not been my feelings in a package? Perhaps - and it was received graciously, but I knew that he needed an admission. I understood that he saw it as a scapegoat from the truth. Yet, saying it aloud turned thoughts into reality, and that's what we both knew I was hiding from.

"Syd," I repeated in a sigh, letting him continue holding my hands, though mine had gone limp.

Green eyes softened with disappointment. "Why're you here, Myra? Do you even feel bad about it?"

I looked to the concrete below our feet, slicked wet from the rain, but not for long. I hoped it would dry before I began my way home, so I didn't have to chance catching my pathetic reflection in a dirty puddle. I never knew that I was capable of cheating on someone - or better still, that I wouldn't feel necessarily guilty.

I furrowed my brow gently. Syd let go of my hands and dropped them to his sides. Some of the rain had landed in his hair and on his shoulders from where the wind had danced with it, dampening him. "Please, just tell me something." His voice fell flat.

"I'm sorry I'm making you feel this way-" I implored.

"-I'm sorry, too," he stood up to stand before me. Monotonous. "I'm sorry that I dragged you out here."

His sarcasm stung me and tears of frustration sprang into my eyes. "I get it, I shouldn't have kissed you. I wasn't thinking."

Syd shot me one last despondent expression, turned on his heels, and began to walk away from me. I jumped up and walked after him; he was insane to think he could just run off.