Chapter 4

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Amongst the natural waves of nerves and excitement, the most striking thought Max kept coming back to while sat in her first lecture was how unbelievably uncomfortable the seating arrangement was. She had placed her notebook on the surface in front of her, preferring this method over electronic alternatives, but found it was too far out of reach. She was either forced to lean forward in a way that was certainly going to contribute to issues with her spine later in life, or awkwardly rest the notebook on her lap. Max found it hard to believe that someone had designed this format to encourage optimum learning, and that every university seemingly throughout the world had agreed.

The second most striking element of this scene was the deafening silence within the room. There were no introductions or whispers from individuals already acquainted, other than occasional coughs from the sick there was only the sound of the united thought of uncertainty radiating from everyone in the room.

The professor clipped a microphone to his shirt and gave it a gentle tap to check it was working.

"Okay. Finish up your conversations guys and we'll get started." It was clear this was meant as a joke, but it was received with more silence. "Don't worry, you'll all get much closer than this during your time here, and to the coughing few, you should eventually return to full health... Today will mainly be an introduction lecture, speaking of I'm Professor John Simmons and I'm the director of studies for your program, any issues you have I'm the person to contact. Before we get any further, as a bit of an ice breaker, I want you to shake the hand of three people sitting close to you and introduce yourself. Go on, no need to be shy."

Max was hesitant, but it seemed so was everyone around her. Max turned to her right and saw a small blonde looking timidly back at her, Max wasn't usually the first to initiate conversation but the girl next to her seemed almost on the verge of tears and much further out of her comfort zone than Max was. Arm extended, Max spoke. "Hi, I'm Max." The girl seemed cautious but slowly placed her hand in Max's.

"I'm Kate, Kate Marsh."

The air between them felt awkward, and Max wanted to say more but she was interrupted by a boy in front grasping her hand with a firm shake. "Cameron," was all he said before turning to Kate and repeating his actions. As conversations around the room died down John spoke up.

"Statistically speaking most of you just met your best friend for your university experience. If you weren't that fortunate, I hope you at least met someone you can stand to work with because in groups of four or five in your rows you are going to prepare a presentation for next week's lecture on a topic I will introduce you to later on... I need one person in your group to email the names of your group members, anyone without a group by this time tomorrow will be randomly assigned one. Don't stress too much, this is a very casual presentation and you are not being graded, it is meant to prepare you for future presentations that are assessed and help you guys to start communicating which is always a challenge in the first few weeks."

If Max wasn't already regretting every decision that had led to her sitting in this lecture hall, she certainly was now. Max was not a natural speaker and she was already dreading this presentation.

The day was not going how Max had planned. Max had made it to the campus coffee shop, only she wasn't alone and despite being on her 3rd mocha she was yet to say a word to Chloe. Instead she was sat with 4 strangers discussing photography in a post-truth era feeling sick to her stomach about having to present their research and stealing not so subtle glances at her ex best friend.

"Earth to Max! We were talking about the long-term effects of using a still image as emotional propaganda for political gains. Are you going to contribute to this project at all or just continue daydreaming?" Simon asked, or was it Sam? Max wasn't paying attention to introductions.

"S-sorry, I uh agree with whatever you said, sorry I need a refill." Max heard a comment about her already being on her 3rd drink but she was already walking away. Walking towards the celestial being that was Chloe Price, and already forgetting the words she wanted to say.

She stopped at the till and found herself frozen in Chloe's glare.

"Refill?" Chloe asked with bitterness in her tone after Max spent seconds stuttering.

"Yes, well no-"

"Not much I can do for you then, next!"

"Chloe please, I just want to talk. Can we please just talk?" Max's voice was weak, and she could feel the threat of tears at Chloe's apathy.

"No and you need to leave I'm trying to work." Chloe's voice was calm and that hurt more than if she'd screamed.

"Why won't you hear me out, let me explain?"

"Because I don't want some bullshit rehearsed speech from you Max. This is on my terms not yours. You didn't come back for me, you cut me off and you didn't come here for me either. If you hadn't seen me the other night, I'd still be someone that got left in your past with no goodbye or explanation why. I've thought about you everyday since you left, I wanted nothing more than to see you again, but I didn't realise how much I hated you until the adrenaline I got from seeing you again finally left. Now order a coffee or go."

"Mocha."

"$5." She handed Chloe the money and then she left without waiting for her drink.

Max Caulfield was one week into university and already her flatmates hated her because she wasn't cool the way they were, her course mates hated her because she'd been a total flake on the presentation, and her best friend hated her because she had been a terrible best friend. Not to mention, Max spent the remainder of Monday having hellacious coffee shits.

As Friday came and her first week of lectures was over, Max did the only thing she could think to do. She called her mum and packed a bag ready for a weekend trip home.

Locking her room behind her, Max headed for the stairs but was confronted by Victoria on her way. Victoria took one glance at Max, noticed the bag on her back and scoffed at Max.

"You're going home already Max? You've been here a week; how do you expect to make friends if all you do is hide in your room and run home to mummy every chance you get." Normally Max would shy down to someone like Victoria, but she'd been having a pretty crappy week and it helped her grow some balls she didn't realise she had.

"Back off Victoria, why have you got to be such a bitch we're not in high school anymore. And for the record I'd rather have no friends if you're my main option." This appeared to amuse Victoria.

"Well well the cat does have claws. You're right this isn't high school so stop waiting for people to hand things to you and make the changes you need to make instead of running home every time you get upset. The rest of us have spent the week bonding if you don't join in soon you're gonna spend the whole year getting left out."

"Please all you care about is that I might, what was it 'spend the whole year bringing down the vibe.'"

"You weren't bringing the vibe down because you came out with us and you were boring Max, it was because you came out when you clearly didn't want to be there. You don't have to drink and party to hang with us." Victoria sighed and continued "Look go home if you want but you can knock on my door when you get back if you want to talk about what's driving you away. I'm not always a bitch."

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